Just a Girl

A Sad Goodbye

2006-09-01T20:44:00.000+02:00

Going to Germany was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I remember finding out that I got accepted to the Universität des Saarlandes. Since my fiance was not awake at the time, I ran upstairs to my friends' dorm and told them and laughed and smiled like you wouldn't believe. Then later, when I told my fiance, I broke down into tears at the shear joy and happiness and relief of it all. Finally, a dream I had since I was a little girl, was becoming a reality and I'd get to live in Germany. Finally, I'd be able to be a "real" girlfriend to Fabian and to put a stop to the long distance relationship and learn what it's like to just be with him for longer than 6 weeks. I couldn't believe it was really true and time couldn't go fast enough until it was time for me to go.

Then it was suddenly time and I had to say goodbye to family and friends, which I found a lot harder than I thought. Once I got there I was instantly hit with culture shock. Everyone spoke German so fast, I swore they weren't breathing. Fabian was there but I realized that I wouldn't see my family for over a year - people I had seen often throughout my entire life. People I was really close to. But after a while it got better. My German comprehension got better, my pronunciation and speaking skills improved and life became easier. I was adjusting. But for a long time I would still get hit with occasional "culture shock" symptoms. Sometimes I would just be tired of German. Sometimes all I'd want is to go to the States, eat Taco Bell and watch TV in English so I could just veg out. Other times I would be tired of always having to explain myself in German in a restaurant or store. Eventually those times came less and less often, until finally I woke up one day and realized that Germany was now my home.

The rest of the time there was fantastic. There were still some sad times or days when I missed my family, but those were quite seldom and I just enjoyed life. I enjoyed being with Fabian and focusing on my classes. I enjoyed teaching English to a little girl and volunteering at a the Bird Park. I enjoyed my friends and my life in this place that had once been so different to me. Towards the end I got stressed out pretty bad about tests and my gorilla study at the Saarbruecken zoo, but then that was over and I was just happy to have vacation in Spain with Fabian. Then he asked me to marry him... :)

Then eventually it got harder. Eventually I realized that I really was going to be leaving Germany and Fabian behind to come back to the States. I dreaded leaving and it was and is the hardest thing I've ever done.

When I got to the States, my reverse culture shock was really bad. I cried often in the first several days for a lot of reasons. Some of those reasons had to do with leaving Fabian and missing him, but an almost equal amount had to do with being in the States. When I left Germany behind I didn't just leave Fabian behind, I also left my home there. Germany isn't just a place that I spent a year - it became a part of me and a part of who I am. It's changed me in ways I can't even explain and I wouldn't give up or change anything about my year abroad.

Now I sit here, not even a month after I'm back and I realize that it's time to move on. Originally I thought about keeping Just a Girl active until I'm over my reverse culture shock but now I'm not sure if I'll ever be completely over the reverse culture shock... at least not for a really long time. Just like when I was in Germany, there will be times when all I want to do is go home (to Germany), where everything makes sense. There will be times when all I want to do is sit down and watch TV that's in German. I'll probably never write a date again without remembering that if I was in Germany I'd be writing it day/month/year and I'll probably always occasionally wonder how to say something to someone, and then realize that I speak English to them so it doesn't matter how I'd say it in German. Germany has changed my entire out look on life, the world, and America in such a way, that being here in the States will never be the same to me ever again. As my German teacher told me the other day,

"We send people abroad with the hopes of making them uncomfortable and looking at things completely different when they get back. Though we don't want to say that we hope the students will go through a tough time, we hope to show them that there is a whole wide world out there and that when they come back, everything is completely different to them. We want them to have a new outlook on the world."

But I realize that it's time to move on, at least in the blog world. I suspect that one day in the future I'll wake up and realize that I've re-adjusted to life here completely...but that day is a long ways off. It could be months or years from now... or maybe even never. It's time for me to focus on my new blog and how to integrate this wonderful part of my life into my current situation and home.

So it is with a heavy heart that I close this blog. It has been a great way for me to capture my year and turn me on to the world of blogging. For those of you interested in my story, feel free to start at the beginning and read them all. Then go on to Everyday Escapades: The Story of a Girl, and read all about my current situation as I finish college, deal with having a long distance relationship and readjust to life in the US. And with that, I say farewell.

Wrong Link

2006-08-25T23:45:00.000+02:00

Hey guys - when I put up the link for my new blog I wrote the link wrong. Here's the one that should work:

Everyday Escapades: The Story of a Girl

Just in Case

2006-08-25T02:13:00.000+02:00

Just in case I never posted it up here, or you haven't heard yet:

I'm engaged!

Fabian aked me to marry him, so it's official.

No, we haven't set a date yet but I'll keep you all updated...

Respect

2006-08-24T15:14:00.000+02:00

In Germany college students wait to leave until the teacher is completely done talking. Then they knock on the desk for a second or two, telling the instructor that he did a good job lecturing, and then they get up and leave. All in all, it's a very respectful process.

In the U.S. college students start getting up as soon as the clock says it's time to go, some students get up regardless of the fact that the teacher is still talking. As soon as he pauses briefly, a good portion of the students will stand up. If he starts to talk again, they'll just stand there until he's done and some of them will talk still. There's no knocking or anything. All in all, it doesn't seem like such a respectful process.

My New Home

2006-08-23T14:28:00.000+02:00

No, I'm not talking about my apartment, I'm talking about a brand new home on the web! Yes indeedy... as I mentioned before, I started up a new blog to go with this new part of my life... now it is up and running and has a few posts up already! The new blog will eventually be the only blog I have, but I will continue to post up to this one occassionally for a little while still...so pop on over and have a read!

Everyday Escapades: The Story of a Girl.

2006-08-23T14:26:00.000+02:00

The view at about 7 am outside my living room window.

My First Night

2006-08-22T05:23:00.000+02:00

I sit here in my very first apartment, all by myself at about 10:15 at night. I arrived here between 11 am and noon today, and after much hauling of stuff up to my third floor apartment, we ate lunch and ran around all over the place getting things. Or to be put exactly: I went to lunch and Savers with my family, then ran around all over the other places alone to get everything done. This evening it was visiting friends and catching up on things with people I haven't seen in a very long time. Now I sit here back in my apartment, alone.

I haven't really unpacked anything yet: my bed isn't even made. Mom put away a few things earlier, but I don't even know where she put the things at really. I put away the cold food stuff in the fridge after grocery shopping, but nothing else. And all my stuff is all over the place. The apartment is really messy and it looks terrible. But do you know what I keep thinking over and over again as I sit here?

If I put away all my stuff or go to bed or do anything besides type on my computer... the reality will sink in that Fabian really isn't here with me, that I'm really not going back to Germany and that my year abroad really is over. All things I wish I could make go away.

Okay - I'm done feeling sorry for myself now. Off I go to at least put a couple things away before bed.

Strange Country

2006-08-21T02:14:00.000+02:00

It is now Sunday the 20th of August and I've been back in the States for a week and a half. I still find this country weird and overwhelming sometimes... a few of the things I've found strange:

1. Buildings that are short and fat instead of tall and not so wide like in Germany.
2. All the space there is here.
3. All the space people have in their homes. Seriously, I don't know how many times I was sitting in a house thinking, "Why is there so much space? What do they do with it all?"
4. All the patriotism here. I'm all for the USA and stuff, but come on - do we really need poptarts that are decorated like the flag?
5. How sweet things are here. Particularly cake. I ate half of a peice of my welcome home cake/sister's birthday cake and had to stop because it was so sweet.
6. TVs in English are still sort of weird.
7. All the people around me are talking in English.
8. Dates are in month/day/year format instead of day/month/year like in Germany.
9. I can drive again, legally.
10. If I speak German, no one understands me.

And there's more too, but those are the big ones. Tommorrow I move into my apartment. 99% of my stuff is packed and loaded already, we leave at 8 am. Until tomorrow!

I'm back.

2006-08-13T16:32:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. I don't have a lot of time, so I'm just going to make this short and let you all know that I got back to the States all safe and sound. My family surprised me last night as I got home in Minnesota for the first time in 13 months and gave me a surprise party (and it was a party for my sis's birthday as well). It was very nice, and lots of fun to see everyone again. Being back here is really weird again.I'm not used to all the people speaking English, dollars, miles, or a lot of other things... I'll fill you all in more later. Now I'm headed off to visit various family all week long and don't know when I'll post again. At the latest early next week. Take care and leave me a comment.

T minus 25 hours and counting.

2006-08-08T10:28:00.000+02:00

hey all, I'm back in Germany. I leave tomorrow morning. I'm dreading it, but I'm looking forward to see my family again, and just keep reminding myself of the good things: I get to see family and friends again, I get my apartment, University classes in the english language, and velveeta salsa cheese dip with tortilla chips.

I have tons to do today, but I'm putting off doing them. Why? Because I can. And mainly because Fabian is still sleeping, so I'm using that as an excuse.

I'm officially going to create a new blog. This blog has served me well, but I feel like it's time to create something new, for the next chapter in my life. I'm not sure when I'll be switching over, and for awhile I might be posting on both blogs. I feel like anything to do with reverse culture shock belongs with this blog, whereas other areas of my life once I get back belong with my new blog. So, we'll see when I make the cut off, and once I get the blog up and running, I'll post a link up. This blog will stay available online however, for a long time to come. Eventually I want to print out the entries and make a journal/memory book thing out of it, but that'll probably be a while from now.

Anyways, I'm going to go. I can't believe my year has come down to 25 hours. It's amazing how much time flies.

spain still

2006-08-03T17:35:00.000+02:00

so, i posted a blog up just now, but because everything on the websites are in spanish, i accidently deleted it instead of posting it... oops.

anyways, the main points of my blog were that I´m still in spain, i´m tanned, i´ve swam everyday except yesterday and probably today, and Ellen (Fabian´s mom) is here now. It´s been fun, and I leave for the States in less than a week.. but I´m trying not to think about it.

I´m currently in an internet cafe over here, where no one speaks english or german and i don´t speak spanish. The other interesting fact is that the guy next to me is looking at porn.. which makes me quite uncomfortable, I must say. I´d report it, except that i don´t know if it´s against the rules here and secondly i don´t speak spanish so i can´t really report it...

anyways, that´s all from spain, not too much more interesting going on. just relaxing and enjoying it. i finished book four of harry potter, and can´t wait to get my hands on book 5... good books! i probably won´t post now until i´m back in the states, so don´t worry if i don´t post until the end of august. i want to give my blog a new look too for the next, new chapter in my life (mainly, going back to a university in the states) so keep an eye out for that as well...

cheers to a great year in germany and the start of a new (academic) year in the states!

MALLORCA!

2006-07-27T19:59:00.000+02:00

well, as you may have guessed from the title, I have somehow managed to survive all of my classes in Germany and all of my tests are over. I came out of the semester with solid B´s across the board, so I´m happy. It will probably bring down my GPA just a tiny bit back at NDSU, but I´m okay with that. I just want to get credit now for my classes.

Anyways, I´m currently in Mallorca, an island of Spain. Fabian´s grandma lives here and it is just beautful. There are mountains, there are plains... there are ruins from windmills all over the place, and the ocean is everywhere you look it seems. I have swam in the ocean every single day since Friday morning when we arrived, and the way it looks, it´ll stay that way. I´ve somehow managed to not get a sun burn until today, after sitting on a beach for about half an hour to an hour reading Harry Potter - book 4. Everyday I think about how great it is to be here, how nice it is to not have class anymore or anything to do besides read, swim, sight see, and work on my scrap book. Fabian´s grandma has been nice enough to let us stay with her and she is a sweet lady. We get along great! Fabian and I have rented a car for a week, and have been touring around the island looking at the small towns and checking out the beaches. Today we found the perfect beach - rocky, off the beaten path, with crystal clear blue waters, sandy bottoms and no seaweed whatsoever. Today we came back a bit early (around seven pm) and I finally got a chance to get online at an internet cafe, where the keyboard is spanish and crazy. Being here makes me want to learn spanish too!

Less than two weeks until I come back to the states, and I´m scared out of my mind. Scared of what it´ll be like to be back, scared I won´t fit in there anymore, scared I´ll not be able to leave Fabian, scared I´ll be unhappy... just scared of the unknown I guess. Crazy to think, that a year ago I was having these same thoughts about coming to Germany and Europe! But, I try my best not to think about it, and when I do think about it, I try to remind myself that I get to see my family and friends again, and that I get to have my very first apartment and that Fabian will eventually come join me. So, I´m surving until then, and just really really enjoying my vacation. I´ll show you all pics when I can, and update when I can again (may not be until August). Take care everyone!

2006-07-20T06:53:00.000+02:00

"All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking,
It's early morn.
The taxis waitin',
He's blown its horn
Already I'm so lonesome,
I could die.

So kiss me and smile for me.
Tell me that you'll wait for me.
Hold me, like you'll never let me go.
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again..."

Even though I'm not leaving Fabian for another 2.5 weeks (first it's off to Spain, yay!) I woke up with this song in my head. I packed my bags last night, so I could decide how much I could keep in my suitcases and how much I'd have to ship back to the states. I'm leaving four books here, because I just don't want them anymore (if I haven't used them over the last year, I don't need them), and am carrying some stuff in my carry-on, and I still just barely make it under the weight! I can only have 50 lbs in each check in bag... on the way here I could have 70 in each I believe. So that sucks. Cause I literally still have room in my suitcases, but it can't be anything heavy that goes there or else I'll go over weight. And all the rest of my stuff is heavy. So, today I get to spend 42.00 Euros ($52.00) to ship 10 kg (22 lbs) of stuff back to the states. It sucks. But, it's all stuff thats gotta come back.

Anyways, tonight it's off to Frankfurt, and tomorrow morning at 5 AM its off to Mallorca. I'm excited for the trip... but at the same time, a bit sad because I know that soon I'll be leaving Fabian here. I don't know if I'll be able to post while in Spain. If I can I'll sneak up a post now or then. If not, you all may not hear from me again until I'm back in the USA...

So if my posts take an overall (more so than usual lately) depressed turn, you all know why. It's going to be tough for me at first, I know... there's always an adjustment period after being with him, to adjust to going back to our long distance lifestyle... the adjustment period'll be tough, so just hang with me and send me some happy comments, when it comes to that time, okay? And for now, dear readers, I'm doing what I should be doing: trying not to think about it, and enjoying every second I get with him.

Over? What? sigh not yet

2006-07-18T21:19:00.000+02:00

I've said goodbye to everybody except my closest two friends here, Ellen, the international advisor, my german class comrades, and Fabian. I've completed all requirements for 4 out of 6 classes. I got B's for two of those classes, a "pass" grade for one, a "I participated" certificate for another and need to complete the homework for the 5th one tonight before bed (it's already 9:17, I babysat too tonight), and give a short speech along with do a test for the last one on Thursday. Tomorrow I pick up the rest of my Scheine (things that say my grades on them) that I can before I go, pack up my things and decide what needs to be shipped home. Then I need to ship the stuff home Thursday, plus choose pictures for the rest of my scrap book and make sure I have enough paper for the rest of it, so I can do it over vacation. I need to decide to take books with on Greenpeace or not on vacation, as I am doing that project now (yep, switched again) for my international major, as soon as I get the OK and am using the Gorilla research for credit for Zoology.

I got the cutest picture of the girl I babysat today, on my last day... and left her crying with her dad when he wouldn't let her come with me when I left on the bus. Though she asked me multiple times if today was my last day ever, we don't think she quite understood the concept yet. Thankfully. Next week she'll probably ask about me, and the week after... but eventually she'll probably all but forget me (though I'm planning on keeping in contact, so hopefully not). It was still sad though, and her cute giggle and "gut? gut!" will be missed.

*sigh* life goes on, friends move apart, people say goodbye, and life changes. It's been a great year here...I don't know what else to say. I'm going to miss my home here.

I have no brain power to title this post

2006-07-17T20:03:00.000+02:00

so... tired... of studying..

please.. just make it go away...

hi everyone. i'm mentally exhausted, physically sun burned (we went to the North Sea on Sunday w/Fabian's dad and girlfriend. Was a blast, but am now burned), tired and feeling run down. I've decided to only get a "I attended this class" certificate for one of my tests because I don't care if I don't get credit at NDSU, cause I'm not superwoman (I can't do it all, even though I try sometimes) and because I really didn't get the class....

I have a test on Tuesday, homework (6 pages) due on Wednesday morning (gonna be pulling a partial nighter for that one I'm afraid), a test on Thursday and a presentation on Thursday (both of which should be easier). Plus I have a bunch of other things to do before I go to Mallorca.

Just make it all go away please.

oops

2006-07-14T08:05:00.000+02:00

the no comment thing was my fault. I turned on a "approve all comments before publishing" thing on my settings, and forgot.

i'm so blonde sometimes, I scare myself.

wooo.

thanks for all the comments guys! you've been supportive, and I didn't even know! awww... yes suzie, me leaving everybody and having to say good bye makes me sad, but it's cute that you said it makes you happy! :) I am excited to see you all again. Leaving is such a weird feeling.

But now I gotta go.. today's my last day at the bird park.

Did I tell you all that I got the 1 bedroom apartment I wanted in University Village?

YAY!

2006-07-14T07:57:00.000+02:00

So, I had my second test of the semester yesterday! It went very well, and I only studied for 1.5 days for it (that's how much time I had, I found out about it last minute). Anyways... here are the results of things so far:

Zoo Research: done :)
Women and Gender History: B- (3)
Social Psychology: B+ (2)

I still have:

Music Test
Cognitive Psychology
German Culture Test
German Culture Presentation
Homework assignment (basically an essay) for Anthropology

So, there's still a lot to do... but at least two are down with good grades! :)

Anybody there?

2006-07-13T07:43:00.000+02:00

* knocks on computer screen*

Hello? Is anyone out there? Are you still reading me? I haven't seen any comments in a long time... no words of encouragement, no congratulations on getting better grades than you thought, no wow the diablo thing is cool/horrible/dumb/different... do you still exist?

*sighs, walking away* I feel so lonely in this world called cyberspace.

2006-07-12T08:02:00.000+02:00

THIS JUST IN:

So, I e-mailed the guy here who is responsible for sending my grades back to NDSU in the american system, and he told me that a 3.0 on the German scale is really a B- in american! YAY! And since we don't have any "+" or "-" grades at NDSU, that means that I really got a B in those classes! YAY! ALL IS NOT LOST! I MAY BE ABLE TO USE MY CLASSES FOR CREDIT AFTER ALL WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT HURTING MY GPA TOO MUCH!

YAY!

I'm sooooooooooooo excited, and relieved.

Okay. Now I need to get ready for class.

I'm a Goner

2006-07-12T07:37:00.000+02:00

Not really, I'm just going to be really busy in the next fews days and I don't know if I'll have time to post, so I thought I'd warn you all ahead of time. Here's my schedule:

Wednesday - 2 classes, study for test for tomorrow
Thursday - Test (which I just learned I had on Thursday YESTERDAY!)
Friday - Bird Park: My last day :( afterwards Fabian is coming and we're all barbecuing.
Saturday - Fabian's dad's place, to see them one more time before I go.
Sunday - Fabian's dad's place, again.
Monday - class, study for tests
Tuesday - 12:00 test ; 2:00 test ; 4-8 babysitting - last time. :(
Wednesday - turn in homework assignment.
Thursday - may or may not have test (it might be on this thursday). Take train to Frankfurt and sleep in airport....
Friday - 5:00 AM flight to Mallorca (spanish island) until August 7th

So, there you have it. I have way lots to do, and little time to do it in. So... I'm a bit stressed out. Anyone want to trade lives?

Dude, did you just hear that - Germany got 3rd Place?

2006-07-09T08:03:00.000+02:00

It happened. Germany first lost against Italy. In the last minute of overtime, Italy scored 2 goals and Germany was out of the running for the World Cup Final. Germany played again last night against Portugal for 3rd place, and WON! :) WOO HOO!

Now, you may be thinking: third place? BIG DEAL! Actually yeah. Germany came further than anyone thought they would, they lost a bunch of games at the start of the season, and they beat Argentina, the favorite for the World Cup.

So yeah..I'm proud. Congratulations Germany.

My Travels

2006-07-08T08:26:00.000+02:00

So, I found this on Suzie's Blog and decided to create a couple myself. Here's where I've traveled to in the U.S. (I marked California, because technically I've been there, but we really only drove through a corner way in the bottom). You can easily see the parts of the country that I need to get to more:

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

I was going to put one up of Europe too, but since they don't separate the countries on the map, it looks like I've been all over Europe, when really I've only been to a few of the larger countries. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

Dissapointment

2006-07-07T08:31:00.000+02:00

I had my first test yesterday. For the last two weeks I have done hardly anything else, besides study for this test. I copied off information from books on the subject, got information from offline, used my notes, and used notes from a German girl who is in that class. I learned gobs of information, which I could explain from memory.

Then I went to the test yesterday. It was a spoken test. I was so nervous and hoping that all my hard work would pay off that I cried, which was really dumb of me. I couldn't control. This time I at least just left, calmed myself down, and came back and things went fine again. Before that they were fine as well. During the test I was able to answer all buy one question. I was nervous and she was looking at me as if I was dumb or something (it seemed) so I added a lot of "I think" or "I believe" at the end of my sentences which probably didn't help either. At the end I got a 3 which is like a C in the American system. Now, I know a C isn't bad, but I'm still disapointed.

Why? Because I did everything in my power to do well on this test. I knew that I would end up missing some points because I don't speak German as my first language and I end up missing things in class sometimes. But I was hoping for a B. I feel like the information I gave, and showing how much work and effort I put in to it, and how much stuff I did know (despite the fact that I didn't know a couple of things) should have earned me a B. The way she made it sound she actually wanted to fail me, but was giving me a C to be nice (they don't have D's here) cause "the grades don't really matter for you anyways." uh... hello? If the grades didn't matter I wouldn't be taking a test - I'd get a "teilnahmbescheinigung" which is a peice of paper saying I went to the class and took part.

So, I'm bummed and frustrated cause other than not cry and be more self confident, I don't feel like I could have done anything better. School is usually easy for me, so it's a little tough on me to have worked so hard only to have gotten a lower grade. I know other people haave this all time, and that here it is really only because of the language... but I feel like I did so much better, and that I actually deserved a better grade. That's what's frustrating, you know? If I deserved a C or even an F I'm fine. Then I got what I deserved. But I don't feel like I deserved this grade. And I have two more of these spoken tests in other classes, so now I'm more nervous for them as well. Will all that hard work again, only pay off in a 3 (C)? I'm going to e-mail the professor later to see what I could have done better to get a better grade, then apply that info to my next tests.

At least I have one class done with.

Reflections: 1 Year Blogging & (soon) I Year in Germany

2006-07-04T07:28:00.000+02:00

On this fourth of July, I can't help but reflect back on the previous year, as my blog was begun exactly 1 year ago today from the office in my parent's house with this post.

I started out this adventure then, with so many ideas in my head of how it would go, all the friends I would make, the German I would be able to speak, and the way my relationship with Fabian would turn out after this year. I was scared and excited all at the same time, I wanted everything I could possibly get out of this year.

And now, here I am, just a little over one month before I leave: 54 days or so. I feel like I'm thousands of miles away from that girl who started out this year scared and excited, but at the same time I feel like the same girl. I guess it's the same feeling anyone gets, when they start out their life with one mind set, and then go through the real deal and change their mind set. That is what happened to me this year. There were great times, and scary times, and plain old not so good times. I've been lucky to have this year here, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Here's what I've learned:

1. Learning a second language is a constant process. You never stop learning and you never stop making mistakes occassionaly, but that's okay.
2. College in another language is T.O.U.G.H.
3. Spoken tests are just like 20 minute presentations, except you don't get any notecards.
4. No matter what happens in my life, I'll be okay.
5. It's easy to take for granted the little things in life that you don't get in another country: like drinking fountains (from the states) or brötchen (aka rolls: Germany).
6. I'm a procrastinator at heart.
7. I tend to stress myself out with too much things on my plate to do. But I always get things done.
8. In Germany they only put one space between sentences. Now I only put one space between sentences.
9. I tend to become a hermit when I'm too stressed out.
10. I didn't make nearly as many friends as I thought I would, but the ones I have are good. And I've learned how great it is to just spend the evenings/weekends with Fabian.

So, here's cheers to one year and hoping that the next year teaches me just as much as this past year has. Life is always a learning experience. With all the learning I've done this year, I've made some great memories and created a new me who I like.

In celebration of my one here on blogger, here are a few of my favorite posts:
* Diving
* I am
* News Conference

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE! (enjoy your day off. me, I still have class/work).

** Edit: Upon rereading this blog, my reflections sound almost negative about my year and I want to make sure you all know: my year here has really been wonderful. I'm really really lucky. I'm just also really really tired right now, which is why I think I sould a bit more pessimistic. It's too early to be chipper! :)

Diablo

2006-07-03T22:16:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. So, here's another video! Woo! This is a video done last Tuesday at my Juggling group thing. "Group" is a loose term, since there are 2 of us learning how to juggle (me and a guy from... um... eastern europe named Alish. I don't remember which country), the instructor, and two acrobates. The quality is a little poor, but you get the idea. The thing I'm doing is called a Diablo in german, and I don't know what it's called in English. These are the few tricks I can do (exciting huh?) that I've learned, except the last one didn't work very well... anyways.. enjoy!

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The Davinci Code: The Last Supper

2006-07-01T09:19:00.000+02:00

Probably the main theme of the Davinci Code is the idea that Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ were actually married and had a child together. Cli ck here to visit Spark Notes and read a summary of the book, for those of you who haven't read it. In this post I don't want to go into details about whether or not Jesus and Mary were or could have been married, but instead I want to focus on a piece of artwork used in the novel to "prove" that it's true.

This piece of artwork, as many of you already know, is none other than The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. The original painting itself measures 460 Ã 880 cm (15 feet Ã 29 feet) and can be seen in the convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan. Leonardo created the painting over a four year time period (1495 to 1498), although it was not worked on continuously during that time period. Though often referred to as a fresco (and reportedly done so in The Davinci Code itself) the painting was actually created on dry wall, and cannot be called a true fresco. It is due to this fact that the painting has not withstood time very well, and has gone through a variety of renovations since it was completed.

According to the book, the Holy Grail (said to be the chalice/cup that was used for the wine of the last supper) was never really a chalice, but rather a metaphor for a person - Mary Magdalene. Leigh Teabing, the character who explains this in the book, goes on to show that Leonardo da Vinci knew this, and that is why there isn't one chalice in Leonardo's The Last Supper. He goes on to say that not only is there no real chalice/cup, but the person who is really the Holy Grail is in fact in the painting and is sitting to Jesus's right hand. History says that this person is really the apostle John. That however, is not true..According to the book. The book argues that Leonardo da Vinci put hidden symbols in the painting in order to secretly show the world the truth about Jesus and Mary. It is these symbols that I want to look at a little closer. I have included pictures of the painting which will draw your attention to the details I want to focus on, however if you click here you'll find a link to a full screen, high quality version of the painting, which you can zoom in and out of wonderfully. I suggest using it, in order to take a better look at the painting as you read.

One of the first thing that the book points to is the appearance of a "v" which is said to be the symbol of woman or a feminine symbol (I'm not sure the exact term used by the book). It is pointed out that this "v" shape is created in the painting by Jesus and the figure to his right, as seen below.Now, as you can see, this is a legitimate claim. The painting really does form a "v" shape. However, as was pointed out to me in a recent lecture I attended on the topic, that isn't the only "v" found in this painting. Can you see the other one?
See it? Yep.. that's right. There are TWO "v's" in this painting - at least two quite obvious ones. Was Leonardo just making more symbols for women? Could be. But it sort of takes away from the claim that Leonardo was referring to the figure to the right of Jesus as a female based on the fact that he body forms a "v" with Jesus's.

One of the next claims that the book makes is that the figure seems to have a feminine bosom, feminine facial features, and a graceful/womanly posture. Look at the painting closely. Do you see a feminine bosom? If you do.. please let me know: I can't seem to detect one at all. I do admit, however, that the figure has feminine facial features, and probably a womanly posture. The figure is said to be "swooning" by some, and this works. Keep in mind the actual seen being depicted in this painting: Jesus just told the disciples that one of them would betray Him. They're all shocked/angry/upset. It would then be logical to think that the "swooning" being seen here by the figure in question is just a result of the shock that someone will betray Him, this person they had left their lives behind for. Still not convinced? Also keep in mind that the apostle here - John - was the youngest of the apostles and the most devoted to Jusus and was therefore often portrayed as more feminine in nature, in order to distinguish him from the others. Doesn't it at least seem logicalal idea that this figure, who was often more femininely drawn, may then "swoon" when told someone would betray your Teacher?

Okay, but for arguments sake, let's assume that this person is indeed more feminine, for other reasons. Let's not forget the many paintings we have all seen at one time or another in which men were painted feminine. I'm sure you've all seen them in your history classes back in high school, or at an art museum or somewhere. And if that's not enough, take a look at a couple other figures in the painting...
If you ask me, they look every bit as feminine as the figure to Jesus's right. They almost look as if they could have been sisters to the figure on Jesus's right.

Another aspect that I want to touch on from the book is the fact that the figure on Jesus's right is wearing clothes which are an inverse of Jesus. Jesus is wearing a red shirt and blue shawl (may be termed something else, but I don't know the right terminology) while the figure to His right is wearing a blue shirt and a pink/red shawl. This is pointed to, in order to show that they are indeed a pair. However, if we are to take this as true, it would mean that the same figures I pointed to above would also have to be pairs to Jesus - they also are wearing inverses of Jesus's clothing! The one the right is easy to see, pink/red shawl and blue shirt. The one on the left is harder to see, but if you look closely at his arm, you see a bit of blue fabric, which points to the concept of a blue shirt, and a red shawl. Do you see it? Granted, Jesus and the figure's clothing are more obvious, because the clothes are nearly identical looking, except in color... however if you are going to use the color as a reason you have to include the other figures who also have inverse colors of Jesus.

And last but not least... The figure on the right of Jesus and Jesus seem to form the letter "m" to mean "matrimony" or "Mary" however, I find this conclusion a little funny. It is so easy to find something when you are indeed looking for it. And, even if Leonardo meant for it to be an "m", that means nothing. After all, "m" could also stand for Mindy or Maryland or marshmallow.

There are other arguments as well. There's the fact that all the names of the figures in the paintings were written out by Leonardo himself and is agreed on by art historians. If it was Mary, why wouldn't he tell us? And, where was the other disciple? After all, if Mary took the place of one of the disciples, we're one person short in the painting. Where did the other one go? Someone would have noticed, and said something. There has been reports of a "floating" hand with a knife, which seems to belong to no one, but it actually does belong to a figure that we see, it simply is an uncomfortable position. If you can't find it/see it in the picture, let me know and I'll post a picture pointing to it. As you look to the left side of the table, you should see it.

To sum it up, I don't personally believe that Leonardo painted Mary in his depiction of the Last Supper. Leonardo chose realistictc approach to the painting of the scene..Therere wasn't one large chalice drawn, because realistically they probably didn't actually have one large chalice, and if they did it wouldn't have been the gold/diamond encrusted one that we all generally picture. And if Leonardo really did paint Mary, and if he really believed they were married and had a child, it doesn't prove anything, besides one person's thoughts/beliefs/ideas. It's important to look at the historical facts and contexts of thing, before we just blindly believe them. The same goes for this little (big) article, don't believe me: go find out for yourself. I merely have compiled several different arguments and ideas that I have come across lately into one article on the topic. The links are below, go check them out yourselves. Go to the library, check out books on the topics. And, leave me a comment, let me know what you think! :)

Resources:

The follwing resources were used in this article. I tried not plagiarize anyone, merely to put all the info I have found/heard into one place. Please, go check out the sites!

1. A lecture on The Davinci Code and the Bible, by a visitor professor for biblical studies from the University in Munich.
2. Wikipedia article on "The Last Supper". Website: click here.
3. A website on the Davinci Code. Website: click here.

Unfortunately I do not have the time to devote to this as I would like. I would love to do a full blown research paper complete with books by various experts who talk on both sides of the issue and everything.. however I simply do not have the time right now. That is why I stress, please don't believe me... go find out for yourself. I simply feel as though I should share some of what I have learned. I don't know how many of you have wondered if what Dan Brown says is really true.. I know I did until recently. Anyways, there will be more in this series, let me know if there are any specific topics that interest you all!

It's Official

2006-06-30T20:25:00.000+02:00

It's official. Germany is in the "Halbfinale" (aka the semifinals) for the World Cup. We beat Argentina, who was the favorite for the World Cup... YAY!

I'm super excited. Now all the people around here are going crazy. Horns honking, cheering... it's really crazy (still). The other days I thought it was funny, but today I have a headache and I just want to quietly work on my computer and watch TV.

They're not helping.

I mean, I know it's great guys.. but please, could you just party a little quieter?

The Davinci Code: Fact vs Fiction

2006-06-30T08:29:00.000+02:00

I'm sure that many of you have either read or seen The Davinci Code (Sakrileg auf Deutsch), and have at least in part been intrieged by the "facts" as they are presented in Dan Brown's work. As I have recently both attended a lecture held by someone who has a doctorate and researches the manuscripts of the Bible, have read another book relating to information, and have found some stuff online, I thought I would provide to you guys some of the information I have found as it relates to the book.

This information will be done in parts, focusing on specific things from the book and the world. Unfortunately my time is up and I have to be getting to the park, but I will be posting the first installment either later today or tomorrow, so keep an eye open!

Story Time

2006-06-29T09:35:00.000+02:00

Story time! Gather round kids (aka adults), pull up a chair and listen!

"I want you to imagine that you are a member of the Caribean indian tribe Taino, just shortly before Colombus "discovered" America. You have tanned skin, with huge almond shaped eyes. Your society is quite succesful, and you couldn't be happier. Your society are great hunters, fishers, navigators, sailors and even have invented the hamock, which you use to sleep in on a regular basis.

Suddenly one day, there are large objects on the horizon, which you've never seen before. It doesn't belong to any of the other indian tribes which you have traded with or fought against, and it doesn't look anything like a canoe, which you usually use to travel and trade with other peoples. Eventually, they get to land, and you realize that they are boats full of people who don't speak your language, don't know your religion and look much different than you. Your scared, but you all agree to help set up the first outpost, which is left behind with between 30 and 40 men. After the rest of the new people leave your island, there is rumor that the new men have tried to take advantage of your women, and your an angry group of people. A part of the society goes and attacks the men, killing each of them. You hope its over, and your life can go back to normal again.

Some time later, however, the other men return and are angered at the Taino for killing their men. You feel it was justified, after all - the men came, invaded your land, and ravaged your women... what were you all supposed to do? The new men set up a new colony, and left more men behind. Then more came. These new men want you to start paying them a tribute, to worship their God, and to convert to their way of life. You are shocked and hurt and scared, because once again your little world which has been around for more than 2000 years is being messed up by these men who expect to have everything their way.

Before you know it, your friends and family are getting sick and dying, from diseases you've never seen before (diseases brought by those new men). The healthy are being forced to work for the new men, in horrible working conditions which are unbearable and often bring them to their deaths. Those who survive are in despair, and many take their lives or flee, just hoping to get away. The rest of the healthy people who are still there are angered, and attempt various different attacks on the new men, only to be beaten miserabley. Things are so bad, that soon there isn't any one left... and you seem to be one of the last of a dying race of people... "

This is a story, based on the facts of the Taino Indians, a tribe who lived from roughly 1000 BC to 1500 AD in the Caribean. The spanierds came to the islands in 1508 and set up colonies. By the early 1520s, the indians were all but non existant. In 1508 their society had roughly 60,000 members. Only a few decades later (I believee 1544) there were 60 people left. 60. The indians died from disease, mistreatment, suicide, and failed uprisings against the spanierds. Those who didn't die, left. Its a sad story really... imagine your life right now. Now imagine people suddenly coming and ripping it all away from you. That's what they (and many other native americans) went through when the Europeans founded the new world. No doubt, the spanierds thought they were doing what was best at the time - who knows, maybe I'd have done the same thing had I been in their shoes - but it's still a sad story...

Flashback: Paris

2006-06-26T08:45:00.000+02:00

So, lately I've been seeing bloggers all over, who have been creating videos with (mostly, I think) they're digital cameras and then turning them into videos which they post on their blog. I think this is a wonderful idea, and this morning I very simply found a site to do it from, uploaded a video and decided to put it on my blog. So, here it is. Click on play. It isn't very long. It is video from us driving in the Arc de Triumph in Paris back when my dad and step-mom were here. It is a circle thing (popular in Germany and France, if not all of Europe) where 12 roads come into it. You drive around it and chose the road you want. Listen and you'll here me freaking out, and Bev laughing, and me trying to count the roads so that we take the right one. Enjoy! :)

P.S. I definitely think I might start taking more videos.

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Stuff

2006-06-25T10:30:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. Here's a couple of updates and things:

1. Germany won their round two game of the World Cup! 2-0 against Sweden! WOOO! On to round three! As the crazy German fans would sing: "Wir fahren nach Berlin! Wir fahren nach Berlin!" (translated: "We're going to Berlin! We're going to Berlin!" because the next games are in Berlin).

2. During my preliminary research at the zoo, Quenta (female) mated with Pesco (silver back). Yesterday (in my second week) Ruya (other female) mated with Pesco. It's just a matin' community. geez. Actually, it's exciting. It'd be great for the zoo and gorillas in general if one (or both) of the girls got pregnant.

3. I found librarything.com and have added a blurb on my side bar about my random books. For those of you who don't know librarything.com, it is a sight (free) for people who love to read. You type in a book you've read or are reading, and it gets added to a virtual library, where you can rate it, recommend it, review it, and find other people who've also read it. It seems like a great sight, and they have pretty much any book you could thing of. Not only can you keep your library, but they'll also give you suggestions for other books you may like. A top sight. Go check it out.

4. We got our tickets for Mallorca (a spanish island where Fabian's grandma lives). We will be there from July 21st until August 7th of this year! WOOOOOOOOO! I can't wait. :)

Frustration

2006-06-21T07:58:00.000+02:00

So, I'm frustrated. You see, Mindy made the mistake of procrastinating on her Senior Project (the Gorilla thing) and she is now paying for it. Mindy came up with the Gorilla idea quite a while ago (at least a couple months) and e-mailed three different people at NDSU to check with them to make sure that her topic is international enough, since it is for the International Studies Major. The project has to have both an international focus, and be scientific for my zoology major: tough. So, I wasn't receiving any reply from anyone, and by this time had already completed my backround research on the topic. I had to make a decision: I didn't have a choice. So, I went ahead with my research, hoping it was international enough.

Well, today I finally got an e-mail from someone at NDSU back. Finally. And do you know what he said? My project ISN'T INTERNATIONAL ENOUGH! grr.. okay, well I was afraid that would happen. And I'm not mad at him or at anyone. My problem is now that I have to someone put more of an international spin on it. So, I asked him if I could do the same study at a zoo in the states, and then compare my results - if that would be international enough. So, we'll see what he says. I hope so, cause that would be okay. It would be just kind of sad though, because I was so happy to know that I'd be done researching in 3 weeks (more like 2.5 weeks) and then could just relax, and when I get home at NDSU get the paper written up and completed next fall/spring. I was so happy to have plenty of time to just slowly get it down and not get all stressed out about it. But... if I have to do the same study at another zoo in the states, that means I will have to wait until next summer at the same time of year to do the study more than likely (otherwise time of year will screw up the results since gorillas could behave differently in winter say than they do in summer), which means I would have to wait to write the majority of the paper, which would be frustrating. Either that or I have to come up with another way to put an international spin on it, which I don't know as of yet.

And, due to the time I have left in Germany, I don't have time to come up with a whole new project, plan it, and research it all before I go to Mallorca. And I am going to Mallorca, no matter what.

So, I'm not mad, just a little frustrated. And it's no ones fault but my own, really. I should have had the research down months ago.

So... It's been a while

2006-06-18T08:28:00.000+02:00

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long since my last update, things here have been busy busy busy... and the blog just gets lost in the mess of busyness...

This past week has been good. I started my research at the zoo, today will be my fourth research day of the week. After today, week 1 of research is completed; it's a good feeling. The research is going good overall. Not too much to report yet.

We've found some cheap tickets to Mallorca (spanish island) where we will be spending 18 wonderful days after the semester is over. In a way, I can't wait. Right now I'm so busy. If I'm not doing homework or researching, I'm procrastinating doing homework I know I should be doing. In the last week of the Uni I will have 5 tests to take, so yeah. It's a decent amount of things to do. So, when it's all over and we go to Mallorca, I will really get some time to just relax, without research or homework looming over my head. Of course, by that time I'll be going to the States again in 3 weeks, so leaving Germany and especially Fabian will be looming over my head instead... so yeah.. it's mixed feelings... excited to go to the island, be relaxed, and meet Fabian's Grandma... and dreading it because it means that I'm going home soon.

So, that's all from me for now. :) Happy Father's Day Everyone! (specifically Daddy and Jim and Grandpa!)

WM

2006-06-09T20:16:00.000+02:00

WM= Welt Mesiterschaft = World Cup of Soccer... and it's here in Germany this year.

Now, to give you all a little background on the popularity of this event, let's just say that for the past 6 months (or more) EVERY COMMERCIAL has had SOMETHING to do with soccer. Even for products that you wouldn't think would be possible to get a soccer spin on it.

Well today, Germany played it's first game against Costa Rica and won (!!!) 4 to 2. This is great! :) Now, the funny thing is that I can here all these cars honking in joy, and people down on the street screaming, chanting "Deutschland! Deutschland!" (Germany! Germany!) together and all in all just acting loud and crazy.

I can only imagine what will happen if Germany wins the World Cup.

There aren't enough..

2006-06-07T07:28:00.000+02:00

There aren't enough hours in my day. seriously. there should be more hours in the day. apparantly i stopped capatalizing any words... so, yeah. i'm really tired cause Fabian's friends came over last night and we were all up until 2 in the morning, and now I have class at 8:45, and NDSU finally sent me my journal articles that I needed, and I need to read them, and research and do all sorts of things....

i just wish there were more hours in the day to do it all in. oh well. :)

P.S. In case your wondering, no I'm not stressed actually. Just tired, a little loopy and accepting the knowledge that during my research for the next 3-5 weeks (depending on how long I research) I will have very little free time, and what free time I do have will be spent doing homework for my classes. FUN FUN!

Preliminary Observation, Day 1

2006-06-05T13:22:00.000+02:00

well, today I started my preliminary observations, which I am planning to last a week. During this time, I will be observing both zoo visitors and the gorillas in order to narrow down my research topic, define specific visitor/animal behaviors, start setting up a control behavior definition (so that I have something to compare to) and just other general things like that...

Today went pretty well, for a first day. I was able to write out a whole list of behaviors from the gorillas, and several from several guests as well. I was also able to get an idea for how the gorillas behave when only I am around, as compared to when guests are around. I've learned too, that observing 3 Gorillas, and the guests that are at the exhibit all at the same time is difficult, and will be working on a way to remedy that problem. Unfortunately, the zoo isn't big enough/popular enough to make it 100% possible for me to do scan sampling. Scan sampling is when the observer scans the behavior of all animals/guests every say, 5 minutes. This helps the observer get more random data, as compared to just writing everything down or the interesting things down. It also helps the observer focus a bit, as constant observing/writing is difficult. Anyways, I still have some kinks to work out, which is what I'll be doing over this next week at the zoo. Here's my reseach time period plan for this week:

Monday: 9-11:30
Tuesday: at home research
Wednesday: 11-2 or 3:00
Thursday: at home research
Friday: At Bird Park
Saturday: 12/1 - 6
Sunday: 12/1 - 6

Sat. and Sun. times will probably be shortened... while researching is fun, I don't think I'll last 6 hours. But we'll see where I am as those days get closer. Sat. and Sun. however are the most important days, as those are the days when the most people will be around. Overall I may not stick to so many hours as I have written down here each week, but since this is "working-out-the-kinks" week, I need lots of hours to work out my kinks. Anyways, just thought I'd let everyone know what the deal was. Oh! And I found out that I may only have to do this one research project for my Diploma, as compared to two like I thought. I'm not sure though at all... so we'll see. But if I only had to do this one, that'd be great. But if not, then that's okay too.

I have a website

2006-06-05T07:39:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. Yesterday morning, I was trying to share my pictures of what my scrapbook that I'm creating for the year looks like, but I kept having troubles, so I just made a website for it. The website is really simple, but it's something and this way I can share my scrapbook (which I'm proud of so far). For those of you who are interested, click here and check it out. There's the front page, a photo center, a forum, another online journal, and a guestbook. Check back occasionally, because it will be updated from time to time to show what's new. :)

Enjoy!

2006-06-02T18:56:00.001+02:00

can... no longer... think... have spent... last three... hours... researching... all words... just... start to... run together... in... my head...gorillas... visitors.. behavior... analysis methods... sampling methods.. time of day..ethogram...must... must....do..something...else... someone.. please... save me...

2006-06-02T18:56:00.000+02:00

So... This is Boring

2006-06-02T17:30:00.000+02:00

During my freshman year of college** I got a work-study job as a "researcher" in a lab on campus. My job was to come in, and spend my work hours on a computer searching for and requesting scholarly journal articles for their research work in the lab. Half way through the year I quite because I was bored out of my mind, had no set hours to work and therefore hardly worked. Then I worked at Sears, which while still very boring at times, at least had specific work hours.

So how does this apply to today? Today I have been searching for scholarly journal articles and requesting them as well for my research project. I had forgotten HOW BORING it is to do. It's particularly boring, when you look through a list of articles from another source, then go searching for them to see if you can get them online, only to learn that you can't, and then have to go to your school's specific page to request it in print.... and this process just keeps getting repeated over and over and over. I had forgotten how much I hated this process.

On the bright side, this morning I got several pages of my scrap book for the year done. yay! :)

Now if only I could work on my scrap book instead of doing this. bah.

p.s. for those who are intrested, my preliminary research at the zoo will be starting up this next week. That means Monday mornings/wednesday middays/sat and/or sun evenings at the zoo. :)

** hee hee.. the fact that I can say, "during my freshman year of college" is cool. Did you guys know, that I'm going to graduate college one day (dec. 2007)?

Bird Park Pics

2006-05-29T07:34:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. Well, I finally got some pictures from the bird park. The pics were taken from a guest who visited us during a morning show over a week ago now. Here I am on the left with Flo, one of our resident Eurasien Eagle Owl, which in German is called "Uhu". The Uhu is the largest owl in Europe, and one of the largest in the world. At 3.2 kg (7.05 lbs) she isn't too light. Her unmistakeable "horns" are a trademark to her species. You'll notice her special build: her eyes cannot move, she has to move her full head in order to look around, which she can move 270 degrees; also, her thick body build... she is actually (like other owls) not related to the other raptors... We don't fly Flo at the park, since she is a night owl and is built the way she is, it is quite dangerous for her to fly during the day due to the resident birds of prey of the area, who aren't owned by the park. She has nothing against them during the day, but at night she is a formidable opponent and hunter, and at nigh she is left alone. Flo is used by us twice a day however, as she is very sweet and loving. The visitors are allowed to pet her, and the workers/volunteers can pretty much cuddle with her, and she'll just lovingly "nibble" on our fingers with her beak.

Here is a picture of the first bird who we take out in the morning, Paulchen (pronounced P-owl-shen). Just for you Paul, "Paulchen" is your name, only the cute version. "chen" is used at the end of words to signify something cute or also as a nickname to. Anyways, Paulchen is a Harris Hawk who is the one of the only raptor species who actually lives in swarms. Most raptors live alone. Since he lives naturally in a swarm, but was raised by the owners of the park (particularly Wolfgang, who is with him in this picture) he views the owners as his "swarm" and therefore will not leave the area of the park. When going on a walk or driving in a car, the Hawk will follow along right behind. That isn't to say, however that Paulchen is all that nice when it comes to his food. When there's food in the mix, Paulchen is quite protective, as he would be in the wild. As soon as the food is gone again though, he's as nice as can be.

Here is our Peregrine Falcon, Luka. Luka is a beautiful bird, who I know nothing about... and therefore can't tell you too much about him. Somehow a lot of information about our owl, Paulchen, our eagles, our smaller falcons... but information about Luka hasn't quite stuck yet... sorry.

I can take this time to explain a bit about the park though. The park is currently in it's third year of operation and is located in a mountainous region just north west of Saarbruecken. The shows take place on the side of a mountian, while the entrace to the park is in the valley. There are two shows a day, one at 11 and one at 3 and the birds are very used to this schedule. There are 15 different birds at the park including falcons, bald eagles, owls (including a snow owl and a baby owl), and a variety of hawks. The birds are housed on the mountain where our shows take place. Along with the birds there are also raccoons (and babys), ferrets (and babys), pigeons (and babys), bunnies (and babys), 2 donkeys, 1 pony, and a three pigs. To read about a typical day at the park (at least my typical day) click here.

Here is my last picture of me with our 3 year old Bald Eagle, Phoenix. Bald Eagles are not fully grown until 5 years of age, which is why Phoenix is still a bit smaller and without the typical white head, that we know them for. Still, by a "bit smaller" a mean only a bit: phoenix weighs 3.2 kg (around 7 lbs) and has a wing span of 180 cm (nearly 6 feet), which is 10 cm more than me. When he's flying, it's easy to forget how huge he is, but with him right next to me, it's easy to see. Just compare his body to the size of me, from my shoulders to my waist. He's at least that big, plus his wings are HUGE! This is actually a rare occurance for me. Since the birds are on a schedule, it's difficult to train me extra with the birds, and since there are usually a lot of people at our shows, it's hard to take the time out to train me on the birds during it. Since I'm new, the birds react differently around me. They'll still fly to me, land, eat the food, but then they'll try to steal the glove from me as they fly away, which makes my role a bit more difficult. Plus I'm new, so I'm all worried about just doing the basic things right, and the eagles are heavy when you try to lift them up to "throw" them so they'll fly away. Anyways, it is a great experience (though you can tell in this pic that I'm struggling a bit). We also have a 2 year old Bald Eagle, who we call Tago. He is a bit smaller than Phoenix, but still just as beautiful. These two are definitely a highlight of the show.

Well, hope you guys enjoyed it. As I get more pics, I'll put more up. Including someitme soon a "babys" post, where you can see pics of all our resident babies... they are totally cute. :)

Life Is

2006-05-28T15:56:00.000+02:00

Life is reading a good read obsessively, even if the rest of the world thinks your crazy. Life is spending all your time researching a project, and finally starting to see it come together. Life is spending your day cleaning and finally reaping the rewards. Life is going through that pile of papers that you've been meaning to sort through for months now. Life is boxing up a box of books to ship home, so that you have one less thing to bring back with you in August. Life is listening to a CD you've heard a million times, and tearing up at the one song you've always teared up at. Life is having friends and family to miss. Life is an evening spent in the same room with your loved ones, even though you are doing two separate things. Life is getting two more pages done in your scrap book, even though the thing should have been half done by now. Life is putting up with super dry skin ever since that stupid allergic rash took over your body (and is now gone). Life is having someone with you, who you can annoy. Life is having too much stuff in too little space. Life is having a set of websites and e-mails that you try to check everyday, even though nothing has changed on them. Life is like a box of chocolates. Life is not remembering a word in English or German or both. Life is being able to hop online real quick. Life is good.

:) Did you catch the Forest Gump reference?

Senior What?

2006-05-25T11:36:00.000+02:00

It's begun.

And it's already so much work it's making my head spin.

What's so much work you ask? That's easy; my senior thesis.

A senior thesis is a research project that I have to research, plan, conduct, analyse, and report. The report is the biggest part, as it is a 40-50 page paper reporting everything I did and what analysis I came up with.

My topic:

The Effect of Visitor Behavior on Captive Lowland Gorillas (Gorilla gorilla gorilla)

Exciting huh?

I will be conducting research at the Zoo in Saarbruecken, where I already got the a-okay to do the research. For the past several weeks I have been slowly collecting general Gorilla information at the public library here in Saarbruecken, but as the process is slow (and I don't have 100 years to complete it in) I need to step up my time spent doing my preliminary research, or else I won't get to the zoo ever. I'm hoping to start my research in the middle of June, at the VERY LATEST... and I'm way behind. I'll get it done, I'm not worried.

It's just so much work.

And the best part? I get to do a second research project for my Zoology Major. This research project is only for my International Studies Major.

Fun. Fun.

Updates

2006-05-23T08:47:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. I know I haven't been updating regularly, but to be honest there hasn't been too much to update.

Fabian has been working tons, about 80 hours per week for 2 weeks, but now he is back to his normal schedule, which is nice. I've still been just going to classes and working on my massive to do list of things to do. This list includes things like homework, and researching for my senior project and everything. My days are actually quite full. On top of that, I am currently addicted to reading Gilmore Girls transcripts of the episodes, because I can't afford to just go out and buy all the seasons on DVD like I would do in a perfect world.

Last night we went and saw The Davinci Code, in English. It was good. I've read the book so there wasn't any suspense there, and I felt that the information they gave (which is important to the book) was better presented and more understandable in the book. Also, I felt that the acting was bad, to be honest. Okay, well, I found that the girl who played Sophie Niveau did bad acting. It just seemed really fake. So I'm a bit dissapointed. Just a note to everyone: I don't believe in what they said in the book/movie... but it was a good cliff hanger, I have to give Dan Brown the credit for that.

Well, that's about it. Sorry my life isn't anymore interesting right now. :)

Once Upon A Time

2006-05-16T10:46:00.000+02:00

Once upon a time there was a balcony. Now, on this balcony were several empty pots, which made a great home for two pretty pigeons. They lived there for many months, content as could be. Flying away when anyone came nearby, but flying back as soon as the coast was clear.

One day, the owner's of the balcony went on a trip and the door to the balcony accidently didn't get latched and blew open. No one was home for days, and upon coming home a pigeon was found living in the office inside the apartment. It had lived there for several days, not knowing how to get back outside, leaving it's feces over everything. The owners were surprised, put a towel over the pigeon and set it back on the balcony.

A while later the pigeon was still there, and the owners realized it's wing was probably broken. Plans were made to take it to a bird park the next day, but a few hours later the wing was healed (by God) and the bird flew off. A happy miracle.

Well, the owners assumed the bird would stay away. But nope - he came back. There used to be two pigeons, but now there was only one (the same from living inside) who still seemed content as could be. Then, one owner got an idea.

So, shopping two of the people went, to get plants to plant in all those empty pots. "HA!" thought Ellen, "Watch those pigeons come back now!" Soon, the balcony was overflowing with pretty plants, leaving no place for the pigeons to roost.

It took a few days, but sure enough, a few days later, the pigeon was back. And he wsn't alone - now there were two, once again. Still roosting, happy as can be.

** This is a true story! We have two pigeons who love our balcony so much that they won't go away! I find it cute, but Ellen finds it not so cute. And it's incredibly funny.

I'm in Debt

2006-05-11T16:15:00.000+02:00

So I looked online to see how much all of my loans for NDSU added up to so far in the last three years of college... are you ready for the total:

20,000 United States Dollars

College is expensive. Though at the private school my friend goes to, that amount of money is the tuition for ONE SEMESTER!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, it could be much worse. But it's sad to already be in debt. Thankfully I only have three more semesters left.

Oh, and why did I choose to share this with you all? Cause my life is an open book. And I wanted to share with someone - so I chose all of you!

And mom - FINISH THE FAFSA SO I CAN GET MORE IN DEBT PLEASE!!!!!!! and so that I can SOMEHOW be able to pay tuition in the fall. Thank you. Have a nice day. :)

P.S. I'm still itchy.

Life Is Not Cool

2006-05-10T19:39:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone. I know it's been a few days since I posted, so I apologize. I actually wasn't going to share what I'm about to share, but it is driving me crazy so much, that I am going to share anyways.

I contracted a urinary tract infection. So I went to the doc, a different one than normal. I just forgot to mention the fact that I was allergic to sulfa, because I was sooooo busy concentrating on just being understood. And guess who didn't ask me if I had any allergies? The doctor. Well guess what they use to treat urinary tract infections - SULFA DRUGS! So guess who got a sulfa medicine, took it for three days, and then wondered why she had a rash all over her body (we're talking knees to head hear) - yep - ME! woo. hoo.

So now I am being driven crazy by little tiny red bumps all over. The worst part is that they itch like crazy. I have never been so itchy. It itches so much it hurts. I can't even concentrate because of it. I bought anti-itch stuff for it, however so far it doesn't seem to be helping. Believe it or not, I showed it to my doc (it covers my body pretty much from hips to neck; you literally see hardly any normal skin there) who didn't give me any prescriptions against it. So, if this anti-itch stuff doesn't start working, I'm going to have to go find a skin doc to give me something. I'm literally crazy because of it.

Oh, yeah - the UTI is gone, that's no problem. Those symptoms were already gone the first day of the meds. Now I just have to deal with the repurcusions of the medicine. I read online it takes at least a week to go away, after stopping the medicine. Ladies and Gentlemen, that means sometime middle of next week I might get some relief.

K. No one worry about me, I swear I'm fine. The rash will go away on it's own, it's just a matter of time; thankfully I don't have a super severe reaction (like hives covering my body). However, if I don't post often it is because I am busy staying occupied, in order to hopefully get my mind off of the itching.

P.S. Sorry if this was too much information.

Adjusted

2006-05-08T20:24:00.000+02:00

Main Entry: ad·just·ed
Function: adjective
1 : accommodated to suit a particular set of circumstances or requirements
2 : having achieved an often specified and usually harmonious relationship with the environment or with other individuals adjusted schoolchild

So would one consider it being adjusted, if one can go about ones normal day and just happen to run into about 2 - 5 random people that one knows over the course of a week? Cause I've just realized that I randomly run into people that I know (not friends - acquantences) on a pretty regular basis. I did it again tonight, and I guess I just realized something: I'm adjusted.

Aww, the joys of "summer"

2006-05-05T11:50:00.000+02:00

Summer, or at least really nice weather in May, is a wonderful thing. Guess where I am sitting! On our balcony, wearing my capris, a tank top and NO SOCKS, enjoying the beautiful day and the ability to surf the net while sitting outside (because our cord reaches so long). It's wonderful.

Now the only problem is resituating things, so my computer doesn't sit in the sunlight, which I'm assuming is probably not a good idea.

Oh, and in case you're wonderfing, I decided not to go to the bird park today, as sad as that is. I can hardly talk and am not sure how contagious I am or am not. So, I decided staying home today is best.

crazy sickness

2006-05-05T06:38:00.000+02:00

So, remember my miserable post? (scroll down a little, you'll see it) Well, I'm not miserable anymore, but still sick. This is the craziest sickness I've ever had. Here's how it's worked:

29. April - Sat: Throat is a little sore. I don't think too much of it besides, "Gee, hope I don't get sick."
30. April - Sun: Throat is only a little sore still, but gets a little worse. Now I think, "Really hope I don't get sick."
1. May - Mon: Throat even worse. We go visit a couple of friends of Fabian today (who I get along with really well). Around 1 pm it all hits me at once - headache, sore throat (even worse), small fever, etc etc. I feel miserable.
2. May - Tues: Morning still feeling miserable enough. Afternoon is a bit better. I went to the doctor because I didn't go to class due to the sickness and here you ALWAYS have to have a doctors note almost. Doc gave me some general pills. I start taking them.
3. May - Wed: I wake up without so much of a sore throat, but now with just a headache, and plugged up nose. I decide my sickness has morphed into a headcold.
4. May - Thurs: I get excited, because unlike Wednesday, when I blow my nose now stuff comes out. Around 2-ish I notice that I'm starting to lose my voice, but at least feel just fine anyways. By the end of the day my nose isn't even stuffy. But my voice...Oh great.
5. May - Fri: I wake up today with my voice almost completely gone (I can only whisper), a plugged up nose again, I'm coughing, and my throat is slightly sore.

So, there you have it. Crazy. And annoying, because today is my day to go to the bird park. But, I can't really talk, which wouldn't be too much of a problem in itself, but I also am coughing and am plugged up - I probably just have a cold or something, but I'm thinking maybe I should wait and go on Sat or Sun, because I don't want to get anyone sick. And maybe working all day outside, cleaning cages and stuff isn't a good idea right now. But I'm not sure. I want to go! I'd call them and talk it over with them, but I'm not sure they'll be able to hear me on the phone. I can only whisper.

Oh, and I forgot: I got Fabian sick too. He's starting to lose his voice as well. Which is VERY BAD because he is scheduled to have an operation next Thursday to fix his nose (they found out that he has a "crooked" bone inside his nose, which is why his nose is always plugged up. so they're going to fix it for him). But, he'll be having no surgery if he's sick. Since the meds I had were just basic cold meds I broke the "Don't give your prescription to anyone" rule and gave it to him. It's more important that he is healthy. I feel good overall: mainly just my voice, and this coughing. And now my knee has been randomly hurting this week too. Bah.

I've Given In

2006-05-03T08:10:00.000+02:00

I've given in. I wake up every morning with Fabian at 6 ish... he gets out of bed at 6:30, and I snooze until around 7. Before I'd go back to sleep and wake up at 9:30 exhausted...

but now I've given in, and I just get up around 7 or 8 (depending on the day) and it feels great.

This morning I looked at my clock and thought,

"It's only 8? Gosh it feels like it should be at least 10!"

I've given in, and it's a great feeling.

p.s. I still sleep in on the weekends... sometimes till 9 even! :) Guess I'm a morning person.

un-miserable

2006-05-02T20:03:00.000+02:00

After a more or less miserable day, do you know what makes it better?

Laying around and reading script after script of Gilmore Girls the TV Show.

Why?

Because I bought Season 1, and have been dying to get Season 2 but I can't afford it for at least several weeks.

So, now I'm reading Season 2... and it's just making me giggle.

miserable.

2006-05-02T12:17:00.000+02:00

once again, yours truly is a bit sick. see, I never get sick sick, just miserable sick. What is miserable sick you ask?

headache
sore throat
eye lids which feel heavy and hot
body temperature which fluctuates too much (i.e. 1 minute i'm cold, the next i'm hot)
no energy
body feels sluggish
very low grade to no fever
lack of thirst
lack of appetite

yep - that describes it. I'm not sick sick.. just miserable sick. I can still function (though I'm not babysitting tonight) but it's not any fun. If I get sick, this is usually the way i get sick. I hardly ever get really sick, just miserable. it stinks. I wish i would just get really really sick for like a day or two, and then be healthy again, instead of this which usually lingers for several days (about a week usually). It starts with a sore throat for a few days, then the rest just hits all at once... unfortunately for me it all just hit yesterday, while we were hanging out with Jonny and Judith, two friends of ours. :(

Hopefully I'll be better soon. I've already prayed about it - now it's just up to God when He wants to heal me. Off I go to gather the energy to eat some food, print off my homework and get to class for 2 hours. Boy oh boy I can't wait to sit and listen to Music History for two hours like this (please note sarcasm).

Someday

2006-05-01T08:47:00.000+02:00

Someday I want to live somewhere where I can see the big blue ocean every day, where I can see mountains when I look off in the distance, and in a little neighborhood someplace where my kids can play in the yard and go to their friends' houses as often as they like. I want to live near a big city where I can travel to take in concerts, theaters, go shopping, and eat at great restaurants - and I hope this city has an IKEA so that I can decorate my house with IKEA things. A city which also has great things for kids - like a museum just for kids, and an aquarium where they can gasp in awe at all the fish. I want my kids to grow up with the best of both worlds - I want them to have tons of common sense and street smarts (not the bad kind though) and to be able to do well in school without too much effort. I want them to grow up with the love of animals in their hearts as well as the love of God and a compassion for all things living. I want to have a fish tank with at least two fan-tailed gold fish (seriously - they are soooo pretty), and I want to always find time to be learning something... even if that just means keeping up on new research in the animal world. I want to learn to scuba dive, and travel all around the world. I want to teach my kids German. I want to go through really great times but I also want to go through really bad times, because from the bad times you learn to grow. When I'm old I want to be able to remember the person I was when I began my journey called life with a smile, and I want to be able to be truly happy with the person I've become. I want to be a great wife, and a great mom...faithful to God and close to my family. I don't want to be always happy, because I know that no one is always happy and I don't want to always be content, because being content all the time doesn't challenge you to grow and change... I want to be ______ , because there isn't a word to describe what I want in my life. I want it all - happiness, sadness, frustration, joy, anger, hope, love, peace... yep, I want it all.

Hausaufgaben

2006-04-30T16:40:00.000+02:00

Hausaufgabe macht kein spass.

Will jemand meine Hausaufgaben machen?

Bitte?

(translated: homework isn't any fun. Does anyone else want to do it? Please?)

I miss thunderstorms.

Gorillas

2006-04-27T17:18:00.000+02:00

Two days, 6+ hours of online researching and much thinking later, I have come to a conclusion on my looming research project which needs to be researched over here in Germany:

I have decided to conduct research on captive Lowland Gorrillas, either comparing their captive behavior to that of wild populations OR comparing the behavior of different (completely separate) groups of captive gorillas.

Now you may be asking a few questions. First - how the did I go from Elephants to Gorillas? Easy, because there have been a few groups of animals that I am most interested in: Primates, Elephants, and Reptiles (primarily snakes). Also, because though Elephants are awesome, and I would love to work with them or do research on them someday, right now it is a little unrealistic. In order to research elephants in a zoo here, I'd have to travel - at least to Neunkirchen (which would be free but a little bit of a ride) everyday for observations - while there is a small Gorilla group right here in the Saarbruecken Zoo. I've been to the zoo, and I've seen their enclosure. I know it would be an ideal location for me to spend at least a few hours doing observations, where there wouldn't be too many visitors obstructing the view, and that the Gorilla's are easily distinguishable from one another (as there are only three). Also, because I can hop on a bus (or even walk) and be at the zoo within 30 minutes from home, it is very convienant, and cheap.

So, this is my preliminary idea. I'm excited, it's just a matter of working out the details, getting my advisor's opinion on the topic, and finding out information from the Zoo, to see if they would let me do it (and hopefully help me by giving me information/interviews/etc). If they say No, then I will have to find something else - and will more than likely then be doing research on Elephants at the Neunkirchen Zoo - at least that is my backup plan for now.

My Goal:
Have topic chosen by the end of this week.
Have details worked out by next week, along with starting to contact the zoo to find out their
requirements.
Start conducting research by June 1.

bah, this is going to be loads of work. :) but I wouldn't mind sitting around observing Apes for a while. it'd be fun.

Not Enough Hours

2006-04-26T15:08:00.000+02:00

So there aren't enough hours in the day.

I need to

1. Keep up on classes
2. Go to classes
3. Come up with an entire research project.
4. Research entire research project on very limited budget.
5. Volunteer.
6. Work out. *
7. Babysit.
8. Relax.
9. Spend time with the boyfriend.
10. Spend time with God.
11. Read Harry Potter 3.
12. Get pictures for my scrap book picked out, printed off and start scrap book.
13. Spend time with friends.
14. Practice juggling.**
15. Spend time outside in beautful weather.

Yep. That's a lot. At least I don't have to do all that AND hold down a full time job. And by the way - nothing was in any specific order. Just as they came to me.

* I took a fitness-gymanistic course on Monday. It's like aerobics, and yoga, and pilates all thrown together and was a blast! But my legs are so sore I walk like a very pregnant woman. I'm not pregnant though. And tonight I have Aerobics. I'm hoping it'll help my legs.
** I learned to juggle yesterday! :) I started a juggling club at the University. I can officially juggle three balls about four times until I drop one. So it still needs LOTS of work. But considering I just learned yesterday, I'm proud of myself.

2006-04-23T09:53:00.000+02:00

Off to sigh seeing we went. Our first stop was Sacre-Coure, a famous cathedral at the top of a huge hill in Paris. The first thing we had to do to get there was climb up an unbelievable amount of steps and get past the seemingly thousands of men trying to sell us bracelets. We told them all no repeatedly, but they were still insistant (though we walked past them and never stopped). One even grabbed my wrist in order to stop us. I pulled away and kept going. It was all worth it though, because once we got to the top we were rewarded with these two views:

The top one is Sacre-Coure.. beautiful isn't it? Other than the church itself, the best thing about this spot is that at least 50% of the people who were there relaxing on the grass or steps (way more than are shown here) were Parisers, people who just wanted to enjoy the beautiful day. On a beautiful day they go out to a park, a bench, a sidewalk cafe and just enjoy the day. Great, huh?
The second one is the view from the top of hill at Paris. Pretty! :)

Nearby we drove past the Moulin Rouge, which I thought was cool since I watched the movie.
Next it was off to the Eiffel Tower, the most famous landmark in the entire world perhaps. We had a cloudy, chilly, windy day but we weren't going to let that stop us! To get an idea of how huge it is, look at the buildings next to it. Those are 5 or 6 story buildings! We paid a bunch of money, and waited in a long line in order to get to the ery very top level... and this is what we saw:

The writing above lets you know how far away those cities are. So, with this view (if I could see that far) I would be able to see Washington D.C. and New York City. The picture doesn't do it justice. The view is magnificent. Here we are, one level higher.

Awww, aren't we cute? Here's one of Dad and Bev:

After that we went back down, and headed to our hotel. Scrowl down a few days and you can see a picture from the Eiffel Tower when it was all pretty and lighted! And that was our first day in Paris.... a wonderful time! :) I'll post more pics of our second day another time! Hope you all enjoyed!

The Last Two Weeks - Part 3 (Paris, and Geneva)

2006-04-23T09:40:00.000+02:00

If you'll all remember, we last left off as we were heading in the car to Paris...

Now, the drive to Paris from Saarbruecken is about 5 hours or so. I spent most of the time trying to work on that History stuff, which was difficult, since the country side was very pretty..

So, about noon we found ourselves coming into Paris. I was supposed to be navigating by this time, except that the exit we needed came before we I had a chance to double check to make sure it was the right exit.. so, we drove on - hoping it was correct.

About 15 minutes later we decided to turn around and go back, since the way we were going didn't seem quite right. We ended up in this very run down, unsafe looking neighborhood. We grabbed some gas at a gas station, and attempted to ask a woman who spoke no English where we were. We did get out of her that this was "No Paris" with some wild hand gestures... hmmmm...

So back to the right freeway we went, this time sure to take the right exit. A little while later we got to the street where our hotel was - The Best Western Monte Bregnasse or something similar to that. Only t ofind that the street our hotel was on was in the middle of road construction. So, we drove around looking for impossible to find parking... only to end up having to park a very long ways away.

After some time we made it to the hotel, got our rooms, and checked out how small they were. Ours was super cute, but had a broken toilet lid. After spending all the money we spent for a room, we wanted a perfect room (and were hoping for an upgrade) so we switched rooms, to a room on the first floor which had a tub (ours only had a shower at first). We grabbed some lunch at a Pizza Parlor nearby, where we figured out the menu enough to order. I had a calzone (pizza folded in half) which was delicious.

Then it was off to some sightseeing....

The RESULTS

2006-04-21T18:56:00.000+02:00

Well, I took that big history test today.

I passed with a C.

Which isn't bad, after all. I said all I wanted was at least a C. Now I can get credit for that Political Science class at NDSU without damaging my GPA too much (I hope). Yay!

Except I think I only passed because he wanted to be nice. You see, Mindy spent the entire semester struggling, never asked the teacher for extra help because she thought she could learn the information by herself later. After all, she had basic notes and all the outlines.

Then she did what she thought she could. And memorized it. In a relatively short amount of time too. She felt ready.

Then the test came. She arrived at the office and talked to the nice teacher's assistant. Then she talked with the nice teacher. Everyone was very nice, and understood that she was nervous, and told her to relax.

Then the questions came. You see, Mindy knew the basic ideas of everything, but not the questions he asked. And what she did know was no longer inside of her head. She panicked. And then, like she sometimes does (though completely ridiculous and embarassing and horrible) she cried. Yep.. right there in front of the teacher and his assistant...

The teacher offered me to spend some time with the teacher's assistant over the week, then try the test again because they wanted to help. I told them thank you, but no thanks. After all the struggles I just wanted to be done with it all. So I calmed myself down, and asked if we could start again. I got through it, and was able to decently answer the questions. Then the test was over, and I received my grade. Which was a C. Not bad, considering that I didn't understand the teacher through 90% of the lectures, and I've never taken such a spoken test before. I think I could have down better with either a written test or if I was used to taking spoken tests.

You see, I studied, and knew lots of things. They just were the wrong things.

But at least I passed!

2006-04-20T21:05:00.000+02:00

Hey, just thought I'd drop a cool pic I took of the Eiffel Tower in Paris: They turn on strob lights every so often at night, and I caught this pic. The bottom is a bit blurry, but overall I love the picture.

Ha!

2006-04-20T15:35:00.000+02:00

Couldn't help it. Had to see... It's officially, I am only LIGHTLY NERDY!
WOO HOO!!!!!

Here's my results:

so, the next time someone calls me a nerd, I can tell them that I am only lightly nerdy! I'm excited.

I'm Better Now

2006-04-20T15:27:00.000+02:00

I'm better now about the whole History thing. I feel confident enough, I'm going to review and reread some explanations to make sure I understand how everything fits together, and I'm going to have Fabian help to make sure what I'm explaining makes sense. Then I'm going to take the test, and if I don't do good then there isn't anything more I can do about it. Worrying and freaking out today and tomorrow before the test won't help me a bit, so I'm not going to.

All I need to do now is get motivated to study.

grammar

2006-04-19T19:29:00.000+02:00

sorry, in my last post are lots of grammar mistakes...

so instead of correcting it, I decided to just post again real quick and say sorry!

Please forgive me not good grammar!

I [kind of sort of don't really] hate history.*

2006-04-19T19:10:00.000+02:00

I hate the test that I have to study for on Friday. There are so many things to know, and I feel so overwhelmed by it all. Funny, how we spent so much time focusing on/preparing for the little things - this test will last 20 minutes. 20 minutes out of my life is not very much. But I sure am spending a lot of time preparing.

But I've ran out of juice. Everyday is a struggle to make myself study - every minute I'm studying a struggle to put the information I know into a cohesive german sentence. Why is it such a struggle? Because I've learned that knowing something, and explaining it well off the top of your head in German are too totally different things. A written test? Not so easy but I could do it, with much less worry. A spoken test in which I am expected to know all there is to know about East and West Germany between 1945-1989, expected to be able to explain all this info quickly, and effeciently and do it all in German with a professor who sort of scares me? Not so easy.

You see, I'm a written person. I make myself clearer when I write. I can write out my thoughts, what I know, and if it doesn't make sense I can erase and start over or rewrite it. I'm not pressured by time (not too much anyways) and I don't feel self conscious because I can take the time to think. In german this is helpful because I can first think what I know about the topic, then take my time to make a pretty german sentence that is mostly grammaticly correct. But a test out loud? I have to think and answer immediatly, no time for mistakes, if I make them I just look worse to the proffesor (grammatical mistakes that is). I've been studying outloud to myself off and on all day, asking myself questions and giving answers... and it takes me a while to think about the topic, remember what I know, and then have it come out in German well. And mind you, I'm thinking in German too. So it's not that I have to translate in my head or anything. It's just hard to do this all in German. Most times my sentences come out confused in subject/verb/case/etc and I have to stop and start again, I take long pauses searching for the right words. Even to me I sound unsure of myself, struggling and unknowledgeable. I don't want to come off that way, since I'm pretty sure that playing the "unsure american" won't really appeal to this teacher. Why do I think that? Because of the way he always speaks. Because even Germans in this class are afraid of this test. Today I talked to one girl, who when she told people she knew that she was in his class, they replied, "Wow. You have him as a proffesor for your first semester at the University? You're crazy!" When she told me this, I replied that we know that we're crazy now too, so why didn't anyone tell us this when we decided on classes? Another friend of mine from the class said to this topic, "Yeah, good luck. He's hard." Hmmm.. thanks... I'm feeling MUCH better.

So, maybe I'm just having a bad german day (funny since my speaking and understanding today otherwise has been great), and I know that I need to relax, and not worry - I'm trying. I know that it's only 20 minutes of one day of my entire life, that even if I fail it's okay - I have time to take the equivelant (and better/easier/more fun) class at NDSU in Fargo sometime next year, so it's not like I'll be behind in graduating or anything like that.... I'm just stressed because the entire semester has been such a struggle in this class, and I've never had such a hard time studying for a test in my entire life.

If I fail I'm going to cry.

* If your wondering the translation for my title, this is a phrase I use a lot (or sometimes at least) in English. All I mean is that I really really almost hate history, but I don't really hate it. It just comes very very close.

The Last Two Weeks - Part 2 (Lodon)

2006-04-18T18:07:00.000+02:00

Well, here it is folks - the second part of my series on my dad and step-mom's visit here in Germany...

Where was I... oh yes, we just arrived in Lodon, at Victoria Coach Station.

Since we had all (more or less) been awake since 2 am we were starving, so we grabbed food at the first cafe we found. I marveled the entire time at all the English everyone was speaking (I also was marveling at the airport and on the plane)... I mean, who would've thought that people speak english! The craziest thing was that I even ordered my breakfast (baked beans and scrambled eggs on toast. yep, that's right... baked beans on toast) in English!!!! Unbelieveable! No really... I haven't been in an engilsh speaking country since July.

After a yummy breakfast, we decided to buy tickets on The Big Blue Bus tour buses, in order to see all of london. The tickets were 20 Pounds each (20 Pounds = expensive) but well worth it, as we were taken all over London and could hop on or off at any of their many bus stops, in oder to see things closer. Since the tickets last for 24 hours we were able to buypass taking the subway, and merely enjoyed the ride (with a recorded or live tour guide all along the way). From the comfort of the bus we saw everything from the Tower of London (we went in) to the Globe Theater to Buckingham Palace (where we tried to see changing of the guards but didn't see too much) to Kennsington Palace to SoHo to Big Ben, and also got a free 20 minute Boat Tour to boot. Tuesday evening we ate a dinner at a typical London Pub, which was very nice looking (looks like a home but with a bar in it) and had pretty good food. I ate a typical "pie" (aka pot pie like thing), and tried Bev's Fish and Chips and Dad's sausage with mashed potatoes he ordered (delicious). It was weird though, cause we waited for a waitress to come only to learn you had to order and pay immediately at the bar.... odd.

Tuesday night we slept at an okay hotel in Bayswater. It was not too expensive, and although not great, it was okay for sleeping there one night. On Wednesday it was down to the continental breakfast (bad croissants and some cereal. Typical english breakfast cost 10 Pounds extra per person so we stayed away from that). Afterwards it was off to the Tower of London with the bus... at the Tower we paid to get in (15 pounds per person) plus paid a few pounds more to get the guided audio tour - well worth the money because you learn so many other things with it! In here we saw the crown jewels, and lots of other things. The Tower of London refers to one of the old castles, which was occupied by Henry the 8th for a short time (I think) and where many people were imprisoned and beheaded...

Afterwards we hopped the Subway quick back to Victoria Coach Station and then our shuttle bus to Stansted, where we took a plane to Germany (once again with lots of commercials over the speakers) and from there caught a midnight shuttle to Saarbruecken. We got home at 3 am and were exhausted...and slept until Thursday, when my parents explored a bit on their own while I did some errands all day. Friday we wandered around town a bit, picked up our rental car and made our way to mine and Fabian's favorite Chinese Restaurant in Saarbrücken. Then it was early to bed, as we awoke and left for Paris at about 7 on the eighth of April...

Paris section to come soon! :)

Help

2006-04-17T09:24:00.000+02:00

My computer is breaking. It no longer always recognizes that it is plugged in - the cord has to be positioned just right in order for it to charge (I have a lap top)

The screen is also going in and out sometimes...

I love my computer, and while it overall isn't very good, I think it is time to face facts:

My computer is going to (very soon) give up the fight at the rip old age of 3.5.... (and before I had it it was a display model at a store, so who knows what it's been through).

Anyone want to buy me a new computer?

The Last Two Weeks - Part 1

2006-04-15T11:14:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone, me again. Since there is so much to tell about my Dad and step-mom being here for two weeks, I am going to have to post about it in at least a couple of different parts. Since I need a break from crammng for the History of East and West Germany test I have coming up on Friday the 21 of April (read about it here), I thought now would be a good time to start out.

Firstly, let me say that my birthday was a blast (it was on the 31st of March). I got my haircut, had yummy chinese dinner with my boyfriend who also made me a super cute cake, opened my gifts (two tinkerbell purses, a tinkerbell shirt, some stationary, and an elephant picture holder from my mom and step-dad; Harry Potter 3 from Fabian; Harry Potter 2 (the books) from myself; Swiss chocolate, a typical French coffee cup, and a cute beeswax decoration from Ellen), talked to my mom and step-dad and just overall enjoyed my 21st birthday.

The next morning we got up bright and early to go pick up Dad and Bev at the airport - they arrived at 8:20 and we left home at about 6:45 (a little later than we meant to). It was exciting to see them again, and we spent the day looking around Frankfurt. That evening it was off to Giessen, where we stayed at a hotel overnight (where Dad and Bev were able to stay awake until 10 pm or so - they did a great job!) and bought a board game where the first person to lose all their money is the winner. Quite interesting, to say the least.

The next morning it was off to Marburg, the same town that I visited previously with Fabian and Tiffany (read about it here). We wandered around again mainly, going up to the old Castle, seeing the museum inside, and ending with delicious cake and coffee (or hot milk w/honey for me) which is a typical German tradition (at least used to be) at a very old cafe there. That evening we drove back home where we introduced Dad and Bev to Ellen (Fabian's mom), the apartment, and the air matress they'd be sleeping on while in Saarbruecken. Monday the three of us saw a bit of the city, and had an early night.

Monday night (or rather Tuesday morning) we woke up around 2 am to take a taxi to the train station where we caught a shuttle bus for the 2 hour drive to Frankfurt Hahn Airport (which is a small international airport which has nothing to do with Frankfurt the city and is actually not even near Frankfurt) where we caught an early (and cheap) flight with Ryan Air to London Stansted Airport (an airport not directly in London, but nearby more or less). For those of you unfamilar with Ryan Air, they are an European company who offers extemeley cheap flights to various cities in Europe. Their flights are sometimes so cheap that you pay 0.01 Euro for the ticket, and the rest of what you actually pay is various taxes. That was the case for us. We paid 0.01 Euro for the ticket to London, 0.01 Euro for the ticket back to Germany, and the rest of the 25 Euros we paid per person was taxes. That's a whole $30.28! Very cheap...

The only little problem we had in the whole thing was an arguement I got into with a woman trying to sell us shuttle tickets from the airport in London to the main part of London. The price was more than I expected, and the money I had needed to be kept for other things in London and back in Germany so after the lady wrote out our tickets and told me the total I tried to explain to her that I didn't have the money for it because the money I did have was needed for other things...except she didn't listen to me at all and just yelled at me for letting her write out the tickets and then refuse to pay for them and use them. Then she told me, "Well, thank you. Goodbye. Very nice of you, I saw the money you have. You could have paid. Good bye!" in a not very nice way. Then I gave up trying to explain to her that the money had to be saved for London (the pounds I had changed) and for our return shuttle to Saarbruecken (the euros I had). Dad and Bev at that point only had dollars (they were out of Euros, and we didn't get their dollars changed into Pounds yet due to bank problems in Saarbruecken), so they couldn't pay either. It actually all worked out though, because their supposedly "cheapest shuttle to London from Stansted Airport" bus was more expensive then the bus we paid for and took in Lndon.

And with that we grabbed the plane (since it is a cheap airline they use commercials from supporting companies that they play over the speaker on the plane nearly the entire flight) arrived in London at about 7:30 am (london time, which is an hour behind the time zone I am in or 6 hours ahead of Central Standard Time in the US), took a shuttle bus which was cheap but long since it got stuck in traffic and arrived at Victoria Station at 10:30 am, ready for two days of exploring London.

Stay tuned to Part 2 of the story - where you can expect to hear about the London portion of the last two weeks! :)

i'm tired

2006-04-13T23:53:00.000+02:00

hi. my dad and step-mom bev's trip to germany was a hit. It was lots of fun. However it was exhausting fun. They fly back tomorrow, and we have to leave at 6 am. It is now 11:52 pm. I need to finish copying pictures, make a CD of the 500+ pictures that I have for dad and bev to take with, my computer is being not normal, and I have to wake up at about 5:15 ish tomorrow.

like I said, it was a hit... but I'm exhausted.

Aren't you all happy I shared?

:)

2006-03-31T22:43:00.000+02:00

This is me with the new! Quite different if you ask me. And the shirt I got from mom and dad for my birthday! Isn't it cute? My nickname my last year of high school was Tink, and I still love Tink stuff, so it suites me well! :) I do believe I love my new cut, let me know what you all think! And, just as a reminder, if I don't post for the next two weeks it is because my Dad (real dad) and Bev (step mom) will be here to visit and we are super busy! So I'll fill you all in afterwards if I don't find any other time. Until then!

2006-03-31T22:41:00.000+02:00

This is me with my old cut! :)

A Day in my Life

2006-03-31T09:03:00.000+02:00

Here was what my Thursday looked like. Hope you enjoy!

5:30 am - Fabian gets up to get ready or work. I go back to sleep.
6:40 am - The phone rings, startling me out of sleep. I groggily reach over for the phone. "hello?" I say quite sleepy. Fabian's voice speaks back to you, apologizing for waking me and asking me to bring down an umbrella to the entry way of our building so that he can stop by with the van he drives routes with to pick it up. Sleepily I pick out an umbrella and stumble down to the first floor. It's too early for this. I wait for about 5 minutes. When he doesn't show up I go back up, call him (only to learn he isn't here yet and I am to just leave the umbrella down there for him) and wonder if he told me that originally and I missed it or if he forgot to.
6:45 am - I'm laying in bed, relaxing, and I realize... I have to get up in 45 minutes. Does it really pay to go back to sleep?
7:05 am - Finally fall back asleep.
7:30 am - Stupid alarm clock on my cell phone goes off. I shut it off leaving it on the pillow next to me. "Must. Get. Up." goes through my head. I go back to sleep.
7:45 am - Wake up again. Oh, yeah. I have to get up. "Aufstehen, aufstehen, aufstehen" repeats over and over and over in my head in an attempt to keep my mind awake until my body can find the strength to cooperate. Aufstehen means "to get out of bed".
7:50 am - I finally get up. I stretch, grab some clothes and head to the shower, checking my time on the way to make sure I'm still okay on time.
8:00 am - Get dressed after my shower. I am wearing two pairs of socks, jeans, a t-shirt, a long sleeved shirt, and I have a hoody packed in my bag to put on later. Why so many clothes? Today I'm of to the Raptor Center, which is higher in elevation there, a bit colder, and more windy than saarbruecken. I don't want to freeze like the first day I was there.
8:05 am - Sit down to a bowl of cereal, which is the same as frosted flakes. I'm starving and am reminded how I could never survive w/o breakfast. It's too yummy! I grab my current book, Trial by Fire by Nancy Taylor Rosenberg.
8:15 am - Pack my bag of stuff to do, grab an umbrella and a coat and head out the door.
8:30 am - Arrive after walking 15 minutes at the doc's office for a blood test. I have to wait in line a few minutes, and when its finally my turn to talk to the receptionist, I forget the german word for blood test, and stutter a bit trying to search my brain for the right word. She recognizes me from the day before and says, "Blutabnahne?" "Ja" I reply. Whew... saved.
8:40 - Done with the blood test, and walking my way to a street train station to get to the train station.
8:50 - Buy three mini donuts (aka berliners) for a euro - yum yum!
9:03 - By this time I'm on my train, relaxing and starting my homework for the 50 minute drive to Saarburg, where the park is.
10:00 - Am picked up by Alex at the train station in Saarburg, one of the owners of the park. We head off to the park, grabbing some "Broetchen" (breakfast rolls) on the way.
10:15 - Sit down to a small breakfast. Thankfully I only ate 1 berliner on the train, or else I would be not hungry at all and feel bad. I eat a broetchen with yummy stuff on top, get a rain coat from Wolfgang the other owner, and head outside with Alex.
10:45 - The black lab who came outside with us is missing. We're all puzzled, since according to Alex and the others he's never run off. Finally find him under a shed, unable to get out. We're not sure how he got there in the first place. We dig out the dirt a bit and the dog crawls out, happy as can be. Strange dog.
11:05 - We start to feed the other animals since there are no visitors for the 11 am Bird Show (its too rainy). First comes the "washbaeren" aka Raccoons, who are found in Europe in the wild but only because they got brought from North America. There are three at the park, cute as can be - but not to be trusted. They can be a bit mean too. Next comes the pony and two donkeys, the chickens, the ferrets, the bunnies, the pigeons, the goats and the pigs - though the pigs food is just gotten ready and left to soak in water to make a slop which will be fed to them later. Sometime during all this I cut my finger slightly.
12:30 - I go to give the raccoons some chicken. yum yum they gobble it down. Afterwards its off to clean the chicken shed which they are forced to live in now due to the Bird Flu being in Germany (Northern Germany only still. It isn't anywhere near us yet) - all chickens/birds that are owned have to be inside a container/room of some sort. My job now is to scrap bird poop from the benches, and help to get rid of all the old straw and poop and feathers. Then to replace it with new stuff. After a bit of confusion on what I was supposed to retrieve from the cellar where all the supplies were (I get confused on german words sometimes) this job is accomplished! On my way back I slip and end up scraping my leg. I scare the heck out of Alex since the way I landed looked pretty weird (my leg was at a weird angle), but I'm okay, just got a small cut is all. I think Alex thought I broke my leg or something...
1:00 - Next it is off to the bunnies and pigeons, to clean them. Once again scraping off poop. My job is so clean. Soon the pigeons are done and they're home looks quite inviting (and the baby pigeon so cute) and I'm on to the bunnies, which would be easier to do except for the fact that they are so curious they don't get out of your way when trying to clean. This brings about my, "hey.. get out from underneath that pile of clean straw I just put in here" lecture which I was forced to give to a cute little bunny who found himself suddenly in the dark under the hay. Much laughing later (at the bunnies who were always in my way) I'm finally finished, and they're hopping about as happy as can be in their new, dry surroundings.
1:15 - The food for the pigs is down soaking, time to feed. Alex asks if I want to, and I gladly say, "Yes!" So I grab the bucket of slop, and head into the muddy pin. I realize quickly that this is a bad idea, since the large amounts of mud instantly find its way to my pants, and I become insanely dirty. Oh well, I pour some slop into the trough for the two larger pigs, and get the smallest one to come over and eat out of my bucket (other wise he would get anything). The middle sized pig quickly gives up on the trough and finds her way to me in order to try to get to the bucket too. I push her away and the poor thing just hasn't learned to keep eating from the trough to get the most food. I come out covered with mud but happy.
1:30 - Lunch! A bratwurst, and two broetchen. Yum Yum!
2:30 - Back outside. The weather has improved, its no longer raining really, and the sun is trying to peak out. We go clean the duck's home (who also have to stay inside).
3:30 - A falcon with some problems with the pads of his feet is brought out from his sanctuary in the shower of Wolfgang's home (its the only place where he can't hurt himself while he waits to have surgery soon) is brought out so Wolfgang can clean his enclosure. I get to hold him, and we seem to bond. His name is Mini which (though spelled differently and meant differently) reminds me of my dad's mom who was nick named Minnie.
4:00 - Mini goes back and Wolfgang grabs Sheeva, another type of bird who weighs too much and is therefore not used for the Bird Show. When birds weigh too much they are not as hungry and lazier when it comes to flying for the food (which makes them want to do the show). We drive up the mountain to the bird enclosure's with Sheeva, and feed all the other birds, who seem a bit unhappy they didn't get to fly today since no one showed up for the second show either today due to the weather. Wolfgang brings out Sheeva, who is a bit lazy. He flys her a bit, only to have two wild birds of prey show up flying around above us, causing Sheeva to fly off with them. She has no tracker on, which means we have to go find her.
5:00 - We just spent about an hour searching for Sheeva, found her, and Wolfgang finally got her to come back. I recieve a stuffed owl, and two pens with birds carved on them from the park for my birthday. And 10 Euros for the train rides I had to pay for. I shoot the bull a bit with Alex.
5:30 - Say goodbye to Alex and hop in the car with Wolfgang who drops me off at the train station. He wishes me a happy birthday and its off to run through the pouring rain and wait about 20 minutes for the train by reading my book again.
6:07 - Train finally comes. I find a comfy seat and settle in.
7:00 - It's raining still as I come home in Saarbruecken, though not pouring which is good. I do some laundry and relax with Fabian for a couple hours.
11:30 - After even more reading of my really good book I settle in for a good night's sleep. It's been an exhausting day but today I realized that I love working with the animals. That scraping off poop is worth it for just a few minutes a day of seeing Sheeva fly, of watching the way the raccoons interact with each other, of almost being mauled by overly curious bunnies, getting to pat the donkey's on the nose once or twice, talk to the chickens who think that cleaning their home equals some sort of cruel punishment (even though they were never touched) who let me know loudly that they feel this way, of seeing the ducks quack up a storm for no reason, and getting to hold and talk to a falcon up close and personal. Yep... no matter how much or how little contact I have with the animals, I realize that just seeing them often and getting to know them a bit, even just through observation, I learn that I indeed am cut out for this type of job.

It's a great feeling.

I'm GREAT!

2006-03-31T08:34:00.000+02:00

Just wanted to update anyone, who may have been worried about my dizzy spells due to the last several posts about them.

First I want to tell you all not to worry. My dizzy spells are not bad at all. They happen between 5 - 10 times a day probably, and usually only in the morning or evening when I'm going to or getting out of bed. When they do happen I can control them, and they are gone within seconds.

The reason I am going to doctors now is to simply get this problem taken care of, because I would like to know what is causing them and how to get rid of them once and for all, if that is possible.

So, don't worry, I'm doing great! God's got my back, and I'm still going about life like normally! I'm just adding some interesting "It's-hard-to-explain-medical-problems-in-german-when-you-don't-know-all-the-words-in-german" stories to my life! :)

Doctor Visit # 1

2006-03-29T11:36:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm back from the doctors. It went well overall, I suppose you could say.

I got there, and first I had to fill out a questionaire. You really take questionares for granted until you have to sit with a dictionary in order to answer some of the questions.

So, after 15 minutes or so the couple page questionaire was completed, and the doctor game. I thought I was seeing a female doctor, but I ended up with a male doctor. Since he was nice and seems thorough, I don't really care.

Then I explained the situation to him as best as I could in German. At times he was a bit confused, as was I but we got through it, and he understood what my problems were. He checked my blood pressure, my pulse, my breathing, and my heart. He also sent me for an EKG which tests your heart. And tomorrow morning I have to go back in to get a blood test. This is what I learned so far today:

1. My blood pressure was 100/60, which is a bit low. According to a Medical Encyclopedia website, normal is between 90/60 and 130/80. While mine still technically falls into the normal range, the doctor can safely assume that it is lower than normal regularly. Why? Because normally a person's blood pressure in a doctor's office (especially a new doctor/situation - like me being nervous going to a doctor and explaining everything in German) is higher than normal. Since I was nervous and in new surroundings, my blood pressure today was more than likely higher than it usually is, which is why he thinks I have low blood pressure. Which if I remember right, has been a problem in my life before.

2. My pulse was okay the first time he took it, and later a bit slow but not so slow to worry about. The EKG turned out normal, so whatever is causing this, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with my heart (yay!).

3. I remembered that I have low amounts of Iron in my blood. I believe this is one of the things that will be tested tomorrow morning in the blood test.

So, what are the next steps? Well, he gave me meds - a pill to take three times a day and drops of some stuff to take each morning with sugar or bread. Should be interesting, especially cause I'm supposed to let the stuff melt in my mouth, and they do not look very tasty.

Next Thursday (06/04/2006) I have to go to a Neurologist and to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. Which isn't too cool. Well, I'm happy to be getting this taken care of. But yeah. Next Thursday I have to be at the Neurologists at 9 am, but since they are completely booked (and we don't want my case to wait for weeks and weeks and weeks) I get to show up, and they will fit me in as soon as they can. Which hopefully does not mean that I have to wait ALL DAY. Then in the afternoon I get to go to the Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. At least there I have a specific appointment time.

After that I need to call the same doctor that I saw today on Monday the 10 or so (which may be hard since I'll be in France) and make sure that the results from whatever tests the other two doctors do have come in, along with my blood test from tomorrow, and then I get to make an appointment, and go back to the doctor to discuss the findings. Hopefully there will be findings. But then again, maybe just having low blood pressure would be a good thing. Oh - and we also learned that my blood pressure does not get lower when going from laying down to standing up, which he said would be normal... I guess I have an inkling that this is more than just low blood pressure.

So, really, we just don't know too much of anything. Quite annoying if you ask me.

And the best part? I get to go to TWO MORE DOCTORS and explain to them what's up and go through a bunch more tests.

And one last note: as I got the EKG done, it was administered by a woman. In the states the woman would leave/turn around while you took off your top and bra in order to take the test, but in Germany (as was the case when I went to the other doctor too last fall) they just stand there while you take your clothes off. Its not in a perverted way or anything, and they are girls, so it isn't like I have anything they don't... its just a bit weird when your not used to it.

Update on Dizzy Spells

2006-03-29T09:49:00.000+02:00

Dear Family, Friends, and Readers,

I hope that this letter finds you all in good health, as those of us here in Germany (me and my boyfriend) aren't quite in good health as of right now.

For me, it's the dizzy spells. Yes, they are unfortunately still here. I haven't had any repeats of the falling over into bed after standing up thing though, thankfully.

Today I (gasp) go to the doctor to see if they can find something.

As always, I'm nervous. Especially because I can hardly describe my dizzy spells adequately in English, let alone German.

I've seriously been practicing my description (aka speech) all morning.

Sad, huh?

And Fabian is still sick too. He's back at work, which is only making him more sick. He may very well end up getting written sick again at the end of this week and all next week. Though its nothing too serious, this is one virus/bug/thing that just won't detach unless he gets good sleep every night (read: does not have to get up at 5 in the morning), and relaxes a lot. Seriously, at the end of last week things were going much better (hardly any coughing, just a bit sick feeling, no fever). Fast forward to Tuesday, after being at work for the second day in a row he is coughing up a storm again, and has been sleeping horribly. Last night he got only 2 hours of sleep. Same went for Sunday night. Monday night he got lots of sleep cause he slept for about 6:30 pm to 5 the next morning. I'll update you all later on the doctor visit. Wish me luck.

Leave a comment or two if you have the time, and keep reading!

Your friendly blogger,
Mindy

Songtext Whitney Houston - I will always Love you - Lyrics von Whitney Houston - Klingelton Whitney Houston - mp3 Download Whitney Houston

2006-03-27T17:02:00.000+02:00

So, I was doing homework, and listening to a mix CD I have, when Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" song came on. For the first time in my life, I actually listened to the words. This song is actually quite sad. She's leaving the man she loves and is singing about how she'll always love him even though she has to go... (I presume her significant other is a male anyways). Don't people play this for the wedding song? No offense to anyone who did, but... do they actually listen to the words? Its a beautiful song, but there is no way I would play it for my wedding song (now that I know what it is about). Click on the link below to read the lyrics! :)

Songtext Whitney Houston - I will always Love you - Lyrics von Whitney Houston - Klingelton Whitney Houston - mp3 Download Whitney Houston

Goals

2006-03-27T13:01:00.000+02:00

I need to set goals. This is the conclusion I've come to... so here the goals that I do have:

Long Term

1. Graduate college in Winter of 2007 with honors.
2. Do everything possible to somehow be able to fit in an internship in the summer of 2007 in an area of Animal Caretaking that I would enjoy working in as well, preferably at a good quality zoo or zoological park/center.
3. Run a 5k or 10k race in the fall of 2006. Why? Because I want to get in shape, have something to work towards ( to help me stay motivated) and because I decided that even though I'm in no way ready for it, that it would be a great feeling to someday train for and complete a marathon (26.2 miles). Why? Because of the challenge! Since that would be at least a few years down the road, I decided doing a 5k or 10k race would be a great way to start getting into shape.

Short Term

1. Get decent grades in my classes over here in Germany. I'm working as hard as I can on them, but due to the fact that the courses are harder due to the language (and that I inevitabley will always miss something because of it), if my grades are a bit worse than usual, I'm not too worried about it. Mainly, I just want to pass.
2. Continue volunteering once a week at the Raptor Park here in Germany, and find at least 2 days a week to volunteer at the zoo in Fargo when I get back to the US.
3. Start and complete most of my Photo Journal for my year abroad by time I come home in August 2006. The only undone pages I want are the last few for my trip to Mallorca, coming home and (if I put it in there) re-adjusting to life in the US.
4. Start a training program to run a 5k or 10k race in the fall of 2006.
5. Remember to read my Bible daily...

Yep. So there they are. Let me know what you think. Now, I need to get off my lazy bum and go jogging, take a shower, and go do some errands. Oh, and eat lunch. The whole 5k or 10k race goal is new, and the training idea, and exact parts of the goal aren't finished yet... so I'll fill you all in on it a bit more when I've got it all figured out.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

Movies

2006-03-25T18:29:00.000+01:00

Saw this on Suzie's Blog and I thought it was kind of cool, so I'd do it myself. Here is a list of Best Movie winners for every year from 1929-2006... the ones in bold are the ones that I have seen! Enjoy! :)

2006 Crash (2005)
2005: Million Dollar Baby (2004)
2004: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
2003: Chicago (2002)
2002: A Beautiful Mind (2001)
2001: Gladiate (2000)
2000: American Beauty (1999)
1999: Shakespeare in Love (1998)
1998: Titanic (1997)
1997: The English Patient (1996)
1996: Braveheart (1995)
1995: Forrest Gump (1994)
1994: Schindler's List (1993)
1993: Unforgiven (1992)
1992: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
1991: Dances with Wolves (1990)
1990: Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
1989: Rain Man (1988)
1988: The Last Emperor (1987)
1987: Platoon (1986)
1986: Out of Africa (1985)
1985: Amadeus (1984)
1984: Terms of Endearment (1983)
1983: Gandhi (1982)
1982: Chariots of Fire (1981)
1981: Ordinary People (1980)
1980: Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
1979: The Deer Hunter (1978)
1978: Annie Hall (1977)
1977: Rocky (1976)
1976: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
1975: The Godfather: Part II (1974)
1974: The Sting (1973)
1973: The Godfather (1972)
1972: The French Connection (1971)
1971: Patton (1970)
1970: Midnight Cowboy (1969)
1969: Oliver! (1968)
1968: In the Heat of the Night (1967)
1967: A Man for All Seasons (1966)
1966: The Sound of Music (1965)
1965: My Fair Lady (1964)
1964: Tom Jones (1963)
1963: Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
1962: West Side Story (1961)
1961: The Apartment (1960)
1960: Ben-Hur (1959)
1959: Gigi (1958)
1958: The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
1957: Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
1956: Marty (1955)
1955: On the Waterfront (1954)
1954: From Here to Eternity (1953)
1953: The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)
1952: An American in Paris (1951)
1951: All About Eve (1950)
1950: All the King's Men (1949)
1949: Hamlet (1948)
1948: Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
1947: The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
1946: The Lost Weekend (1945)
1945: Going My Way (1944)
1944: Casablanca (1942)
1943: Mrs. Miniver (1942)
1942: How Green Was My Valley (1941)
1941: Rebecca (1940)
1940: Gone with the Wind (1939)
1939: You Can't Take It with You (1938)
1938: The Life of Emile Zola (1937)
1937: The Great Ziegfeld (1936)
1936: Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
1935: It Happened One Night (1934)
1934: Cavalcade (1933)
1932: Grand Hotel (1932)
1931: Cimarron (1931)
1930: All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
1930: The Broadway Melody (1929)
1929: Wings (1927)

So, I've seen 20 out of like 87 movies on this list. Wouldn't it be cool to watch them all and someday be able to say, "Yep. I've seen every "Best Movie" award winner from the US since Hollywood began," ??? I think that'd be cool. Maybe I will work on that. I better start with the really old ones though, before they are impossible to find.

Jogging

2006-03-20T19:35:00.000+01:00

I went jogging today.

12:45 - 1:05 (20 minutes)

5 minute walking warm up

3 minutes Jogging/2 Minutes Walking

3 minutes Jogging/2 minutes Walking

5 minutes walking cool down

(I know it may not seem like much, but its great for me! So I thought I'd share!)

2006-03-20T09:20:00.000+01:00

It's a beautiful day.

I think I'm going to go running.

:)

I think spring may be here (but I'm afraid to jinx it).

Oh, and I also think that I finally found a face wash that works. It only has taken me since July. But don't tell anyone. I don't want to jinx that too.

I found a place!

2006-03-20T09:09:00.000+01:00

Last week, after I was bummed because volunteering in the local zoos wasn't possible, I found a Raptor Center (Birds of Prey) Park where I can volunteer!

I have to take a train for about an hour in order to get to the small town of Staarburg, Germany. Once there it is about a half an hour walk, or 10 minutes by car, to get to the "Greifvogel Park" (Raptor Park) which two 30-something men run with the weekend help of a 13 year old girl named Janina and now occasionally me.

I went there on Thursday and saw the grounds, which is on a mountain. At the base of the mountain is a restaurant, the home of one of the men who own the place, and a myriad of animals including ferrets, a pony, two donkeys, chickens and ducks (which have to be locked up due to the Bird Flu, which has reached Germany but not this far south), a couple of pigs, some racoons, some pigeons (yes pigeons), and maybe another animal I'm missing.

When you go up the mountian you find the stage for their twice daily Bird Shows (11 am and 3 pm), and the home of a variety of birds - including falcons, hawks, two American bald eagles, a snow owl (like on Harry Potter), two other owls and a couple of more.

I got to help feed all of the animals during the day, eat a good lunch (they can't pay me but they can feed me!), and help out with their afternoon show...which was really only a show for me because no one else showed up. I got to have one bird come to me on my leather gloved hand, which went good overall. Then we brought out one of the bald eagles. Both the eagles are young still... one is 2 years old and one is 3 years old. Neither have the white feathers on their heads yet, but they are HUGE (wing spans bigger than me!) and gorgeous. The first eagle was the younger and gentler one. Then we brought out the second one who is a bit more aggressive. And I got to have him come to me on my gloved arm. They showed me what to do, and how to call him. The first time I tried the bird decided, "uh... sorry, but I don't go to someone I don't know" and just landed on the ground next to me. The second time it worked, but I was a bit nervous, and he was heavier than I was expecting. So I turned, like I should, after catching him to "throw" him back out (make him fly away) except in the process I threw the glove I had on too. Oops.

But it was awesome. I've never had an eagle (or any other such bird) so close. I'd love to go help everyday there, but unfortunately I can't afford the train ticket everyday. So I'm going again on Thursday of this week to help. It'll be great.

They're Ba-ack!

2006-03-15T09:53:00.000+01:00

They're back. And I hate it. They come without warning, without reason, and they plague me. I can go months without one, and then suddenly they're there again, as if to say, "Ha ha! You thought you got rid of us? Think again."

What are they? They are my dizzy spells.

Now, "dizzy spells" are not the medical name for them, but they are what I have so lovingly termed them.

They started back in August of 2006 while I was on a vacation to northern Minnesota with my parents. After a long day of traveling in the car and reading a book (I remember because I usually can't read in a moving car without getting car sick) they set in almost immediately after we got there. At first I thought nothing of it, just that it was some random weird thing. Boy was I wrong.

I don't remember how they progressed exactly, but I do remember that we switched state parks and in the second camp site we had for the trip, they got really bad. So bad that I spent days laying on a blanket, on the ground in our camp site, just staring into space, because reading/turning my head/moving my body in any way would set the world tilting and spinning in all directions. I couldn't even go to the bathroom on my own for a few days. My parents had to stand on either side of me, supporting me and walking me to the bathroom. It was horrible, but thankfully by the end of the vacation they seemed to have gone away.

Sometime we did go see a doctor regarding this condition. He put me through some tests, (stand up, with your arms straight out and shoulder height, close your eyes) which were negative. I didn't fall over during the tests. He gave me some motion sickness pills I believe, and that was that. We didn't pursue it more, and I was never diagnosed with anything. From then on Mom and I assumed it was "Vertigo" which is the same thing my mom has, meaning that she randomly has dizzy spells occassionally for no reason.

Fast forward to current time, a couple of years later. In the last two years or so they have randomly come on and lasted for varying lengths of time. I have been able to learn to control them. When they come on I am able to quickly get control of my eyes again, and stare at one nonmoving object which makes them go away in seconds usually. They make me a bit nauseous however, which can last a bit longer. I can go months without them, and then they're back. Like now.

The last spells I had were last summer/fall. I had some alcohol one evening and the next day my dizzy spells were there. I spent three days lounging around in a bed, because they were back. It was horrible. After the original three days, they dissapeared, only to return randomly over the next month or so. Eventually they went away, and haven't returned until yesterday. Of course, right when I had began thinking that, "...maybe they are gone for good this time." I haven't had any alcohol to trigger them (in fact, alcohol hasn't trickered them since last summer/fall), or anything else that I can think of that is different which could have started them. Except one thing.

Last week I started trying to get healthier. I started keeping track of what I eat (trying to eat the right food groups everyday), and excercising 6 out of 7 days a week (though I didn't quite make this goal). I have been doing 3 days of cardio, and 3 days of strength training. During the stregth training I noticed my neck was getting tighter, but thought that training it a bit wouldn't hurt. Now I'm wondereing if maybe it is. Which is sad, since as a 20 year old who is healthy, I should be able to do some cardio, and strength training without having problems...

So, now.. yeah. So now there back. Yesterday they set in while I was babysitting. I was able to control them, so no one knew. Then I seemed okay the rest of the day. This morning however, when getting out of bed, I was unpleasantly reminded that they were indeed back. I had to go to the bathroom around 5:10 this morning, so I scooted to the edge of the bed, sat there a second, and then got up - the same exact way I do every morning around 5:10 or so. Except today I no sooner had gotten my feeting on the ground, when the world starting tilting quickly to the right, I felt my eyes dart quickly around no longer under my control, and my feet lost their grip on the floor (it was as if someone had shoved me) and I fell quickly back to the bed. Mentally I was aware of what was happening. I remember trying to control my eyes, trying to find a grip on the floor again with me feet, but it was all to no avail, and I fell on the bed (thankfully it was still there).

That is what they are like for me. They come completely randomly. A turn of the head can trigger one, but that same turn of the head an hour later can be fine. Bending over and closing my eyes are usually bad (to wash my face for example, or dry my hair after a shower), but not always. Sometimes even nothing seems to set them off. Once it hits, the world starts moving and I lose control of my eyes. My eyes will roam all by themselves, the world will tilt, and if it's bad enough I will lose my balance. A feeling of nausea sets in, which will usually last even after the dizzy spell is gone. It's horrible. Thankfully, I can usually can control of my eyes again. But it is an effort. I have to mentally think "Stare at something not moving. Now don't look away from it." And that isn't an exageration. Until I'm sure its gone I have to force myself to stare at something. Thankfully they now only last about a few seconds before I have my eyes under control again....I have read stories online that are much worse (people who literally can't work or lead a normal life because of these spells).

Now, I'm not trying to make any one back home worry about me. I'm actually fine. It's not like I'm going to be driving a car which could be dangerous if a dizzy spell set in, or anything. I don't even have class. Just a quiet day at home. I may or may not work out today, depending on how bad the dizzy spells are. If I do work out it will be cardio, which I don't think is the culprit in my spells being back. I am going to go to a doctor too, to try to get this figured out. The only thing is that I would prefer to not go alone, because I want to ensure that I understand what they tell me. Unfortunately Fabian works during the week, so I will have to ask someone else more than likely. I don't know who quite yet. But we'll see how they go over the next day or so.

The worst thing about them is that I don't know when they will set in. I can be walking down the street, turn my head, and oop- there goes the world. Usually it happens when I'm sitting though. I laid in bed for 20 minutes this morning before getting up, because I knew that while laying there I had them under control, and that after getting up, I had no idea. That is the part that really sucks.

But enough of that. Today is a great day otherwise! Do you know why? Because I am no longer PMSING! And that is truly a wonderful feeling.

It'll be okay

2006-03-13T12:19:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to add to my last post that it'll be okay.

When I get back I am going to make sure I can volunteer at the zoo in Fargo.

In the summer of 2007 I will do my best to get an internship somewhere at a very good zoo. (which may be hard monetarily, but will need to be done if I plan on ever working in a zoo).

When it comes time I will apply for internships/jobs for after graduation. Who knows, maybe my other qualifications will make up for not as much experience (such as speaking 2 languages, having completed research in another country, having had an interniship {hopefully} somewhere, preferably at a good zoo, having worked with dogs/cats for 3 years {better than nothing}), and if not, then I do what I've always planned on doing: finding an internship or working full time while volunteering somewhere until I prove myself/get enough experience/find a job.

It'll be tough. But that's life I suppose, huh?

And besides, right now I have a lot of other things to do with the rest of my year here. In the next three weeks I need to:

1. Learn the stuff for my test in April.
2. Come up with a new research project (my old one is pretty much worthless I learned yesterday).
3. Start research/make plans to research/etc.
4. Work on my Photo Journal for my year here.
5. practice German.
6. Excercise.

So, that stuff should keep me busy. Then Dad and Bev come to visit (yay) then school starts, and I will be really busy with that. But I'm still sad I can't volunteer (though I'm still trying to get ahold of the people at a Birds of Prey Park nearby.)

The biggest problem may be beating the competition for the jobs I apply for eventually. After all, there are lots of people out there who have spent time in high school and in college (like, lots of time) volunteering, or interning at zoos and will have several years more experience than I will have, though we are the same age and apply for the job at the same time. This could be bad. I will have to hope that getting good contacts out there and working really hard to prove myself as a volunteer will be enough to get me a job. It isn't my own capabilities that make me wonder if getting work at a zoo will work, it is the experience of others which scares me.

Okay, seriously, I spend too much time alone thinking and worrying too much. I need to get out. That is the main reason why I'm sad volunteering doesn't work someplace: I need to get out of the apartment a couple of times a week for several hours. Maybe I can volunteer somewhere else...?

hmmmmm....

bummed

2006-03-13T11:23:00.000+01:00

I'm sad.

I can't volunteer at the zoo here in Saarbruecken or in Neunkirchen (a town nearby) because they don't take volunteers, and they don't have any intern positions available until the end of July (when I go back to spain, and then back to the US in August).

So I don't know what I'll do. Probably will have to wait on getting experience working/volunteering in a zoo until the fall, when I'm back in the states.

Seems like I'm always waiting because I can't drive that far to volunteer at the zoo (in high school)/the woman in charge of volunteering never is available or calls me back/I don't have time (fargo)/there aren't any positions available/we don't take volunteers (germany)...

sigh... I need 2 years of experience (at least) + bachelor's degree in order to apply for a position in a zoo. If I can volunteer in Fargo when I get back, when I graduate (which will be in Winter 2007 most likely, so that I'm not so stressed, and have time to volunteer and work) I will have 1.5 years... then if I can either get an internship or continue to volunteer or whatever for half a year or so, maybe I can find a job in a zoo. maybe.

Sigh. Its tough.

Movie at 11 PM - Real Begin TIme =11:40

2006-03-12T18:15:00.000+01:00

So, we went to see a movie last night, with a bunch of Fabian's friends, and we had a blast! We saw "Last Holiday Movie" (Is that the english name?) with Queen Latifah, and it was very funny...and I'm sure even funnier in English (since in German some jokes and funny things about the way they talk as people is lost).

The movie was supposed to start at 11 pm. We first went and played pool (I sunk in the 8 Ball to win one game for my team! woo hoo!), then headed over to the theater, getting there a bit early. We found our row and seat number on our tickets, and took our seats (we were in row c, i was in seat 10...fabian on my left in 9). Yes, that's right. In Germany, you often have specific rows and seat numbers to sit in. Not always, and after the show starts you can usually find a new space nearby that is better if you like, as long as it is still open...

Anyways, the theaters darkens slightly at 11 and the commercials begin. Yes, you heard me. Commercials. And a few movie previews (but mostly commercials). These are usually the same ones that are on TV here, with the exception of the Malboro commercial which isn't allowed to be on TV (no cigarrette commercials on TV are allowed over here). These commercials last for 30-45 minutes. Yep. sometimes 45 minutes. Then, the lights come back on, and there is about a 15 minute "intermission" in order to buy ice cream or other refreshments. You know, in case the ones you bought 1/2 an hour ago are gone already. Often times a refreshment guy even comes in offering ice cream.

Then the previews for the real movie begin.

And 10 minutes later (now any where from 40-60 minutes after the movie was scheduled to "start") the real movie begins.

Ahh the joys of Cinestar, the theater we were at last night.

Thankfully other theaters only usually have 10 minutes of commercials (including normal movie previews), if that. Some don't have anything except the previews. Is it that bad in the states yet?

GOOD NEWS!!

2006-03-09T10:28:00.001+01:00

I have GREAT NEWS! So, the class schedules for NDSU Fall 2006 came out recently, and I spent my morning checking up on which classes I can take next fall, spring 2007, and which ones I can take this semester in Germany...and if it all works out (cross your fingers, and druecken die Daumen!) ....

I COULD GRADUATE FROM NDSU IN MAY OF 2007!!!!!

That means, I would graduate on time, despite being abroad a year, and would be DONE WITH COLLEGE!

Oh my gosh! I'm so excited, and scared, and happy, and hoping really badly that it all works out.

In order to make it work, I need to first complete my schedule for the next semester here, contact NDSU and Concordia (where I need to get some german credits for my german minor) and get the OK on the classes I'm taking, and the credits I'll be recieving when I get back... and also check with my advisor at NDSU to make sure that my fall 06, and spring 07 tentative schedules will work... (because I will have to take four science classes each semester which may be alot... but they would be basically all I'm taking, so I think I could do it!).... and then of course, I have to get in to all the classes I want.... which shouldn't be too hard since I will have junior or senior status next year (probably senior, but I don't know technically).

So, yeah, it'll be a massive amount of work, but I could get done in Spring 07 maybe instead of Winter 07, which would mean paying less money to NDSU, getting done sooner, and getting into the working world sooner! AHH!!! I really really hope it all works out. But it is a really big IF right now, so I shouldn't get too excited! (too late)!

Wish me luck!

Oh, and by the way: even if it DOESN'T work out... and I have to graduate in Winter of 07, I can have smaller course loads each semester until then, which would mean I could work more too... but I'm hoping it works, I would love to graduate college in a year! :)

Okay, off I go to do some errands! :)

History, Harry Potter, the Zoo, and Working Out.

2006-03-08T11:35:00.000+01:00

History - As we all know, or perhaps have forgotten, school for Mindy right now is non-existant... almost. What I mean, is that there is currently the semester break right now here in Germany, so classes themselves don't exist, however there are still things to do for the last semester. For me, there is basically only my History of East and West Germany class to study for. I have pretty much the entire semester worth of information to read about, and memorize before the middle of April (like the 18th of April), so I should get crackin (my parents are coming the first two weeks of April, so I want to be done by the end of March)...but yet, I just keep procrastinating. Even now I'm procrastinating. Hmmm.... I hate having to study.

Harry Potter - Well, I started Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisheit (aka Harry Potter, book 1) recently, and I LOVE IT! Okay, so I figured I would... but since I'm reading it in German (and the beginning seemed a bit boring) I was a bit skeptical. But, the reality is, I love it. My German is well enough that I don't have to look up every word (only the occassional word), so I can really enjoy reading in German, which is really a first for me (all other books that I've tried to read have been boring thus far). I can't wait to finish this book, and buy the next!

The Zoo - So, I called the zoo here in Saarbruecken yesterday about volunteering, and I was told to call back next week and talk to the secretary. So, next week I'm going to call, and hopefully I can volunteer there on a regular basis (I need something to occupy my days, which occurs outside of the four walls of our apartment). I really hope it works out this time.

Working Out - So SELF Magazine has this thing they do every year called "The SELF Challenge." It is a workout/eat healthy/lose weight program which runs for three months. I decided to join it this year, in the hopes that it would help me stay on track with an eating right and working out program. I have made a few changes to the program, but overall I'm sticking to the work outs which it gives me and such, and feel healthier already, even though I'm only on day three! (Could have to do with the fact that I was sick, and now am not so much, but you know... I like to look at the bright side). Since I'm not trying to lose weight, I follow a healthy 1800-2000 calories/day "diet" (which means, that I just try to eat a healthy amount of grains, fruits, veggies, milk, protein, and fats), and do three days per week of cardio (bike riding... oh boy is that hard), and strength training (excercises they tell you... this month focuses on abs and arms.. and my arms are S.O.R.E. today). If anyone else wants to do it (or check out their other plans hey have on the site: such as the "couch potato's plan" or the "diet plan" or a "set your own goals plan", just click here to go to their site, and click around to find what you are looking for! It is very informational, and helpful, and has already taught me a few things about eating healthier (for instance, I get just as full and content for a small amount of cereal, and a couple of servings of fruits for breakfast, instead of from a huge bowl full of at least somewhat unhealthy cereal!). I still need to learn to eat enough Veggies, and not so much fat however.. oops...

So here's to a happier, healthier me - to having way too much free time, stuff I can procrastinate on, and a wonderful book to read and enjoy!

Typo Correcto

2006-03-04T12:17:00.000+01:00

Oops... I wrote I'd be coming into Chicago on February 9, 2006... I meant AUGUST 9, 2006!!!

lol.

Updates

2006-03-03T19:14:00.000+01:00

Yeah, Yeah... I know... I'm horrible. I'm always forgetting to update, or not feeling like it... etc. etc. I apologize.

So, here goes: My camera is getting fixed. I found the warranty card, got the guy at the store to stamp it for me, and they sent it in for me. It will take 4 - 5 weeks, and the warranty may not cover the problem, but at least I will know, and then can decide to fix it or not.

I also bought my plane ticket. Maybe I should e-mail people first, but I thought I could just get out a big update now. I will be flying in to Chicago on February 9, 2006 at 6 something. The ticket was more expensive then I wanted, but overall not bad, considering. I did what I could.

It makes me sad. It makes me realize how quickly my time has gone here. What also makes me sad is the fact that my boyfriend gave me a really nice photo album to put pics in and write about my year in. It's supposed to be done (except the last few pages) before I go... but I keep putting it off because it makes me sad to think about all the time that has already gone by and how quick the rest will go! I hate to admit it.. but I'm even putting it off right now. I love it, and I want to do it, it's just a bit sad.

Well, I think that's it. I'm going to go hang out with Kelleen tonight, so I'm excited. Talk to you all later!

2006-03-01T11:38:00.000+01:00

I recently got sick (again) and asked my boyfriend why it is I get sick so much here.

My boyfriend answers, "Because you worry too much and think too much about everything."

I then proceed for the next two days to worry about whether I'm worrying so much that I'm making myself sick.

Quite pathetic. I don't even know when I started worrying so much or why. I mean, I'm the girl who had an ulcer in like the 7th grade because I worried too much!

While I don't know if worrying so much is what is bringing my immune system down, I do know that it makes me unhappy, and anxious, and that I always assume the worst will happen with a lot of things, and then proceed to worry about it.

I've been praying about it, since the talk with my boyfriend, and reminding myself to not worry so much about everything. Hopefully I can start beating this worry thing. Anyone know any good therapists (that are FREE? ha ha ha).

Wait, I know one! GOD!

yay! (does a little rejoicing dance).

oh, and by the way: I officially finished my paper for my 19th Century Novels class. That means I now only have a test to study for, which is in April... yay!

Okay.. I now have to go turn in my paper.

ta ta.

Dedication

2006-02-26T12:35:00.000+01:00

It's been a sad year for pets. Last spring, my sister's cat Wic passed away (who was the kitten of my cat Stormy, and with whom I had a good bond). This past fall, my sister's other cat was given to a different home, due to some behavioral problems. (We now know the cat is very happy in its new home!)

Late this past fall, my sister, her husband, and my parents went to go visit my step-dad's sister, who lives in a more northern part of Minnesota. Their house is surrounded by woods, and my sister brought her dog with, Buffy. Buffy took off one day that weekend, probably after a squirrel or other small animal, and never came back. After much searching signs were put up for her, and not very long later someone called to let us know that the dog had been hit by a car on a nearby highway. Buffy now rests in peace at my aunt and uncle's, where a small grave was dug for her.

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My grandparents travel south every winter for a couple of months, and leave their dog, Boots here in Minnesota for the family. Up until several weeks ago, my sister was watching over him, and then it was my mom's turn for a few weeks. Unfortantely while Boots was at our house, both our dog Tipper and my Grandparents' dog Boots decided to run away, and they haven't been seen since. We don't know where they went, or what happened to them. Both dogs have tags on them, with the number of their vets... everything has been done to find them, but unfortantely to no avail.

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So, this post, and my blog is now dedicated to these pets, who were and still are much loved by their owners, who miss them greatly. To the pets who have passed on, I know they are in a happy place... to the ones whose lives we are not sure of, I hope and pray that they are found or come home. If you scroll down, you'll see pictures of the three dogs on the right side. The top one is Buffy, my sister's dog; then comes Boots, my grandparents dog; then comes Tipper, my parents' dog.

Advice

2006-02-23T09:50:00.000+01:00

I need everyone's advice, so please COMMENT TO THIS POST! I would really appreciate it.

If I send my camera to the repair center for Konica Minolta, it will take 14 days to fix, they can fix it (if not they still charge me about 30 to 35 euros)... and according to Karstadt (where I bought it at) it will cost probably 150 to 200 Euros (although the konica minolta rep I asked couldn't say how much for sure). So.. here's my question: is this camera worth fixing? It is hardly 6 months old, I love it to death, already have an extra battery... considering I spent 250 Euros to buy the camera itself, is it worth it to fix it for about 200?

I'm not sure what to do. I need your guys' advice!

On My Way

2006-02-23T09:10:00.000+01:00

I'm going off Trier tomorrow, so I won't post for a few days. I'm excited to go, but not at the same time. This weekend is supposed to be completely for me, I was supposed to go, enjoy myself, take lots of pics and do whatever I want to. Not worry too much about money, just enjoy myself.

Except now that I need to do something about my camera, I feel bad just going and spending money on myself, even though I was only planning on spending about 100 Euro on me (not including food, and lodging). So... yeah, I don't know now. But it should still be fun.

From the sounds of it, I will have to get a new camera. So far no one here in Saarbruecken can help me, some message board people for cameras dont' have any idea how to help me, and if it is going to take 4 - 5 weeks to fix, w/o a garuntee it'll actually work, not to mention 200 Euros, I might as well just get a new camera, hopefully one with the same type of battery as the ones I have now. But, this time I'll probably go a little cheaper.

So... that's all from me. I have a 15 page research paper due next Wednesday that I need to go research today. Have a great weekend, and I'll post again on Monday!

2006-02-22T09:42:00.000+01:00

I have good news, and I have bad news...

The good news is, I finally got a reply from someone at NDSU (after waiting about 2 months) and learned yesterday that I will be receiving credit for pretty much everything I did here this past semester. For those interested, here is the credit I will be recieving:

International Study Major (ISM) Elective Credits for: History of Christian Church Service (Geschichte des christlichen Gottesdienstes), 19th Century Novels, and History of East and West Germany (Geschichte der BRD und DDR im internationale Zusammenhang) - this course may end up being substituted for Political Science 220, which is a main requirment of my ISM major, but I'm not sure yet.

German Minor - I will be more than likely receiving credit for my Conversation, Phonetics, and general Language Course in the form of German 301 and German 302 at NDSU.

This is GREAT NEWS!

And I found out who to contact at Concordia, a private college close to NDSU in Fargo where I will have to finish my German minor (NDSU only has through the 300 level of German offered, so students have to go to Concordia and take two semesters of classes I believe, which is free thanks to an agreement the colleges have), in order to see about completing credits for the minor while I am abroad here in Germany... which if possible would be WONDERFUL.

So pretty much, if things work out as good next semester, I could:
1. Complete my German Minor requirements.
2. Make great progress in my ISM, and only have three to four courses left to complete.
3. Knock off the Cell Biologie requirement for my Zoologie major.

Which means, that there is a chance, I could graduate sooner than Winter 2007! Unfortunately due to the courses left for my Zoology major, I will probably not be able to mentally handle loading myself up on too many in one semester... therefore will probably still graduate in Winter 2007, but be able to take a few less classes each semester, be a little less stressed, and able to work a little bit more. Since I'm starting to really support myself next year, working more will be a good thing. :) I'm happy.

The Bad news is, my camera is broken. Remember: this is a 6 month old camera only: I bought it last September, after the camera my mom gave me broke. I spent 300 Euro for the camera, and a good memory card, plus another 50 Euro since then on a second battery pack for it. In order to turn the thing on, you have to push a cover on the front to the side. The cover is broken, and no longer turns it on this way, and there is NO OTHER WAY TO TURN THE CAMERA ON! I never sent in the warranty card/I don't have the warranty card or the original receipt to show how old it is, and so I can't use the warranty to fix it. So I have to pay. When I asked yesterday, the guy said anywhere from 150-200 plus a service charge of 30-50 Euros! THAT SUCKS! I'm trying to find another answer. The guy said, "Well, its no problem to send it in to the company, but it is very expensive, and we can't garuntee it would even fix the problem, since its complicated and tedious work. You should seriously think about just getting a new camera, because you can get a camera which is just as nice for about 250 Euros anyways.... and you'll be garunteed it works, as compared to not knowing if they'll be able to fix it." To which I replied, "Yeah, but I spent a lot of money on this NICE, NOT VERY OLD CAMERA, and have an extra battery pack to boot. I don't want a new camera."

So I'm going to check at another camera place today, maybe I'll luck out. I'm so mad at myself for not sending in the warranty thingie, and for putting the camera in my purse without shutting the outside cover... we think what happened is that the cover wasn't closed, and got pushed against something and broke it. The situation is made all the more annoying because I also paid my mom 100 dollars for "breaking" her camera which she gave me. I don't mind that I paid her, but honestly, I don't think we broke it, I think it was just old and finally gave out.... but I paid her... so I've spent overall about 425 EUROS which equals 506 dollars on cameras in the last 6 months, and now will have to spend another couple hundred it seems, no matter what I do just to take pictures of my ONE YEAR ABROAD! Seriously! I'm so annoyed at the situation.

Oh, and other positive notes: I bought a straightening iron for my hair yesterday, and tried it out, and finally got my hair to do what I wanted it to do, and it looked great. I can't use it everyday (unless I want fried to a crisp hair) but it is nice to now that my hair can actually look good when I want. I also got my eyebrows taken care of professionaly which cost me only 3 Euro, and looks great. I will probably go back to this salon in March when I get my hair rehighlighted and cut, they were super nice, and not so busy as the other salon I've been going through. I felt less like someone to be put through the line of hair, and more like a valued customer. And, I think I can get my make-up done free if I get my hair highlighted, which is cool.

Okay, I'm done now. I'll let you know what happens with my camera.

Memories

2006-02-20T17:04:00.000+01:00

So, for Christmas I received a huge, navy blue photo album, which will end up being a photo album/journal about my year in Germany. Today, I started planning it out (I haven't done it earlier, cause now I have two months before the next semester starts here in April and I wanted to start it now) and do you know... it's made me a little sad.

Why did it make me sad? Well, there's the obvious reason: it makes me realize how long I've been here already, how fast the time has gone, and how fast the rest of my time will go. Do you want to know a secret? While I will be happy to see my family in August, I'm sort of dreading having to leave already. This place has become my home, especially the part with being with Fabian, and knowing I will have to leave him in the end of summer breaks my heart already! (But don't worry, I don't think of it much, only sometimes. It isn't worth all my worries yet, it's still far away).

But I've also realized, with a sense of happiness and nostalgia you could say, how much has changed! I am not that same girl who left America, wide eyed at everything, excited and scared out of her mind at the same time. Well, often I'm still wide eyed at things, excited and scared... but its all different. I now know that I can handle life. Granted, I have my boyfriend here to help me out, but there are so many things which I have had to do alone (in German), and so many other things which I have learned to do. This half year has been a challenge to me through and through...a challenge which has been good for me.

So, cheers to memories of my past, looking forward to my future, and to a year I'll never forget.

Memo

2006-02-19T11:10:00.000+01:00

To: Jeans Manufacturers Worldwide
From: Mindy
Re: Being Realistic

Dear Jeans Manufacturers of the World:

Hello. My name is Mindy, and I'm an average 20 year old woman. I'm 5'7" (170 cm), I weigh 132 lbs (60 kg), and I have a body which is two different sizes - my top half is smaller than my bottom half. I have acne, all the time and my hair only rarely does what I want it to. Oh, and my butt? Well, let's just say its flatter than Nebraska. And please, don't even get me started on my fashion sense.

Okay, I admit that these stats may not be "average" completely, but they are average in the sense that no two women are the same, and all women, yes even skinny ones, have parts of their body that they don't like, and some sort of problem when finding jeans to wear. So my question to you all today is: why, oh why, can you not make jeans to fit REAL people?

You see, for quite some time I have had the desire to change the way I dress, not because I'm such a horrible dresser, but because I would like to be a little more girly, a little more dressy, and feel a little more confidant about my clothes. I decided that I'm tired of having a lot of clothes I'm self conscious in (clothes which are too short, too tight, lost their shape, etc. etc.) and only a few clothes I feel good in. So, I grabbed my camera and took pictures of me in most of my clothing, later going through the pictures critically and getting ride of the clothes which just don't look good at all (no matter how cute they might be). And, when it came to my jeans, I noticed something: In EVERY PAIR, I could fit two of my butts in all that extra fabric at the back of my jeans. Now... maybe I'm lucky, I don't know... but I have a flat butt. Would it be too much to ask for you all to maybe, say, make a pair of jeans which fits me perfectly everywhere: including my butt?

And this memo isn't just from me. It's from ALL WOMEN. We all have problems with your jeans. Either they fit our legs perfectly, and not our hips/waist, or the other way around... or they fit perfectly but our butts don't have enough room/have way too much room, or they make our butts look great, but we just can't quite get them buttoned, or they can be buttoned, and all of our fat pudges out the top... or they are perfect everywhere, except or too long/too short (and face it: if you spend $30 {or Euros} or more on a pair of jeans, do you really want to spend a bunch more money to fix the length too?)

So please, I'm begging you: JUST MAKE SOME JEANS THAT FIT US REAL WOMEN!

Because face it: even modals don't look nearly as good as we all think they do. At least not naturally. So, please, make jeans for real women. It's all I'm asking for.

Sincerely,
Mindy

News Conference

2006-02-15T09:52:00.000+01:00

She takes a deep calming breath, moments before heading out to face the large crowd of reporters waiting for her just on the other side of the curtain. Someone signals to her that it's time, and she nods, stepping around the curtain. She looks out and sees her readers, waiting for her with cameras, and she smiles as cameras start to go off. She pauses a few seconds, then makes her way up to the podium. Once there she raises a hand to quiet the crowd, and begins her speech in a very happy tone:

"Good morning, my faithful readers and newcomers. I realize that it's been quite a while since you have been last updated on my life over here in Germany, and I apologize for the delay. I am proud to inform you, first of all, that the evil-attacking-germ-things have been abolished from my body. The fight was long, but they finally surrendered to my white blood cells, who are currently celebrating with some much needed relaxation. Unfortunately, before the germs had been removed from my body, a couple made their way to Fabian's and his body is now fighting their best for him. The outlook looks good, but we will have to wait a few days more for the outcome.

In other news, I found out my first to grades for a couple of my courses over here in Germany. In my Coversation class, I recieved an 1 - which means an A! In my Phonetic class I have received a 2 - which means a B in our system! I am overjoyed with my Conversation course, a 1 more or less means that my conversation skills in German are almost like or are like a native speaker. I may have grammar mistakes and stuff, but I can get all of my ideas across, and react to conversations in the proper way. I am also extremely happy with my phonetic's grade. No one got a 1, because a 1 would mean that you speak like a native speaker (with the way you say words and such), and hardly anyone ever sounds exactly like a native speaker in a language they have learned (usually only those who've learned the language as a young child). A B means that I have improved since I've been in the class, and that my pronunciation is good! I'm very happy with my results, and anxious to find out my other grades, which mostly won't happen for several more weeks.

This is the last week of my classes for the Semester, and I am very happy to be finally getting a break. This break, unfortunately, will be filled with writing a research paper for a class, and studying for two other tests...plus working hard on my German, but I at least can use the time to catch up on some much needed studying, relaxing, reading, and working on my photo journal for my year in Germany.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day! Happy Valentine's Day to you all! I got Fabian some chocolate, and Fabian got me two roses, and it was super sweet. We are very happy, and had a great first valentine's together (we've never actually been able to be together on valentine's day). We didn't do anything spectacular: we didn't even see eachother until 9:30 last night.... but we did get to talk, and cuddle and really connect and enjoy eachother... which is the most important thing on Valentine's Day. I hope everyone's Valentine's was as perfect as mine.

Yesterday was also a sad day, as I said goodbye to Megumi, a Japanese friend of mine, who I have become pretty good friends with, and a few others who's company I have enjoyed this semester. Megumi leaves for Japan again on Friday, and I won't see her until then. I wish her the best of luck, safe travels, and am sure she will go far in life.

And that's it for the updates for today. This was meant to be short, but unfortunately I've taken longer than I meant to. I hope you'll all forgive me. Thank you for coming out, and as always, leave any comments you would like. Have a great day!"

With that said, she smiles for the camera's one last time, then steps down from the podium, and quickly makes her way back behind the curtain, thinking to herself that today it was very tough to speak English, and not German. She takes it as a good sign, and heads off to get ready for her day.

Still Attacked

2006-02-12T13:23:00.000+01:00

Dear evil germ things, that are making me sick,

I'm STILL SICK.

Seriously.

I mean... can't you little germs/bacteria/virus things just leave me alone?

I know you've looked all over for a nice warm home... but, lets just face it; I am NOT your place. So, stop tickling my throat to make me cough, stop giving me a slight fever, and please, stop zapping all my energy away.

I know this may be hard on both of us, but I think it'd be best if you just moved out.

This is your eviction notice.

You have 1 hour.

Or else I'm seriously going to sick my white blood cells on you even more.

Your not so happy host,

Mindy

i'm sick.

2006-02-09T16:34:00.000+01:00

well. it's thursday, and I'm a bit under the weather. Yeah, I know, its not too interesting for the rest of the world to know. but I thought I'd share anyways. Taking it easy, and planning on spending the rest of my evening working on papers that are due soon.

I checked out my stats today for this site, and I learned that quite a bit of people are actually visiting me... at least quite a bit for my standards... That's cool. Also, seems some people are visiting from Germany, which makes sense, since I am here in Germany. Also a few from Britain...and it seems one from Columbia.

unfortunately it seems that most people load my site, don't find it interesting, then move on. curiously, I wonder if some of those people are germans who don't speak english and just move on for that reason. I think I'm going to look into a tool I once found for translating your blogs into german. So, keep an eye out, I'll probably start translating my blogs soon into German as well.

Now, I should probably find something more interesting to write about than me complaining about being sick as well. :)

Another Day, Another Paper

2006-02-06T11:24:00.000+01:00

She sighs, staring at her computer screen. How does she explain what she needs to explain in this paper? She's not even sure how she'd say it in English, let alone German.

Bah. Her mind goes blank, and she surfs the internet momentarily.

She averages about a paper a day it seems, now that there are only two weeks left of the semester. And soon she's going to go eat lunch before her friend leaves.

"Guess that means I better get crackin," she thinks to herself, sighing.

Another day, another paper.

Just a Girl

A Sad Goodbye

Wrong Link

Just in Case

Respect

My New Home

My First Night

Strange Country

I'm back.

T minus 25 hours and counting.

spain still

MALLORCA!

Over? What? *sigh* not yet

I have no brain power to title this post

oops

YAY!

Anybody there?

I'm a Goner

Dude, did you just hear that - Germany got 3rd Place?

My Travels

Dissapointment

Reflections: 1 Year Blogging & (soon) I Year in Germany

Diablo

The Davinci Code: The Last Supper

It's Official

The Davinci Code: Fact vs Fiction

Story Time

Flashback: Paris

Stuff

Frustration

So... It's been a while

WM

There aren't enough..

Preliminary Observation, Day 1

I have a website

So... This is Boring

Bird Park Pics

Life Is

Senior What?

Updates

Once Upon A Time

I'm in Debt

Life Is Not Cool

Adjusted

Aww, the joys of "summer"

crazy sickness

I've Given In

un-miserable

miserable.

Someday

Hausaufgaben

Gorillas

Not Enough Hours

The Last Two Weeks - Part 3 (Paris, and Geneva)

The RESULTS

Ha!

I'm Better Now

grammar

I [kind of sort of don't really] hate history.*

The Last Two Weeks - Part 2 (Lodon)

Help

The Last Two Weeks - Part 1

i'm tired

A Day in my Life

I'm GREAT!

Doctor Visit # 1

Update on Dizzy Spells

Songtext Whitney Houston - I will always Love you - Lyrics von Whitney Houston - Klingelton Whitney Houston - mp3 Download Whitney Houston

Goals

Movies

Jogging

I found a place!

They're Ba-ack!

It'll be okay

bummed

Movie at 11 PM - Real Begin TIme =11:40

GOOD NEWS!!

History, Harry Potter, the Zoo, and Working Out.

Typo Correcto

Updates

Over? What? sigh not yet