I am

On a chily January night, I hop onto the Saarbahn* for the short trip from Johanniskirche to my home. I've got my boyfriend's MP3 player on, and I'm lost in the music, life couldn't be better. A minute or two into the ride, I feel a pair of eyes on me, as if I'm being watched. Partially annoyed, my eyes search the passengers, and eventually I make eye contact with you. You realize you've been caught, and quickly look away. I wonder why it is you were staring, before looking back out the window and going back to my music.

Five minutes later I feel as if I'm being watched again, but this time it is another passenger, a short distance from the two of us. Once again, as I make eye contact the person looks away. I wonder what it is I'm doing that is causing the staring. I quickly do a mental check of myself, to make sure I don't have something embarrasing stuck to my clothing. All's clear, I think, and once again look away.

Then, there it is again, a third time I catch someone looking at me. I decide this can't be coincidence, and I wonder again what it is they're looking at. As I get off at my stop and start to trek towards our apartment, I realize what it is... and I send a little message note to all those who may be listening...

Yes I am that girl. I am that girl that you stared at today. Yes, it was my knee you saw bouncing in time with the music no one else could here. Yes it was my lips which were singing along to a song no one else knew. Yes, it was English I was singing to, in case you hadn't noticed. Yes, I seem to be off in my own little world, bopping away to nothing. No, despite the way it looks, I am not oblivious to my world. You see, the music helps me to relax on my trip from the University to home.... but it also makes my other senses stronger. I saw you staring at me. I know there was a woman on the Saarbahn who lives half a block away from me. How do I know? I pay attention to my surroundings. I'm not oblivious. So next time, don't stare so hard, please. After all, I am just that girl who is happy and can't help rocking out to her music. Even if no one else can hear it.

You'd think these people have never seen a girl with an MP3 player before.

Or maybe they just haven't seen an American with an MP3 player before.

Oh well.

* the Saarbahn is the local streettrain here in Saarbruecken.

New Link

My friend Kelleen, who is from the USA too and goes to school over here with me, started up a blog recently. The postings are in English, even though the title is in German. I linked to her site in my side bar, so click on "Denken in Saarbruecken" (Thinking in Saarbruecken) and check it out!

Ain't Life Sweet?

Her head pounded, and she shivered in the cold winter air as she stood waiting at the bus stop for her ride. The last three hours had been spent in her Intro to Philosophy class, doing her best to absorb the lesson which was being taught in German, and to write it down at the same time without missing anything. Her paper was full of blank lines where she had missed a word, but thanks to a friend she was able to fill in the blanks, and though her day had been long, she was still happy it was over, and excited to start the weekend. It was Friday evening.

After about ten minutes her boyfriend finally arrived in their rented dark gray car, which just so happened to have no CD player. Saddened by the no CDs idea, they were off on a three hour drive north to visit their friend Tiff again. Soon she was lost in random music being played on the radio, and before she knew it they were there, for an evening of relaxation.

After a few laughs at, "The Monster-in-Law" film, the three headed off to the very popular restaurant Mr. Jones, to have a late night drink (no worries: she only had one drink, and she is old enough here in Germany to drink).

The next morning was passed in a blur of sleep, as the three enjoyed their lazy Saturday. Finally, after much relaxing, they hit the Pizza place for some 4 in the afternoon breakfast. Then it was off to the Commisary, where they sell all sorts of American food for the same price as in America to Army Personnel. They roamed the store, getting excited over cookies, and peanut butter, and cereal, just like they were little kids told they had 50 dollars to spend at a toy store. Finally, their items settled on, it was back to drop off the groceries atTiff's apartment, then over to Siegen, where his parent's lived to spend the night.

That afternoon and evening were spent eating good food, and having some good laughs. The girl played the role of translator for Tiff, who spoke no German. Late that night it was into bed agian, and Sunday morning was spent much like Saturday - in a blur of sleeping, and laziness.

Sunday afternoon it was up and down stairs mulitple times back in Giessen, as everyone moved another load of Tiff's stuff from her apartment to her new room in the Barracks. Then it was down the stairs and to the car for Mindy and Fabian; their hands full of the american groceries they had bought, their "little taste of home" in the middle of Germany.

Now it's sitting around after classes, knowing the bedroom needs to be cleaned, resisting the urge to pig out on those oh-so-delicious chocolate chip cookies which you can't buy in Germany, as her favorite country songs play over her CD Player. The chorus of the song catches her attention, as she decides that it fits to her life. Soon she's singing along at the top of her lungs, "oooo-ooooo, ain't life sweet?" and deciding that she can in fact, resist those cookies and clean like she should.

Come one, Come all!

She awakes early in the morning, much early than usual. The alarm is buzzing it's morning call. She lifts her head up just far enough to make out the clock time, it reads 7:25 am. Too early. She groans and changes it to radio, rolling back over and pretending to go back to sleep.

An hour later, with a sigh she gets out of bed, to check her e-mail before her busy day begins. While there she remembers the stat-counter she signed up for, to keep an eye on how her blog is doing. Excitedly she goes to check it. She holds her breath as the page loads, waiting to see if she has had as many people looking this week as it seems. Suddenly, there it is, her website-statistics.

The site reads based on cookies kept on others' computers. According to her stats, last Wednesday she got 17 visitors! 7 of those 17 were new visitors. She grins, and goes immediately to share it on her blog. She then happily bounds off, with a smile on her face, and a bounce in her step. Her agenda today includes, cleaning, packing, meeting a friend for some hot chocolate, and going to class. Then it is off to her friend Tiff's place in Giessen once more, for a weekend of fun.

But most importantly, people are actually finding her blog somehow: despite the fact that she doesn't seem to be listed ANYWHERE when you google "Just a Girl" or even her blog name with a combination of her nickname or the blogger.com site. Tragic, but not so bad after all.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Nerves

Her hands shake as she takes a seat in class. She nervously straightens her stack of papers, and takes another drink of water to quench her unquenchable thirst. The teacher turns to her and says, "Willst du anfangen?" "Ja..." she answers, taking a deep breath.

The next 15 minutes she spends in front of the class discussing elephants, her chosen topic for the presentation. She tries her best to take her time, still her shaking hands, and explain adequately in German all the information she should gather. The class sits around hardly interested, but with several reassuring nods from the teacher, she feels positive that at the very least her ideas were getting across well enough to be understood. Soon enough it's over and she goes to take her seat. Suddenly she remembers she was supposed to ask for questions, and a few people come up with some. Feeling confidant she then goes on to explain several other items she forgot in her speech, which she finds incredibly interesting. Finally she sits down, and the class goes on.

Later that evening she is off to her friends dorm room, in order to watch the great Disney movie: Aladdin. A couple of hours later she heads home, Disney songs playing over and over in her head, looking forward to a new day full of promises.

All in all a good day, she would say if someone asks. A bit tough, scary and nerve-racking, but completed, over, and done. A day of breathing normally again is in order for this girl. She's earned it.

well, the weekend is over... and now i have to do homework. but i really don't want to do it, so i thougt i'd drop a quick line about how the weekend went:

it was tons of fun. we got there friday at about 5, then went to Frankfurt after picking my friend Tiff up. we had star bucks, then ate at this Chinese place... and then went back to Giessen. Saturday we went to Marburg, which is a beautiful town where my boyfriend grew up before they moved to Saarbruecken. I'll post pics later. Sat. night Fabian went to pick up his mom at an airport and bring her back to Saarbruecken, and I stayed at Tiff's. We watched part of the old Bewitched series, and then went to bed (i got to lay in bed and read a magazine: IN ENGLISH!). We got up super early, and came to Saarbruecken by train today. She stayed for about six hours, and now is on her way back.

We are planning on going and visiting her next weekend, and the weekend after that she may be coming down here for the weekend. After that she may or may not be going to Iraq, we don't really know yet.

And now, I'm sad because my weekend of being unproductive is over: I have to do homework again, and I really really really don't want to. and i'm sad because my friend went home: but i get to see for the next couple of weekends, so i'm not too sad. :) off i go, to be productive!

Advice for the Day

Advice for the Day:

Don't start a new "get healthy and excercise" plan the week before your expecting to get PMS, especially when it is a week in which you have a million things to do, because you are studying in germany, and in germany end of semester time is when you do ALL of your work (papers, tests, presentations) for your final grade in all of your classes. why not start then? Because you will survive a week, barely, and then will just stop caring.

yep... attempt two at excercising/eating right failed already. oops. do you know whats sad though? Right now I don't even care. Right now I have too much other stuff to do.

Here's my to do list:

1. Proofread my paper for Conversation, (paper is in German)
2. Have Fabian proofread my paper, print out and hand in on Monday.
3. Finish writing, and proofread my paper (in german) for Phonetics.
4. Have Fabian proofread my paper, print out and hand in on Tuesday.
5. Research, Translate, and create posters for presentation in German Language Course on Elephants. Presentation is on Wednesday.
6. E-mail Advisor at NDSU with research proposal on Elephants, to get his feedback before I start my research soon.
7. E-mail professor here about our Final test, which is a spoken test in April.
8. Sign up to get an "I was in this class" report for another class.
9. Come up with a research project/research for my 19th Century Novels Class.
10. Find out when my test for that class is.
11. Start Elephant research.
12. Write paper for my final grade in Philosophy.
13. Study for all other tests.
14. Write other papers/homework required by February 18.

Yep... that's about it, more or less. Oh, the first five things are due next week, so they are the worst, and top on my list. This weekend, on Friday we are going to Giessen to spend the Friday evening, and Saturday with her. She may be coming over on Sunday too. She is back from Iraq due to Asthma, and I'm super excited to see her.... but, I have so much to do and am so stressed out. Plus we have to finish cleaning the apartment.

PMS and stress don't mix. sigh. it'll be okay.

Broken Nose

I'm squating next to my cabinet of jeans early on Wednesday morning, searching for the jeans that I should wear that day, when suddenly the well known sound of a new text message chirps from my cell phone. I wonder who it is that is texting me so early (9:30 am for me is early these days) as I reach for the phone and flip it open.

Upon opening it, and pressing a few buttons I reach the message. After reading it once through, I read it agian to make sure I understood what was written there. Quickly I message him back, and then eagerly await his reply. About four rounds of text message later, the situation is finally clear to me.

Fabian works with handicapped people for his Civil Service. One of the people he works with is about 18 years old, and 6 feet tall. The man's disability causes him to throw tantrums and hurt people sometimes. Because of this, Fabian is usually involved a few times a week, in restraining him while someone administers medizine to help. This day was no exception. At the breakfast table, the man grabbed Fabian's shirt, ripping it partially down the front. The man continued in this fashion, so Fabian and another worker held him down. The other worker quickly went to get some medizine, leaving Fabian momentarily alone. Quite used to the routine, Fabian held both arms and legs down all at once. The head was free however. In one split second Fabian moved his head just a little too close to the other mans. The other man saw this as his way to get free, and brought his forehead up to the Fabian's nose.

With a large crack, and lots of blood his nose was broken.

Two days later, on Friday, we were at a nearby hospital at 7:15 am. Fabian had the first surgery of his entire life that day, to straighten out his nose. He went in at 8 am. At 9:20 he came out with a white cast on his nose. For this broken nose he has gotten out of work for a week and a half. He goes back to the doctor this upcoming Friday to see if he has to go back to work next week or not. The best part for Fabian? He still gets paid, even though he isn't working.

I give up

I have been trying to redo my blog's look, but since I can't get what I want to work, and can't make up my mind about what does work, i give up: this is the way my blog looks... for now anyways.

Under Construction

Hey everyone. My site will be under construction over the next few days, so please excuse the way my blog momentarily looks! Until later!

I'm a grown up?

So... though it may seem super early, I just completed my application for an apartment on campus back in the states for the next school year. After looking through the options, talking it over with my boyfriend and my parents, we all decided....

I'm (hopefully) going to be living in a one bedroom, one bath (w/a kitchen, living room and "work area/dining room") starting next August, 2006. The apartment is unfurnished, but my parents promised they could get it almost (if not completely) furnished with random hand-me-downs from family members, no problem. Which is fine by me: I don't care what it looks like, if its free: I'll take it.

Then I read the housing contract... heat, and water are included in the rent... but i have to pay for cable, electricity, phone and possibly the internet (i think wireless is available for free, but i'm not sure). plus, of course, household items (like soap to wash my dishes, and laundry, and toiletry items, etc.

now, i have no problem with this at all: i'm happy i get to move into an apartment (provided i get one.. i won't know until this summer). but, does this all mean that i'm a grown-up?

it's sort of scary: i've never had an apartment before: only dorms. here's to growing up.

A setback, already!?!?

As I woke up this morning, my eyes opened onto a beautiful blue sky, the sun shining on the roof of the building across the street. I yawned and snuck out of my room quietly with a book to enjoy a nice breakfast. When the cereal was poured, and the milk was settled nicely around it, I dug in with my spoon and took a bite of that delicious taste of Honey and Nut Flakes. I complained to Ellen, who was sitting with me at the table, of being tired but unable to sleep more, and she told me, "Dann bist du faul, nicht muede," (then your lazy, not tired) "Du muss nur etwas machen, dann bist du nicht mehr muede." (you just have to do something, then you won't be tired anymore). To which I replied, that I didn't want to admit that I was lazy. After a few second pause I added that it was okay to be lazy now, because later I was going to be productive.

After a bit more conversation it was off to the living room, to curl up on the couch with Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, which is my second to last required book for my 19th Century Novels Course. I'm on page 100, give or take, out of several hundred, and so far it seems to be the best I've read. It was during this morning reading that I discovered what I already knew: I'm sick.

It started last night, when we went to return bottles to the grocery store (germany pays you for recycling. it's awesome.) and I felt a bit under the weather. Sometimes this happens, and it usually just means I need to eat some food. So, about an hour later I was curled up on our couch with a 6 inch Chicken Terryaki on Parmesan Oregano bread (ahh.. subway. a funny story, i'll have to tell in another posting sometime). After this delicious meal, I still felt under the weather... worse in fact. So, off to bed I went, to watch some TV. We had been planning on seeing Jar Head last night in English at 11, so when Fabian got home after picking our friend up, I told him I felt a bit sick. After talking it over, I decided to go to the movie anyways... the movie was great, by the way. I recommend it, though it isn't necessarily one for kids. There isn't much blood and guts, but one guy is shot and dies (though it is a clean death) and there are a lot of people that are charred black, and dead. There is also a lot of swearing. Home we came, and better I felt...

So, it was back to bed I came, around 11 this morning, and asleep I went. I'm feeling a bit better now, though still sick. The sad thing is that today is the start of my new get in shape plan, and though I'm not deathly ill, I know I'm a bit too sick to go power walking. My plan is to take a nice leasuriely walk, instead.

But here's my question. Why am I sick now when I have spent the last two weeks being home with nothing to do, and plenty of time to get sick and healthy again. I mean, I don't have time now: Uni starts again tomorrow. But, I suppose... it'd be way too easy to have been sick then.

bah.

Yawn

Good morning. It is currently 11 am here in only remotely chilly Germany (temp is just below freezing), and I am still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Ahh...life is beautiful (at least until Mon. morning when I have class at 8:15 am at the Uni)!


So, as you all know, I've been majorly slacking in my excercising, (by majorly slacking I mean that I've done nothing for the last two weeks). So, I went out and bought a book about getting in shape/healthy, and did tons of research online... and here is what I've come up with:

1. I plan on either going walking (power walking) at least three times per week, eventually reaching five times per week when possible for at least a half hour duration. I figure I can carve out half an hour each day, and after all: the experts say the healthiest thing to do is to do 30 minutes of cardiovascular work out each day. Very likely I might walk a few days, and jog a few days... or maybe walk a few days and bike a few days, or swim, I guess i'm not really sure yet.. basically i'm just keeping it open so that in a month or two when i get bored and tired of working out, I can switch my routine up a little to keep it interesting still. As of right now I've decided on power walking because it puts less strain on the joints, and because though I'm in better shape than when i started last fall, my cardiovascular fitness sucks, so I want to slowly work myself into better shape now w/walking, and will consider changing to jogging later (because I actually enjoy jogging. i never thought i'd say that in my entire life).

2. I'm also planning to do strengthening excercises at home two to three times per week, in order to start toning my muscles. If I'm going to work in a zoo, I need to be in good physical shape, and I am definitely not in good physical shape now. Just because I'm thin, doesn't mean I'm healthy.. so with some excercises for my back, my arms, my abs, and maybe my thighs, I'm hoping to just start toning in general. My goal for next year then, when I'm back in college, is to take advantage of our free gym for students, and work on getting stronger.... so that when I graduate college a year and a half later I should be in great shape for my future career.

3. Starting this week I am also going to eat healthier. I'm hoping Fabian will join me in this part (I think he will). I figure that the best thing to do is to just start trying to follow the food pyramid guidelines (and also what my book says that I bought) and to just start changing our food habits peice by peice. My goal for next week is to not overeat (to stop eating when I am full) and to eat at least 2 cups of fruit each day. If you go to www.mypyramid.gov
the US Department of Agriculture has put up a nice website where they will tell you how much of each food group you should be eating for your activity level, age, and sex. I'm not 100% sure if it includes the food pyramid updates from 2005, but it seems to be a good way to get a general idea on how to eat healthier.

4. So, as of right now: here is my plan for next week:
sun-15 min. power walking
mon-karate 1.5 hours
tues-15 min. power walking
wed-strength toning
thurs-15 min. power walking
fri-strength toning
sat-rest day

i'm only doing 15 min. of walking each day, because i'm out of shape... so i'll be working up to half an hour. yeah, so there are my goals for the week! To eat more fruit, to eat only when I'm hungry, and to follow my workout schedule. I think I can do it!

It feels good to be excited about working out again. I like the idea of getting into shape, and I really hope I can start building these habits now that I will keep in my lifestyle. And who knows? Maybe eating better, and being healthier in general will help with my acne?

Here's a christmas pic from the two of us in our living room next to our tree, with real candles. I love Christmas. Merry Late Christmas everyone: again. 

I'm JUST LIKE HER!

So, i was watching King of Queens today, (yes, in german.. and in case you are wondering, their voices sound diffrent, but not funny different: just different :) ). Anyways... I was watching King of Queens today, and it was an episode where Carrie doesn't work and is staying at home, and that she does nothing when she is at home. That instead of doing everything she wants to, she just sits around.

That. Is. So. ME.

I say I have all this stuff that I want to do, but then I never do it... at least not when I have whole days free with nothing to do.

But I've said it before: I'm WAY more productive when I have a busy life. I would never survive as a stay at home mom... well, maybe I would: but I guess, I won't know that until I someday have kids.

anyways. just thought I'd tell you that I'm like Carrie. However, I don't feel too bad. My theorie: I have my productive days and my unproductive. They just come in shifts: two productive weeks, two unproductive weeks, and so on.

is anyone else like that?

Mesmirized

At ten to midnight we trek out through the melting snow and water covering the roads and fields. We walk past a house with all its lights on, into a dark, wet field where no one else has come. We set down our 100 Euros worth of supplies on garbage bags to make sure they don't get wet. The bottles are filled, the lighter is ready.
Finally its time, and the ten second countdown begins. At 9 seconds to midnight the first two rockets are lite, and Fabian is going for the third when the first two scream into the air, at exactly midnight.

All around us at the same time rockets explode in the air in a miriad of colors. Behind us the church bells start to ring. We wish eachother happy new years and give a round of hugs, and then I stand there, in that wet, dark, cold, field on a hillside overlooking the town, and I'm just mesmerized.

I realize as I listen to the church bells, and watch all of the fireworks go off all around me, that there is nothing better than this. I hope everyone got to spend their new years with their loved ones, doing something that they love and enjoyed.

Me? I got to spend my New Years with Fabian, our friends, and too many fireworks in a country I'm in love with. I'm the luckiest person in the world!

Happy New Year!