My Life

The new year always brings with it a sense of rejuvination. It is a time to reevaluate the life you've been living and compare it with the one you want to live. A time to reflect, and change... to consider life's big questions.

Being the 20 year old college student that I am, I should be invigorated right now. I should be excited to start this new chapter of my life that the next year will bring: after all, the next year will find me back in America.. and what a huge change that will be! It will also find me closer to graduation of college, a dream I have always had...

and there you have it. college. graduation. Two words that send both fear and pride into the heart of a college kid. Pride that they've come this far, that they've passed all those dumb Biology tests and can now move onto the real world. Fear that the real world will be too real for them, that they'll find a job they'll hate, or that they'll not find a job at all... and the biggest one of all: fear that they still won't know what the heck they will do with their lives.

Now, myself, I've always been one who could look at those people who still didn't know what they want towards the end of their college careers, and say, "At least I know what I want to do." However... after six months in a foreign country, and some realistic thinking on my part, I'm no longer so sure. And so, my big question this new years is: What am I going to do with my life?

For the last few days I've been kicking around the idea of working with domestic (such as dogs or cats) animals in some way, shape, or form after college. I've looked into becoming a guide dog trainer for seeing impaired people, or for hearing impaired people. I've also thought about becoming a general dog trainer, or perhaps a behavior consultant for pets. While all these ideas are a bit more realistic and attainable for me (after all, I've already had three years experience working with pets) they haven't given me that gut feeling of, "that would be so cool to do." That feeling that working there/in that field is e.x.a.c.t.l.y. where God wants me to be...

So, the search goes on, as I realize that every time I consider working with elephants in some way shape or form: my heart gives a little extra beat and I can read/peruse information for hours at a time, without being a bit bored. Or, if we take it in even a broader sense, everytime I look into internships or job listing on the American Zoo and Aquarium Association website, my heart also does a little bit of a dance at the thought that maybe I could work there someday.

There is a small problem with this idea however, a problem that sometimes causes me to doubt that this career path is something I should follow. And that is my physical form. I have problems with my shoulders, which doesn't allow me to have my hands above my head for a long (long being about 1 minute, maybe) period of time.... and because of this problem I also have very weak upper body/shoulder strength. Also, I don't tolerate extreme heat or cold very well... Working with elephants, or at any zoo in general is a very physically demanding job. One where you are expected to lift at least 50 lbs, and to work outside in any type of condition: rain, snow, sleet, hail... the list goes on.

But when I think about working with the animals... about helping to ensure that they have a proper diet, and proper living conditions, I get excited. When I think that I could maybe help to create better habitats for our captive wild animals, or that I could perhaps study the behavior of the captive animals, I get excited. Or when I think that maybe I could be that person presenting information about our animals to the guests at the zoo, that maybe I could help to spread the education about these great organisms that we share our world with... I get excited.

I think I just found out what to do with my life.

Now, all I have to do is to get experience (that's hard: can't get a job w/out experience, can't get experience without a job idea), graduate college, and eventually find a job... oh, and of course work on my physical fitness... guess i'll be hitting the gym a lot back at NDSU.

If I can volunteer at our zoo in North Dakota as a volunteer keeper for the year and a half I have left of college there, that will help a bunch. Maybe after college I can then get another internship or something from somewhere... for six months or so (or work full time and continue zoo volunteering) until I get enough education/experience to get myself some sort of job someplace....

I guess I just have to trust in God that if working in a zoo/with elephants is where He wants me, then it'll all work out. I feel much more peaceful about all this now than I have in the last several months.

Happy New Year everyone!

Double Feature

I know I just posted, but I'm posting again. Why? Because I have more to say, and didn't want to say it all in that super huge post.

Yesterday fabian and I went to Landstuhl, where the largest air base for America is in Germany, Ramstein, and where a movie theater with a couple English movies always playing is. We first saw Cheaper by the Dozen Two, staring Steve Martin. It is the sequel to the first movie, Cheaper by the Dozen. This time Steve Martin, his wife, and twelve kids go to spend a weekend at a lake in Wisconsin, where they get into a lot of competition with another family who has eight kids. The movie stars all (or at least most) of the original actors and actresses from the original movie, which makes it that much better. I hate sequels without the normal actors/voices. The movie is quite funny, better than I expected, but not necessarily one to see in the theater, in my opinion.

After that we also stayed and watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Now, for those of you who read the book, I haven't, so I can't tell you how it compares to the book. But I can tell you that I found it simply magnificent. It incorporates comedy, action, and suspense along with a huge dose of imagination and was very well done. All the creatures look very realistic, and the acting was great. It has some scary parts, and some killing, though there is never any blood or guts. I jumped more than once, and am not sure it is a suitable movie for very young children.

I'm really impressed by all of the wonderful movies which are coming out now, that are or were children books.... movies that are great for us adults too, which remind us of what it was like to use our imaginations, and gives us an excuse to read a book, or see a movie originally meant for younger people. Movies which let us be a kid again (not that I myself am really old).

Also, thanks to these movies I now have a list of ones I want to read to my kids someday:

Harry Potter
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
A Series of Unfortunate Events

What good children books will be next, that I will have to add to my list? Animorphs? It's great to see good movies coming out again, instead of only the stupid remakes or sequels to movies that we don't need or necessarily want remakes or sequels to.

So, kudos to you Hollywood! Please, keep up the good movie making.

Grandparents

In my last post I alluded to spending three days, and surviving, in a house full of chain smokers... those chain smokers would be Fabian's grandparents on his mom's side.

Their names are Hans and Gabi, two very typical German names. They live in a small village named Muensingen, which is south east of here, in Bayern. The city itself is in the alps, and the whole area is simply gorgeous.

We left here on Christmas afternoon (we meant to leave Christmas morning) and took a nice drive through some gorgeous, small towns on our way into the mountains. Except that they aren't really called towns in german. In german one of these small towns would be called a "dorf" which means village, because they really are just small villages. Anyways, after a four hour drive we arrived at our location, a tiny little house in Muensingen. And by tiny, I really mean, tiny. You walked into the kitchen. Attached to the kitchen was his grandparent's bedroom and a bathroom (where the sink and tub were). From the kitchen you go into a hallway/dining area, and from there you go straight into the living room. Attached to the living room is the toilet room (yes, in germany they have usually a separate room for the toilet, which is literally only a toilet, and is usually unheated and cold in winter). That's it. That's all they had. A cute little house for two people, a bit cramped for the five that were now in it.

Also, upon entering the house you notice their decorating style. What is it, you ask? I like to call it, "mixed art." In other words, all sorts of random things hanging on the wall, with a mixture of furnishing styles also, and everything. Very very interesting to look at, to say the least (actually, it made it kind of homely).

So, we got there around eight-ish I think, and after a quick hello, ate some dinner (bread with stuff on it, yum! {no really, it is yummy! they have the best bread down there.. we bought three loaves to bring home with us}). Over dinner I got told a brief history of Hans, Ellen's biological father (Gabi is only her step mom). He lived in an area (I don't remember which) that was part of Germany back in the 1940's, but which isn't any more. When he was about eight years old or so, they were forced to flee the area due to Russian bombing. Him and his family then boarded one of the two boats which were waiting to take them to Denmark (i believe). They boarded one boat, and were on their way: the other boat got hit with a bomb, and everyone on board died. They were so blessed to have gotten on this boat and not the other! From Denmark they eventually made their way to the southern part of Germany. Fabian's biological Grandma (who now lives in Spain) was also from this former area of Germany and had moved to the south of Germany, where the two met and were married. One of the really spectacular things about this story is that the winter during which they fled, was so cold, that many many people starved or froze to death. Many children passed away as their families fled. It really is a miracle that he (and I think his whole family) survived. I thank God, because had they not: the guy I love so much wouldn't be here today! It really is amazing how things come together, even decades before my birth, to make sure that things are the way they are today. Also, Hans's story is quite sad, and a little more of a personal reminder of how horrible WW2 (and 1) was for all people involved: Russians, Americans, Japanese, Germans... every one. Not just the "good guys."

Anyways, after this story and dinner we went and sat in the living room with everyone and just talked. Hans speaks Schwaebisch, which is the dialect found in Bayern (and hard for even Germans to understand), so I couldn't understand him really at all. Gabi was a bit easier to understand usually. I learned during this time that Ellen had a sister who died in a car accident in 1987, that Fabian's grandparents have the cutest pic of him from when he was like five, and that when Hans was younger they didn't have birth control pills, so they had to be really careful while making love. Yes, you read that right. Like I said, I didn't understand everything and sometimes I would not understand, and then ask what was said, and it would turn out to be something weird. Like talking about birth control. Or another time, I found out that Hans's new name for me was "Mausie beinchen" which means "little, cute mice legs." uh.... don't ask me how he came up with that.... I'm not sure he actually called me that the next few days, but I was termed "Maus" the entire time. I am now a mouse. how cute. actually it was cute.

Fabian and I slept on an air matress in the kitchen. This air matress had a built in pump, but unfortunately, it lost most of the air during the middle of the night, forcing us to repump it at about four or five in the morning. waking everyone up. needless to say, we slept horribly the whole time.

The next morning, after a nice lunch (they eat their big meal in the middle of the day, which is traditional in Germany) we went sight seeing with Hans, and saw all sorts of cool places and towns. We also eventually went to a nice restaurant and had some yummy hot chocolate, desserts, and a wonderfully smoke free atmosphere. :)

The next day we met Gabi's daughter and her children. A cute little 8 year old in third grade who has been learning english for 2 years already, and a cute little ticklish 2 or 3 year old. they were sweet. This time, after lunch, we went driving around to look at the country side with the 8 year old, Tiffanie. On the way up to see some castle ruins (they are everywhere here, i wish america had castles) we got stuck in the snow (I forgot to mention: they had gobs of snow! it was wonderful, except of course the two, yes two times I got shoved into it) and had to push the car. anyways, we then saw the castle, and drove around some more, with the top down, in the winter. we got some crazy looks, but it was fun. and a bit chilly. We also saw a beautiful monestary, light two candles for my friend Tiff in Iraq, and then headed back to the grandparents. That afternoon we left and came back here to Saarbruecken.

It was a lot of fun. His grandparents are extrememly funny, and caring, and all around good people. They talk about the randomest things, and kept us laughing most of the weekend. The worse part was that they smoked, a lot. I swear his grandpa had special cigerattes which smoked more than most of the others. Unfortunately, Ellen also turned from a normal smoker into more of a chain smoker over these three days, so the air inside that house was literally deadly. I absolutely hate cigarette smoke, and even avoid Ellen when she smokes in the apartment, so that was pretty bad. But, we survived, and other than the smoking and bad sleeping, it was lots of fun!

hope everyone else had just as wonderful as a holiday as we had. :)

Merry Christmas

Well, the christmas gifts were a hit, our christmas tree didn't burn down, and we survived three days in a house full of chain smokers... yep, it's official: christmas is over! Ahh.. but what a wonderful christmas it was.

It all started on Christmas eve. Armed with a fresh new haircut, and a cute outfit, we woke up ready to attack the day and all it had to offer us. After a good breakfast we hit the supermarket to get last minute groceries needed for our dinner that night. After spending way more money than we meant to (but we have lots of yummy things to eat now!) we came back home. Shortly after his mom came home from her morning errands and we went back to the supermarket to buy our first Christmas present from Fabian's mom: a new TV for our bedroom. That'll make three TVs in this apartment, for three people... a bit sad, but... well... now we can watch TV in our room if we want!

Then it was back home for his mom Ellen and I and off to work for Fabian (and then off to drop off some gifts for some friends). As soon as Ellen and I got back (and caught our breath from carrying the TV upstairs ourselves... we are awesome) we started to clean, and spent a good couple of hours to clean our apartment.

Then it was a break for me before I hit the christmas tree so that i could call and talk to my family for Christmas. Sadly I couldn't call on Christmas day, but I did the next best thing and called the day before and talked to my loved ones for a good hour and a half (maybe a bit more) before going downstairs to the cellar with Fabian to bring up our Christmas decorations.

Then it was tree decorating time while Fabian looked on and his mom prepared our delicious dinner for that evening. In the middle of the decorating our phone rang... and it was my dad, the one person I hadn't called yet that day. He said they were going to be busy and wanted to make sure they talked to me... also he couldn't wait to tell me the good news he had, so he just had to call me! And what was the good news!?!?

My real Dad and step mom are coming in APRIL TO VISIT ME!!!!

I mean... I'm not excited or anything, I promise. They will arrive here in Frankfurt, Germany on Sat. April 1, in the morning, and will fly out again on Fri. April 14, 2006! I'm super excited that they can come. They got a good deal on tickets, and I can't wait until they get here. We may take a trip to paris, and do some other traveling and sight seeing, and it'll be super fun to show them where I am and everything about my life here.

After me asking them if they are really super, for real coming, it finally sank in, and after a bit longer on the phone I had to go to finish our Christmas tree before it was time to eat....

Finally, the tree was done and the presents (not very many since we are only three people) were underneath, and it was time to eat our dinner. It consisted of a cold spanish soup for apetizer, and then duck, salad, and knoedel (home made... they are balls of potatoes that we don't have in the states. they are delicious) with orange sauce over it all (except the salad of course). it was simply wonderful....

After dinner Ellen went to light the candles on the christmas tree (yes, real candles. it's like extremely dangerous, and i was extremeley nervous the whole time, but we didn't burn the apartment down, or the tree either). then we came in and were told the Christkind (christ child) had been here (the christ kind brings gifts after dinner before gifts on Christmas eve) and we went to open our gifts. Along with the TV from Fabian's mom we each also got real scotland scarfs, from scotland itself. They are super warm, and cute. i also got new watch bands (mine are two years old now), and a photo album for a photo journal of my year. I have a page or two for every week of the entire year I am here in Germany, so I'm looking forward to starting to print out pics and work on my journal!

and well, that's about it... fabian's mom got new lights for the Kitchen, and Fabian got a new cookbook of his favorite chef, Jamie Oliver, from me.... it is a book in English, which is what Fabian always wants, and I stumbled across it and bought it for him. It was hit...

we then went to Midnight Mass at a church here in Germany where we are friends with the Pastor and his family and then came back to sleep. The service was cool (it was lutheran), and in german, and I got to try my hand (or my voice, as it were) at singing along to christmas songs in german i didn't know.

After that it was back here for sleep, a lazy christmas morning (Fabian's mom loved the wall hanging of the Nativity Scene that we gave to here Xmas morning, mom!) and then off to Bayern (the german state where Munich is) to visit fabian's mom's family for three days... they are the ones who smoke, a lot, but they are fun...

i'm being yelled at to hurry up so we can go do some errands, have a great day and our visit to her parent's will be explained next time!

:)

Here is more of a close up view. :) have a Merry Christmas Everyone! 

and here is me with my new haircut that I just got today! I went to the same hairstylist as I had last time, and she seems to be pretty good. I just told her that I had no idea what I really wanted, she came up with an idea, and went with it, and i think it turned out great! :) Let me know what you think! 

Okay. So, here is me with the first haircut that I got when I was in Germany. This haircut was given to me way back in August or September..... 

Is this too much info for you all?

There comes a time, once a month where I am pretty unhappy for about two or three days. Days when the littlest thing will make me sad or lonely or crabby. Days when my boyfriend can just give me a funny look meant to make me laugh and I will just get annoyed at him. Days when all of the world around me can watch my moods swing from one extreme to the other.

These days are known as P.M.S. Yep, that's right... I'm a victim of it. And unfortunately so is my boyfriend (I can usually keep it hidden from other people...). And I'm PMSing right now. I apologize for those of you in my family who don't care to hear the details of PMS... but well, hey. it is a fact of life (and my life is pretty much an open book).

My loneliness and sadness resulting from people unknowingly sitting where I wanted to sit yesterday in class (which lasted an entire day) was caused by PMS. Getting annoyed when I was asked to be quiet and stop talking until the commercials by my boyfriend so he could watch his favorite TV show, even though I was finished talking anyways, was caused by PMS. Waking up crabby this morning for no reason at all, was caused by PMS....

Of course, I don't realize on the first day of PMS that I'm PMSing however. I only have crabby/sad/annoyed thoughts at lots of normal things that wouldn't bug me, and then I'll think things like, "You know, I really have no reason to be so crabby/annoyed/sad. Why am I?" But... even though I know I have no reason, it is there anyways. And then it hits me, in an epiphany type moment. For instance, yesterday around five in the evening. Fabian gives me a hug to cheer me up, and I ask, "Why am I so sad?" And then it hits me. I get my period in exactly one week. "Oh, now that I think about it, I guess I'm PMSing." I say outloud, in an 'i'm-so-happy-i-figured-out-my-problem' voice. My boyfriends reaction? "Go far far away from me, and stay there if you are PMSing." Needless to say, I didn't go far far away... though I don't blame him for his reaction, the poor guy does have to suffer with my horrid moods once a month. If I were him I'd tell me to go away too. :)!

Thankfully, realising I'm pmsing is the first step to overcome it. Because once I know why, there is more of a chance I can stop it. On the bright side, at least I don't get any other ucky symptoms.... those wait until i get my period a week later....

oh the joys of being a woman.

Contemplating Life

I ate cereal for both breakfast, and lunch today... is that bad?

With said cereal, I had milk (because i hardly eat cereal without milk) which was sort of slimy in consistancy and tasted thicker than it should... is that bad?

I've recently learned that my History of christian Church Service class will not be able to get any sort of credit at NDSU when I come back, and even if I would get credit for it, it will not help any of my majors or my German minors. Now, I knew this was a possibility with classes I take here... however this class is extremely boring, and I won't get any credit... I now am seriously considering quitting the class... i have enough other stuff to do with my time than visit a class i don't like and won't get credit for... does contemplating quitting something when its half over make me terrible?

Why, oh why, am I so cold lately? Seriously, My hands are currently like ice cubes, and i'm just plain cold... why? our heat in our room and the temp outside have not changed...

I went to the doc over here, for just a routine check up, and have learned that i may have to get a shot for the German Measles. I guess I didn't know that measles were country specific. So.. since there are German Measles.. is the measles that I got vaccinated against way back when the same thing... or did I only get vaccinated against American measles? well... i have to go for a blood test tomorrow to see if I need a vaccination for the German measles. Considering the doc said it is often given to girls when they are young due to possible complications it could cause during pregnancies when given later in life, I'm hoping i don't need the shot. IMPORTANT NOTE: I am NOT pregnant, nor am I planning on being pregnant any time soon... however, if they usually give it younger in life due to pregnancy problems, i don't want having to get it now to come back and haunt me when I do eventually (read at least 25 if I get it my way, preferrable 27 or 28 years old) have kids.

Found some people I knew in my class today. went to sit by them so I wouldn't be all alone like I usually am in my class. About thirty seconds before I get to the row they are sitting it, two people enter it and take the last two open seats right by my aquantences. the people i knew had seen me, but i'm not sure they realized i wanted to sit by them (they were to far away to yell at)... went away dejectedly and sat alone in the front row. i'm still sad now because now i'm stuck here in the apartment alone until fabian gets home at 4:30.... sigh... getting a bit contemplative in my life while being alone, hence this post.

and, i really am curious... is it bad I ate cereal twice today, with milk that was sort of slimy/thick, but tasted okay? if i get really sick, you all now why, and can sue the milk company (why? because the most, if not all, are americans.. and aren't americans sue happy??) (Just kidding: no one sue the milk company.) (but if you do: make sure to give me all the money.) (okay okay, at least part)....

well... still haven't gotten all the packages out for christmas. I'M SO SORRY WE ARE SO SLOW!!!!!!!!! PLLLLEEAAAAAAAAASSSSEEE FORGIVE US! hopefully they'll be out before this weekend.

MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS!

Yoga for Christians?

Hello hello. So, as you all know, I have recently started doing Yoga once, maybe twice, per week. During my very first Yoga class, we did a variety of stretches and poses. Physically I was exhausted but more energized. Mentally I was unsure and feeling a bit funny. Our stretches felt wonderful (and painful) and I knew instantly that if I did the regularly they would put me into better shape. However, mentally I didn't and still don't agree with some of the things my yoga instructor says.

For instance, in the beginning of each yoga session we say "OM." OM isn't actually a word, it is a sound that, according to a variety of sources, is made up of "A" "U" and "M." Each sound represents different things. "A" represents the waking state of concsciousness, "U" represents the dream state of consciousness and "M" represents the deep sleep state of consciousness. While repeating the word repiticiously, there is a silence between the words (however short) this represents a stage of Pefect Bliss in which 'the individual self recognizing his identity with the supreme.' (found: here) Now... all of you know the comical picture of someone sitting with their legs crossed, hands on both knees or in a prayer position, and saying OM and how it seems a bit comical of a picture (at least it is portrayed in that way on TV/in society it seems). Needless to say, I had to stop myself from laughing at the picture of 10 of us doing so that first day of yoga. At the time I didn't know all that about "OM" but I had a feeling in my gut that it wasn't something for me.

After that I kept an open mind during my first Yoga class, and also an open ear to listen to what else this teacher was going to say. At various times he talked about the energy running through us from different places, about us sending energy from one part of our body to another. For instance when we rub our hands together quickly we are creating energy. Actually, in a biological sense I suppose this is true: the movement creates heat which is a form of energy. But I sense he was talking of a different energy than that of heat. Another good example is during a pose in which one hand is flat on the ground and the other hand is reaching into the sky. He talked about how we should 'feel the energy run through us from the Eath to the Heavens' (or perhaps from Heaven to Earth, I don't remember exactly). Here I also felt a little weird...

There were other examples that first day, and since then, in which he talked of something about energy flowing from here to there, or in which he played eastern style spiritual music, or in which he chanted in another language (not German orEnglish, an eastern language but I don't know which).

Now, first let me say that I have absolutely nothing against any Eastern Religion. I am not here to say that Christianity is better than any other religion or to say that chanting "OM" and believing in energy from the Earth/Sky etc. can not be right and a good thing to the right people. In short, I want you to all know that I am not here to pass judgements on any other religion or way of life as it relates to any other person. I can only say that for my own self, based on my research and my prayers to God and what I believe for me.

So, my question this morning is, can Christians peform Yoga? Since yoga was and is part of a spiritual practice, many people say that it is impossible to remove the excercises of yoga with the spiritual things it teaches. Meanwhile other Christians say that it is possible to use the postures of yoga in a Christian viewpoint in order to get the benefits of yoga without the spiritual teachings of Yoga which are generally at odds with Christian teachings.

So, can Christians peform yoga? Or more correctly, should christians perform yoga? I guess I'm sort of in the middle of the arguement, myself. Unlike some people, I don't believe doing Yoga opens up my mind to demons. However, I also don't like listening to all of the spiritual parts of yoga that my instructor talks about, and tend to ignore that part of Yoga and replace it with my own prayers to the God I believe in. I think it is possible to take the yoga positions separately from the spiritual part of yoga, and to still get the health benefits of Yoga. When I have done Yoga a few times at home alone, I have susbstituted the eastern style music with my own praise music, the "OM" chanting with prayer, and have equated the movements of the different positions (such as the Sun Salutation, a series of movements which are meant to worship the sun more or less) with praising God.

However, with doing my research this morning I have realized that I am only doing Yoga for two main reasons. The first is that I want to get into better shape, to strengthen all parts of my body as well as find peace - peace in the way of having both a healthy body and mind. Secondly, I started Yoga only because I wanted to try something new... with this in mind I stumbled upon a website which was against yoga for the Christian and they said something that makes sense to me. There are plenty of excercise regimes/ways of strengthening and toning your body which don't include any sort of spiritual undertones.

So, will I continue to do Yoga? At the very least I will continue through the end of the semester (in February) with my class. I paid for the time, I enjoy the physical aspects, and I feel that it isn't wrong for me to do yoga. However, I will also continue to ignore the things my instructor says which I don't agree with and make it into a time of prayer and thanksgiving to God. Beyond that: who knows. There are some things we have done which would be wonderful to my abs, or arms or back, etc. which I may still use to strengthen my body... things which i may use at home in order to strengthen the parts of my body which need it. And, ultimately I want to go back to jogging... I've missed jogging lately, the way I could just throw on some clothes and go at any time during the day... how i could let the jogging quiet my thoughts which always are my downfall and how instead I could use that time to think of the meaning of Bible verses or to prayer to God or both. I miss the energy it gave me when I kept up my three days a week too... and I am seriously considering breaking down in January and buying the right type of clothes for me to go jogging outside in the winter.

so... is yoga for christians? my answer would be that parts of it are.... and parts of it aren't. But that's only my opinion, and the only one my opinionis good for, is for me... everyone is responsible for finding their own opinion on the topic.

Week 7, 8, 9

I've been forgetting these, so I'm going to get up to date real quick on my excercising. Week 7 I was a bit under the weather, so that is why I only worked out one day....

Week 7
Sun - Thursday: Nothing
Friday: Yoga
Saturday: nothing

Week 8
Sun: Nothing
Mon: Karate
Tues: Nothing
Wednesday: Nothing
Thursday: Nothing
Friday: Yoga
Saturday: Nothing

(I couldn't go swimming, I had my monthly friend.. joyful joyful).

Week 9
Sun: Nothing
Mon: Nothing
Tuesday: Yoga
Wednesday: Nothing
Thursday: Nothing
Friday: Yoga
Saturday: Nothing

I know I know.. I've been lazy. I miss jogging when I could just throw on some clothes and go jogging for 15 minutes and be done. now working out is so much work, and not fun at all anymore.... gonna try to be more motivated next week.

Strasbourg

Hey guys. I realized I forgot to tell everyone about our trip to strasbourg last Saturday. I went with six other people, including my friend from California Kelleen, and it was tons of fun.

Strasbourg is about an hour away from here by car, in France. It is a pretty city with gorgeous buildings... I can't wait to go back there (if your reading this Dad and Bev, I would like to take you guys there when you are here) when it is warmer. We went to see the Weihnachtsmarkt (christmas market) there, which was pretty, though we didn't see too much of it. Our problem was that it was too cold. Usually it feels like Minnesota in the early spring time, when it is just a little chilly. Last Saturday though, it felt like Minnesota in December, the wind was pretty cold. We'd look around the Weihnachtsmarkt for 10 or 15 minutes, then would pop back inside the big Cathedral or the Tourist Office for few minutes, then go back outside, etc. So, we didn't see too much of the Weihnachtsmarkt.

Around 6 we had all had enough of the masses of people that were there and the colder weather, so we decided to go eat. We went to a nice restaurant (though a little expensive. it seems france is expensive. at least in Strasbourg), and had a nice dinner. I had Chicken Cordon Bleu, which was delicious.

We got back to the train station at about 9:10 that night, only to find out that a bus driving us to Saarguemines (a french village that is connected to Saarbruecken by a street train)was leaving in 7 minutes. It took most of the 7 minutes just to learn from people where the bus is. We took off running towards where we were told to go, only to find out that it wasn't our bus. So, we missed it because we couldn't find it. We went back inside to see when the next train was, only to learn that there was no train or bus leaving for Saarguemines that night. Now, you have to understand, this is odd, because in Germany trains run until about 1 or 2 in the morning... particularly in big cities. And Strassbourg is a big city. At least bigger than Saarbruecken, and we have lots of trains running late into the night. So, then we thought about just sleeping in the train station until the next morning. Nope, train station was closed from 1 am to 5 am (also a rare, unnormal occurance). So, then we asked about Youth Hostels (cheap places to stay for students) or hotels.. nope, every single room in the city was booked. So... then we asked how much a taxi would cost. The driver said 100 Euro. No more than 130 tops. Okay, split that between seven people, and it isn't so horrible. Better than roaming the streets (or hanging out in a bar all night, which was also suggested, and I was completely against. no thank you.) so we went home. Except when we got there the meter said 210 Euros. ack. my friend Kelleen (who speaks French fluently) argued a bit with him... and we got it down to 160 Euros (but accidently paid 170).... so that sucked. THen we missed our street train, and had to wait another hour before we could get home.

SO, I finally got home... which was nice. Strasbourg was pretty and I want to go back and see the city more, but now I know that either I should stay overnight there when I go, or that I should go during the week. Crazy train schedules...

fear

so. i just learned what my History of East and West Germany will have for a test at the end of the semester. (note: in german university there is only ONE test at the very end of the semester for your grade. the more advanced classes are a bit different, but for my classes they all will have ONE test and ONE test only over EVERYTHING from the semester). It is going to be a spoken, 20 minute test in which the proffessor asks me questions, and i have to answer them, about anything we talked about in class. the semester is already half over and there is so much stuff. oh, and of course, it will be in german.

i am scared.

OUT.

OF.

MY.

MIND!!

and this is only ONE of my eight classes.

i'm so scared.

somone, please help me.

Right Again

So.. Ellen is back. She came back at about midnight on Friday Night. She was on a business trip for three days.. I guess she went to scotland, and just didn't tell us. hmmm.

well, that's about all the new news I have.... I played my game instead of doing homework... oops. i don't want to work out anymore, blah.. I've lost all my desire to do it. i'm so tempted to just stay home today instead of going to Karate. I just don't have any desire at all.... what I would like to do though... is sleep.

well, that's it. have a great day!

Gone

So. A few days earlier this week, Ellen (that's fabian's mom) was here. That was all good and fine and everything...since she does live here. A few days later... she's not here. We don't know where she is. Or when she'll be back. A few nights ago, I thought it was strange because she hadn't been back yet at midnight.... the next morning I thought I heard her getting ready.... but the next night and last night she didn't come home at all....

now, ellen goes frequently on business trips. that is probably where she is now. but she also usually tells us that she is going. this time? nope. no.. i won't be around for a few days...

she just hasn't been around. strange. i mean.. i don't know if i should be worried or what.

weird.

Death

Okay, so I just updated, but here is another post. This one isn't exactly a positive one, but it is on my mind, and i want to "get it off my chest" so to speak...

as many of you know, my uncle died recently of cancer. He was the brother of my Grandma, and I didn't know him too much, but it still hit me pretty hard after I found out.... then my mom found out that someone she works with, whose husband has cancer also, has taken a turn for the worse...

now, fast forward to this week.

On Tuesday night I dreamed that my mom found out she had cancer in her left thigh. It was too far progressed, and there was nothing we could do but make her comfortable as the cancer took over. My sister and I went to a movie store (a store with movies and lots of other things as well) to pick out decorations to decorate our new apartment/house with. The plan was for audra, mom and I to movie in together in order to take care of mom.... there was nothing we could do for her, and it broke our hearts.

I woke up quite unhappy.

So, here are already two things that have to do with death, and that isn't it. After waking up with the dream about my mom, I opened my Bible to calm myself, and get peace of mind after such a dream... and instead opened right up to a verse about death. Also, there is an online comic strip I read often, and last week (and this week) it has been dealing with the suicide of the father of one of the main characters... as if that wasn't enough my book that I have to read for class ("Mary Barton" by Elizabeth Gaskell) deals constantly with the death of various people...

all in all there has been lots of stuff dealing with death lately. The dream was a result of hearing about bad things dealing with Cancer...A death of someone you know, even someone you don't know very well, always reminds you about the mortality of you and your loved ones... i think this reminder showed itself in my dream... and all the other things were more or less coincidences I think. I think they are each a reminder to enjoy life and time with people as much as i can, because life is always so short...

everything happens for a reason... and perhaps, for whatever reason, i needed this reminder... but, i think i got the point now: can things stop dealing with death?

okay. next time, I promise this will be a happier posting!

Updates

Okay, well, because I will never get around to explaining everything as detailed as I can, I am just going to give a very short version of things that have happened recently.

1. We went to Siegen to visit his dad and dad's girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. It was fun. We shopped, we played games... his dad had just gotten a new camera and took many pictures.. too many pictures. i had a huge red spot on my chin (from an evil zit. thanks mom for the acne!) so I look horrid in all the pics, but Fabian promised we could take that away... so, if we ever get the pics... there is hope for me yet.

2. I went last weekend to Stuttgart with my friend Kelleen. We took the train at 7 am and got there at 11.... we wandered around, looked at stores (including a really cool, huge expensive one where there was a guy in a top hat and tuxedo greeting people!), looked at the Weihnachtsmarkt (christmas market) and ate yummy food. We also took pretty pics of the city at night and such... well, Kelleen took the pics and she is going to, eventually, send them to me by e-mail... since I still haven't gotten the camera battery i ordered last week. we got off at the wrong stop during our train ride back (the reason why you shouldn't leave to americans alone in germany after a long day... we were so dumb, yet it was h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s) so we got back at 1 am on Sunday morning. She slept over,a nd we were so exhausted we went to bed immediately... after we got back. it was fun though, and i'm happy we went.

I think that is about it. Now I should be caught up! :)

A Quick Update

Hey everyone. I know I haven't written on herea at all lately, but I've been super busy trying to get caught up on my Philosophy class, my East/West Germany History class, and my History of Church class.... they are taking up all my free time right now... and the only time I take a break lately is in the evening to spend some time with Fabian watching TV/relaxing... so I apologize for the lack of updates, but you can expect it to probably continue for a few more days.... hope you can forgive me..

Early Morning

It is five minutes after seven in the morning on a Friday. All I have to do is go to Yoga. Why did I ever think having Yoga at 8 in the morning on a Friday was a good idea?

In other news, I didn't sleep so well last night. I stayed up too late for starters. And I just had a bunch of stuff on my mind.

Sadly, I learned that my Great Uncle died of Cancer on Tuesday, last night. He had cancer, and the cancer finally won. Quite sad. My sympathy and prayers go out to my family at home.

I don't have colorful socks to wear today. Tomorrow I am going to Stuttgart with my friend Kelleen. We are just going to see the city and the Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market). More people are welcome to come, but sadly we don't know more people who would want to. All the people I know are busy already, and all the people she knows are too. What does this translate into: We need more friends.

In other news, I am going on a weekend trip the 16 through the 18 of December. There is a group called, "ZiS" which plans activities occassionally for International Students. I usually forget they exist, but someone I know in one of my classes told me about this trip they are doing. It costs 35 Euro and lasts from Friday morning to Sunday evening. We go to Freiburg, Strassburg, and Basel. In each city we do some touring. We go to a couple museums, we see the musical CATS (the german version), have free time to do whatever we want, and the best part is it is only 35 Euro. This includes our lodging (at a youth hostel) and at least one meal a day (I think two meals even). I'm excited... Kelleen might come with, but hopefully it'll be a chance to meet some new people two and get a chance to hang out with this other girl (who told me about it) named Rosie who is from Croatia and who I always sit by in my Grammar class. I'm excited.

don't blame me

oops... anyone else notice my grammar mistakes and different words I used which didn't make sense in that post. But you can't blame me... I spend all my time trying to speak/write/understand German properly, English is of little consequence.

Oh - and family: your gifts won't be sent, can't be sent out until I get my purse. So... hopefully Friday or early next week.

Randomness

I remembered to read my Bible today!!!!! This is a good thing, because I forget all the time. And forgetting to read your Bible doesn't help you to build a relationship with God very well, at least not in my experiences. I'd like to remember to read it everyday, but right now I'm just happy I read it today.

Fabian and I were talking the other day about the Bible and how so many people have interpereted the different verses in there that sometimes you forget that sometimes what someone told you the Bible says and what the Bible says are two different things. At first I was upset because he said that Americans say a lot of things about the Bible (interpretations, etc.) but just because it says that it doesn't mean it is really in the Bible. That was a few days ago, and since then I've been thinking, and I guess I've realized that he is right. It isn't so much that I need to discredit everything American's (or anyone else) says about the Bible, but that I need to pray about their interpretations and do my own research about it before I believe it. This applies to everday life too, and is something I previously haven't really done. Previously I just believed most things people told me as truth. Now I can see that while on some subjects it doesn't matter (it's not like i go around double checking everything people say or something) on other subjects it does matter. Especially on faith. Believing something just because others believe it too doesn't really do much I don't think. It would be like jumping off of a cliff just because everyone else is. I need to believe things because in my heart, it feels right and true. And I can find that out by praying...

Along that lines, I have a desire to go buy an old Luther Bible which is in German and was translated from the original Hebrew (or is it Greek?) Bible texts a long time ago. This would be the most accurate Bible that has gone through the least translations that I could possibly understand. My German still needs some work, but I think that if I could buy one and start working on it, that eventually I could read it no problem, and I feel like that would be a good experience for me... a good way to read a purer, less tainted, form of God's word... a good way to get back to the basics of reading the Bible and praying...

In other news, today I am wearing colorful stripped socks, and it makes me excited. This past weekend I left my purse at Fabian's dad's house, and it hasn't come in the mail yet. My purse has everything in it, including my keys to the apartment and my bus pass. So I've spent 24 Euro on transportation this week, and the sum is still rising, and it really sucks. I hope my purse comes today.

And for my family: CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ARE ALMOST READY TO BE SENT OUT! The lighter ones will be sent air mail, but a few are heavier so they will be sent by ship, so you won't receive them until near or after Christmas.. for that, I apologize.