This is me with the new! Quite different if you ask me. And the shirt I got from mom and dad for my birthday! Isn't it cute? My nickname my last year of high school was Tink, and I still love Tink stuff, so it suites me well! :) I do believe I love my new cut, let me know what you all think! And, just as a reminder, if I don't post for the next two weeks it is because my Dad (real dad) and Bev (step mom) will be here to visit and we are super busy! So I'll fill you all in afterwards if I don't find any other time. Until then! 

This is me with my old cut! :) 

A Day in my Life

Here was what my Thursday looked like. Hope you enjoy!

5:30 am - Fabian gets up to get ready or work. I go back to sleep.
6:40 am - The phone rings, startling me out of sleep. I groggily reach over for the phone. "hello?" I say quite sleepy. Fabian's voice speaks back to you, apologizing for waking me and asking me to bring down an umbrella to the entry way of our building so that he can stop by with the van he drives routes with to pick it up. Sleepily I pick out an umbrella and stumble down to the first floor. It's too early for this. I wait for about 5 minutes. When he doesn't show up I go back up, call him (only to learn he isn't here yet and I am to just leave the umbrella down there for him) and wonder if he told me that originally and I missed it or if he forgot to.
6:45 am - I'm laying in bed, relaxing, and I realize... I have to get up in 45 minutes. Does it really pay to go back to sleep?
7:05 am - Finally fall back asleep.
7:30 am - Stupid alarm clock on my cell phone goes off. I shut it off leaving it on the pillow next to me. "Must. Get. Up." goes through my head. I go back to sleep.
7:45 am - Wake up again. Oh, yeah. I have to get up. "Aufstehen, aufstehen, aufstehen" repeats over and over and over in my head in an attempt to keep my mind awake until my body can find the strength to cooperate. Aufstehen means "to get out of bed".
7:50 am - I finally get up. I stretch, grab some clothes and head to the shower, checking my time on the way to make sure I'm still okay on time.
8:00 am - Get dressed after my shower. I am wearing two pairs of socks, jeans, a t-shirt, a long sleeved shirt, and I have a hoody packed in my bag to put on later. Why so many clothes? Today I'm of to the Raptor Center, which is higher in elevation there, a bit colder, and more windy than saarbruecken. I don't want to freeze like the first day I was there.
8:05 am - Sit down to a bowl of cereal, which is the same as frosted flakes. I'm starving and am reminded how I could never survive w/o breakfast. It's too yummy! I grab my current book, Trial by Fire by Nancy Taylor Rosenberg.
8:15 am - Pack my bag of stuff to do, grab an umbrella and a coat and head out the door.
8:30 am - Arrive after walking 15 minutes at the doc's office for a blood test. I have to wait in line a few minutes, and when its finally my turn to talk to the receptionist, I forget the german word for blood test, and stutter a bit trying to search my brain for the right word. She recognizes me from the day before and says, "Blutabnahne?" "Ja" I reply. Whew... saved.
8:40 - Done with the blood test, and walking my way to a street train station to get to the train station.
8:50 - Buy three mini donuts (aka berliners) for a euro - yum yum!
9:03 - By this time I'm on my train, relaxing and starting my homework for the 50 minute drive to Saarburg, where the park is.
10:00 - Am picked up by Alex at the train station in Saarburg, one of the owners of the park. We head off to the park, grabbing some "Broetchen" (breakfast rolls) on the way.
10:15 - Sit down to a small breakfast. Thankfully I only ate 1 berliner on the train, or else I would be not hungry at all and feel bad. I eat a broetchen with yummy stuff on top, get a rain coat from Wolfgang the other owner, and head outside with Alex.
10:45 - The black lab who came outside with us is missing. We're all puzzled, since according to Alex and the others he's never run off. Finally find him under a shed, unable to get out. We're not sure how he got there in the first place. We dig out the dirt a bit and the dog crawls out, happy as can be. Strange dog.
11:05 - We start to feed the other animals since there are no visitors for the 11 am Bird Show (its too rainy). First comes the "washbaeren" aka Raccoons, who are found in Europe in the wild but only because they got brought from North America. There are three at the park, cute as can be - but not to be trusted. They can be a bit mean too. Next comes the pony and two donkeys, the chickens, the ferrets, the bunnies, the pigeons, the goats and the pigs - though the pigs food is just gotten ready and left to soak in water to make a slop which will be fed to them later. Sometime during all this I cut my finger slightly.
12:30 - I go to give the raccoons some chicken. yum yum they gobble it down. Afterwards its off to clean the chicken shed which they are forced to live in now due to the Bird Flu being in Germany (Northern Germany only still. It isn't anywhere near us yet) - all chickens/birds that are owned have to be inside a container/room of some sort. My job now is to scrap bird poop from the benches, and help to get rid of all the old straw and poop and feathers. Then to replace it with new stuff. After a bit of confusion on what I was supposed to retrieve from the cellar where all the supplies were (I get confused on german words sometimes) this job is accomplished! On my way back I slip and end up scraping my leg. I scare the heck out of Alex since the way I landed looked pretty weird (my leg was at a weird angle), but I'm okay, just got a small cut is all. I think Alex thought I broke my leg or something...
1:00 - Next it is off to the bunnies and pigeons, to clean them. Once again scraping off poop. My job is so clean. Soon the pigeons are done and they're home looks quite inviting (and the baby pigeon so cute) and I'm on to the bunnies, which would be easier to do except for the fact that they are so curious they don't get out of your way when trying to clean. This brings about my, "hey.. get out from underneath that pile of clean straw I just put in here" lecture which I was forced to give to a cute little bunny who found himself suddenly in the dark under the hay. Much laughing later (at the bunnies who were always in my way) I'm finally finished, and they're hopping about as happy as can be in their new, dry surroundings.
1:15 - The food for the pigs is down soaking, time to feed. Alex asks if I want to, and I gladly say, "Yes!" So I grab the bucket of slop, and head into the muddy pin. I realize quickly that this is a bad idea, since the large amounts of mud instantly find its way to my pants, and I become insanely dirty. Oh well, I pour some slop into the trough for the two larger pigs, and get the smallest one to come over and eat out of my bucket (other wise he would get anything). The middle sized pig quickly gives up on the trough and finds her way to me in order to try to get to the bucket too. I push her away and the poor thing just hasn't learned to keep eating from the trough to get the most food. I come out covered with mud but happy.
1:30 - Lunch! A bratwurst, and two broetchen. Yum Yum!
2:30 - Back outside. The weather has improved, its no longer raining really, and the sun is trying to peak out. We go clean the duck's home (who also have to stay inside).
3:30 - A falcon with some problems with the pads of his feet is brought out from his sanctuary in the shower of Wolfgang's home (its the only place where he can't hurt himself while he waits to have surgery soon) is brought out so Wolfgang can clean his enclosure. I get to hold him, and we seem to bond. His name is Mini which (though spelled differently and meant differently) reminds me of my dad's mom who was nick named Minnie.
4:00 - Mini goes back and Wolfgang grabs Sheeva, another type of bird who weighs too much and is therefore not used for the Bird Show. When birds weigh too much they are not as hungry and lazier when it comes to flying for the food (which makes them want to do the show). We drive up the mountain to the bird enclosure's with Sheeva, and feed all the other birds, who seem a bit unhappy they didn't get to fly today since no one showed up for the second show either today due to the weather. Wolfgang brings out Sheeva, who is a bit lazy. He flys her a bit, only to have two wild birds of prey show up flying around above us, causing Sheeva to fly off with them. She has no tracker on, which means we have to go find her.
5:00 - We just spent about an hour searching for Sheeva, found her, and Wolfgang finally got her to come back. I recieve a stuffed owl, and two pens with birds carved on them from the park for my birthday. And 10 Euros for the train rides I had to pay for. I shoot the bull a bit with Alex.
5:30 - Say goodbye to Alex and hop in the car with Wolfgang who drops me off at the train station. He wishes me a happy birthday and its off to run through the pouring rain and wait about 20 minutes for the train by reading my book again.
6:07 - Train finally comes. I find a comfy seat and settle in.
7:00 - It's raining still as I come home in Saarbruecken, though not pouring which is good. I do some laundry and relax with Fabian for a couple hours.
11:30 - After even more reading of my really good book I settle in for a good night's sleep. It's been an exhausting day but today I realized that I love working with the animals. That scraping off poop is worth it for just a few minutes a day of seeing Sheeva fly, of watching the way the raccoons interact with each other, of almost being mauled by overly curious bunnies, getting to pat the donkey's on the nose once or twice, talk to the chickens who think that cleaning their home equals some sort of cruel punishment (even though they were never touched) who let me know loudly that they feel this way, of seeing the ducks quack up a storm for no reason, and getting to hold and talk to a falcon up close and personal. Yep... no matter how much or how little contact I have with the animals, I realize that just seeing them often and getting to know them a bit, even just through observation, I learn that I indeed am cut out for this type of job.

It's a great feeling.

I'm GREAT!

Just wanted to update anyone, who may have been worried about my dizzy spells due to the last several posts about them.

First I want to tell you all not to worry. My dizzy spells are not bad at all. They happen between 5 - 10 times a day probably, and usually only in the morning or evening when I'm going to or getting out of bed. When they do happen I can control them, and they are gone within seconds.

The reason I am going to doctors now is to simply get this problem taken care of, because I would like to know what is causing them and how to get rid of them once and for all, if that is possible.

So, don't worry, I'm doing great! God's got my back, and I'm still going about life like normally! I'm just adding some interesting "It's-hard-to-explain-medical-problems-in-german-when-you-don't-know-all-the-words-in-german" stories to my life! :)

Doctor Visit # 1

Well, I'm back from the doctors. It went well overall, I suppose you could say.

I got there, and first I had to fill out a questionaire. You really take questionares for granted until you have to sit with a dictionary in order to answer some of the questions.

So, after 15 minutes or so the couple page questionaire was completed, and the doctor game. I thought I was seeing a female doctor, but I ended up with a male doctor. Since he was nice and seems thorough, I don't really care.

Then I explained the situation to him as best as I could in German. At times he was a bit confused, as was I but we got through it, and he understood what my problems were. He checked my blood pressure, my pulse, my breathing, and my heart. He also sent me for an EKG which tests your heart. And tomorrow morning I have to go back in to get a blood test. This is what I learned so far today:

1. My blood pressure was 100/60, which is a bit low. According to a Medical Encyclopedia website, normal is between 90/60 and 130/80. While mine still technically falls into the normal range, the doctor can safely assume that it is lower than normal regularly. Why? Because normally a person's blood pressure in a doctor's office (especially a new doctor/situation - like me being nervous going to a doctor and explaining everything in German) is higher than normal. Since I was nervous and in new surroundings, my blood pressure today was more than likely higher than it usually is, which is why he thinks I have low blood pressure. Which if I remember right, has been a problem in my life before.

2. My pulse was okay the first time he took it, and later a bit slow but not so slow to worry about. The EKG turned out normal, so whatever is causing this, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with my heart (yay!).

3. I remembered that I have low amounts of Iron in my blood. I believe this is one of the things that will be tested tomorrow morning in the blood test.

So, what are the next steps? Well, he gave me meds - a pill to take three times a day and drops of some stuff to take each morning with sugar or bread. Should be interesting, especially cause I'm supposed to let the stuff melt in my mouth, and they do not look very tasty.

Next Thursday (06/04/2006) I have to go to a Neurologist and to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. Which isn't too cool. Well, I'm happy to be getting this taken care of. But yeah. Next Thursday I have to be at the Neurologists at 9 am, but since they are completely booked (and we don't want my case to wait for weeks and weeks and weeks) I get to show up, and they will fit me in as soon as they can. Which hopefully does not mean that I have to wait ALL DAY. Then in the afternoon I get to go to the Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. At least there I have a specific appointment time.

After that I need to call the same doctor that I saw today on Monday the 10 or so (which may be hard since I'll be in France) and make sure that the results from whatever tests the other two doctors do have come in, along with my blood test from tomorrow, and then I get to make an appointment, and go back to the doctor to discuss the findings. Hopefully there will be findings. But then again, maybe just having low blood pressure would be a good thing. Oh - and we also learned that my blood pressure does not get lower when going from laying down to standing up, which he said would be normal... I guess I have an inkling that this is more than just low blood pressure.

So, really, we just don't know too much of anything. Quite annoying if you ask me.

And the best part? I get to go to TWO MORE DOCTORS and explain to them what's up and go through a bunch more tests.

And one last note: as I got the EKG done, it was administered by a woman. In the states the woman would leave/turn around while you took off your top and bra in order to take the test, but in Germany (as was the case when I went to the other doctor too last fall) they just stand there while you take your clothes off. Its not in a perverted way or anything, and they are girls, so it isn't like I have anything they don't... its just a bit weird when your not used to it.

Update on Dizzy Spells

Dear Family, Friends, and Readers,

I hope that this letter finds you all in good health, as those of us here in Germany (me and my boyfriend) aren't quite in good health as of right now.

For me, it's the dizzy spells. Yes, they are unfortunately still here. I haven't had any repeats of the falling over into bed after standing up thing though, thankfully.

Today I (gasp) go to the doctor to see if they can find something.

As always, I'm nervous. Especially because I can hardly describe my dizzy spells adequately in English, let alone German.

I've seriously been practicing my description (aka speech) all morning.

Sad, huh?

And Fabian is still sick too. He's back at work, which is only making him more sick. He may very well end up getting written sick again at the end of this week and all next week. Though its nothing too serious, this is one virus/bug/thing that just won't detach unless he gets good sleep every night (read: does not have to get up at 5 in the morning), and relaxes a lot. Seriously, at the end of last week things were going much better (hardly any coughing, just a bit sick feeling, no fever). Fast forward to Tuesday, after being at work for the second day in a row he is coughing up a storm again, and has been sleeping horribly. Last night he got only 2 hours of sleep. Same went for Sunday night. Monday night he got lots of sleep cause he slept for about 6:30 pm to 5 the next morning. I'll update you all later on the doctor visit. Wish me luck.

Leave a comment or two if you have the time, and keep reading!

Your friendly blogger,
Mindy

Songtext Whitney Houston - I will always Love you - Lyrics von Whitney Houston - Klingelton Whitney Houston - mp3 Download Whitney Houston

So, I was doing homework, and listening to a mix CD I have, when Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" song came on. For the first time in my life, I actually listened to the words. This song is actually quite sad. She's leaving the man she loves and is singing about how she'll always love him even though she has to go... (I presume her significant other is a male anyways). Don't people play this for the wedding song? No offense to anyone who did, but... do they actually listen to the words? Its a beautiful song, but there is no way I would play it for my wedding song (now that I know what it is about). Click on the link below to read the lyrics! :)

Songtext Whitney Houston - I will always Love you - Lyrics von Whitney Houston - Klingelton Whitney Houston - mp3 Download Whitney Houston

Goals

I need to set goals. This is the conclusion I've come to... so here the goals that I do have:

Long Term

1. Graduate college in Winter of 2007 with honors.
2. Do everything possible to somehow be able to fit in an internship in the summer of 2007 in an area of Animal Caretaking that I would enjoy working in as well, preferably at a good quality zoo or zoological park/center.
3. Run a 5k or 10k race in the fall of 2006. Why? Because I want to get in shape, have something to work towards ( to help me stay motivated) and because I decided that even though I'm in no way ready for it, that it would be a great feeling to someday train for and complete a marathon (26.2 miles). Why? Because of the challenge! Since that would be at least a few years down the road, I decided doing a 5k or 10k race would be a great way to start getting into shape.

Short Term

1. Get decent grades in my classes over here in Germany. I'm working as hard as I can on them, but due to the fact that the courses are harder due to the language (and that I inevitabley will always miss something because of it), if my grades are a bit worse than usual, I'm not too worried about it. Mainly, I just want to pass.
2. Continue volunteering once a week at the Raptor Park here in Germany, and find at least 2 days a week to volunteer at the zoo in Fargo when I get back to the US.
3. Start and complete most of my Photo Journal for my year abroad by time I come home in August 2006. The only undone pages I want are the last few for my trip to Mallorca, coming home and (if I put it in there) re-adjusting to life in the US.
4. Start a training program to run a 5k or 10k race in the fall of 2006.
5. Remember to read my Bible daily...

Yep. So there they are. Let me know what you think. Now, I need to get off my lazy bum and go jogging, take a shower, and go do some errands. Oh, and eat lunch. The whole 5k or 10k race goal is new, and the training idea, and exact parts of the goal aren't finished yet... so I'll fill you all in on it a bit more when I've got it all figured out.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

Movies

Saw this on Suzie's Blog and I thought it was kind of cool, so I'd do it myself. Here is a list of Best Movie winners for every year from 1929-2006... the ones in bold are the ones that I have seen! Enjoy! :)


2006 Crash (2005)
2005: Million Dollar Baby (2004)
2004: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
2003: Chicago (2002)
2002: A Beautiful Mind (2001)
2001: Gladiate (2000)
2000: American Beauty (1999)
1999: Shakespeare in Love (1998)
1998: Titanic (1997)
1997: The English Patient (1996)
1996: Braveheart (1995)
1995: Forrest Gump (1994)
1994: Schindler's List (1993)
1993: Unforgiven (1992)
1992: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
1991: Dances with Wolves (1990)
1990: Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
1989: Rain Man (1988)
1988: The Last Emperor (1987)
1987: Platoon (1986)
1986: Out of Africa (1985)
1985: Amadeus (1984)
1984: Terms of Endearment (1983)
1983: Gandhi (1982)
1982: Chariots of Fire (1981)
1981: Ordinary People (1980)
1980: Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
1979: The Deer Hunter (1978)
1978: Annie Hall (1977)
1977: Rocky (1976)
1976: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
1975: The Godfather: Part II (1974)
1974: The Sting (1973)
1973: The Godfather (1972)
1972: The French Connection (1971)
1971: Patton (1970)
1970: Midnight Cowboy (1969)
1969: Oliver! (1968)
1968: In the Heat of the Night (1967)
1967: A Man for All Seasons (1966)
1966: The Sound of Music (1965)
1965: My Fair Lady (1964)
1964: Tom Jones (1963)
1963: Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
1962: West Side Story (1961)
1961: The Apartment (1960)
1960: Ben-Hur (1959)
1959: Gigi (1958)
1958: The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
1957: Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
1956: Marty (1955)
1955: On the Waterfront (1954)
1954: From Here to Eternity (1953)
1953: The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)
1952: An American in Paris (1951)
1951: All About Eve (1950)
1950: All the King's Men (1949)
1949: Hamlet (1948)
1948: Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
1947: The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
1946: The Lost Weekend (1945)
1945: Going My Way (1944)
1944: Casablanca (1942)
1943: Mrs. Miniver (1942)
1942: How Green Was My Valley (1941)
1941: Rebecca (1940)
1940: Gone with the Wind (1939)
1939: You Can't Take It with You (1938)
1938: The Life of Emile Zola (1937)
1937: The Great Ziegfeld (1936)
1936: Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)
1935: It Happened One Night (1934)
1934: Cavalcade (1933)
1932: Grand Hotel (1932)
1931: Cimarron (1931)
1930: All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
1930: The Broadway Melody (1929)
1929: Wings (1927)


So, I've seen 20 out of like 87 movies on this list. Wouldn't it be cool to watch them all and someday be able to say, "Yep. I've seen every "Best Movie" award winner from the US since Hollywood began," ??? I think that'd be cool. Maybe I will work on that. I better start with the really old ones though, before they are impossible to find.

Jogging

I went jogging today.

12:45 - 1:05 (20 minutes)

5 minute walking warm up

3 minutes Jogging/2 Minutes Walking

3 minutes Jogging/2 minutes Walking

5 minutes walking cool down

(I know it may not seem like much, but its great for me! So I thought I'd share!)

It's a beautiful day.

I think I'm going to go running.

:)

I think spring may be here (but I'm afraid to jinx it).

Oh, and I also think that I finally found a face wash that works. It only has taken me since July. But don't tell anyone. I don't want to jinx that too.

I found a place!

Last week, after I was bummed because volunteering in the local zoos wasn't possible, I found a Raptor Center (Birds of Prey) Park where I can volunteer!

I have to take a train for about an hour in order to get to the small town of Staarburg, Germany. Once there it is about a half an hour walk, or 10 minutes by car, to get to the "Greifvogel Park" (Raptor Park) which two 30-something men run with the weekend help of a 13 year old girl named Janina and now occasionally me.

I went there on Thursday and saw the grounds, which is on a mountain. At the base of the mountain is a restaurant, the home of one of the men who own the place, and a myriad of animals including ferrets, a pony, two donkeys, chickens and ducks (which have to be locked up due to the Bird Flu, which has reached Germany but not this far south), a couple of pigs, some racoons, some pigeons (yes pigeons), and maybe another animal I'm missing.

When you go up the mountian you find the stage for their twice daily Bird Shows (11 am and 3 pm), and the home of a variety of birds - including falcons, hawks, two American bald eagles, a snow owl (like on Harry Potter), two other owls and a couple of more.

I got to help feed all of the animals during the day, eat a good lunch (they can't pay me but they can feed me!), and help out with their afternoon show...which was really only a show for me because no one else showed up. I got to have one bird come to me on my leather gloved hand, which went good overall. Then we brought out one of the bald eagles. Both the eagles are young still... one is 2 years old and one is 3 years old. Neither have the white feathers on their heads yet, but they are HUGE (wing spans bigger than me!) and gorgeous. The first eagle was the younger and gentler one. Then we brought out the second one who is a bit more aggressive. And I got to have him come to me on my gloved arm. They showed me what to do, and how to call him. The first time I tried the bird decided, "uh... sorry, but I don't go to someone I don't know" and just landed on the ground next to me. The second time it worked, but I was a bit nervous, and he was heavier than I was expecting. So I turned, like I should, after catching him to "throw" him back out (make him fly away) except in the process I threw the glove I had on too. Oops.

But it was awesome. I've never had an eagle (or any other such bird) so close. I'd love to go help everyday there, but unfortunately I can't afford the train ticket everyday. So I'm going again on Thursday of this week to help. It'll be great.

They're Ba-ack!

They're back. And I hate it. They come without warning, without reason, and they plague me. I can go months without one, and then suddenly they're there again, as if to say, "Ha ha! You thought you got rid of us? Think again."

What are they? They are my dizzy spells.

Now, "dizzy spells" are not the medical name for them, but they are what I have so lovingly termed them.

They started back in August of 2006 while I was on a vacation to northern Minnesota with my parents. After a long day of traveling in the car and reading a book (I remember because I usually can't read in a moving car without getting car sick) they set in almost immediately after we got there. At first I thought nothing of it, just that it was some random weird thing. Boy was I wrong.

I don't remember how they progressed exactly, but I do remember that we switched state parks and in the second camp site we had for the trip, they got really bad. So bad that I spent days laying on a blanket, on the ground in our camp site, just staring into space, because reading/turning my head/moving my body in any way would set the world tilting and spinning in all directions. I couldn't even go to the bathroom on my own for a few days. My parents had to stand on either side of me, supporting me and walking me to the bathroom. It was horrible, but thankfully by the end of the vacation they seemed to have gone away.

Sometime we did go see a doctor regarding this condition. He put me through some tests, (stand up, with your arms straight out and shoulder height, close your eyes) which were negative. I didn't fall over during the tests. He gave me some motion sickness pills I believe, and that was that. We didn't pursue it more, and I was never diagnosed with anything. From then on Mom and I assumed it was "Vertigo" which is the same thing my mom has, meaning that she randomly has dizzy spells occassionally for no reason.

Fast forward to current time, a couple of years later. In the last two years or so they have randomly come on and lasted for varying lengths of time. I have been able to learn to control them. When they come on I am able to quickly get control of my eyes again, and stare at one nonmoving object which makes them go away in seconds usually. They make me a bit nauseous however, which can last a bit longer. I can go months without them, and then they're back. Like now.

The last spells I had were last summer/fall. I had some alcohol one evening and the next day my dizzy spells were there. I spent three days lounging around in a bed, because they were back. It was horrible. After the original three days, they dissapeared, only to return randomly over the next month or so. Eventually they went away, and haven't returned until yesterday. Of course, right when I had began thinking that, "...maybe they are gone for good this time." I haven't had any alcohol to trigger them (in fact, alcohol hasn't trickered them since last summer/fall), or anything else that I can think of that is different which could have started them. Except one thing.

Last week I started trying to get healthier. I started keeping track of what I eat (trying to eat the right food groups everyday), and excercising 6 out of 7 days a week (though I didn't quite make this goal). I have been doing 3 days of cardio, and 3 days of strength training. During the stregth training I noticed my neck was getting tighter, but thought that training it a bit wouldn't hurt. Now I'm wondereing if maybe it is. Which is sad, since as a 20 year old who is healthy, I should be able to do some cardio, and strength training without having problems...

So, now.. yeah. So now there back. Yesterday they set in while I was babysitting. I was able to control them, so no one knew. Then I seemed okay the rest of the day. This morning however, when getting out of bed, I was unpleasantly reminded that they were indeed back. I had to go to the bathroom around 5:10 this morning, so I scooted to the edge of the bed, sat there a second, and then got up - the same exact way I do every morning around 5:10 or so. Except today I no sooner had gotten my feeting on the ground, when the world starting tilting quickly to the right, I felt my eyes dart quickly around no longer under my control, and my feet lost their grip on the floor (it was as if someone had shoved me) and I fell quickly back to the bed. Mentally I was aware of what was happening. I remember trying to control my eyes, trying to find a grip on the floor again with me feet, but it was all to no avail, and I fell on the bed (thankfully it was still there).

That is what they are like for me. They come completely randomly. A turn of the head can trigger one, but that same turn of the head an hour later can be fine. Bending over and closing my eyes are usually bad (to wash my face for example, or dry my hair after a shower), but not always. Sometimes even nothing seems to set them off. Once it hits, the world starts moving and I lose control of my eyes. My eyes will roam all by themselves, the world will tilt, and if it's bad enough I will lose my balance. A feeling of nausea sets in, which will usually last even after the dizzy spell is gone. It's horrible. Thankfully, I can usually can control of my eyes again. But it is an effort. I have to mentally think "Stare at something not moving. Now don't look away from it." And that isn't an exageration. Until I'm sure its gone I have to force myself to stare at something. Thankfully they now only last about a few seconds before I have my eyes under control again....I have read stories online that are much worse (people who literally can't work or lead a normal life because of these spells).

Now, I'm not trying to make any one back home worry about me. I'm actually fine. It's not like I'm going to be driving a car which could be dangerous if a dizzy spell set in, or anything. I don't even have class. Just a quiet day at home. I may or may not work out today, depending on how bad the dizzy spells are. If I do work out it will be cardio, which I don't think is the culprit in my spells being back. I am going to go to a doctor too, to try to get this figured out. The only thing is that I would prefer to not go alone, because I want to ensure that I understand what they tell me. Unfortunately Fabian works during the week, so I will have to ask someone else more than likely. I don't know who quite yet. But we'll see how they go over the next day or so.

The worst thing about them is that I don't know when they will set in. I can be walking down the street, turn my head, and oop- there goes the world. Usually it happens when I'm sitting though. I laid in bed for 20 minutes this morning before getting up, because I knew that while laying there I had them under control, and that after getting up, I had no idea. That is the part that really sucks.

But enough of that. Today is a great day otherwise! Do you know why? Because I am no longer PMSING! And that is truly a wonderful feeling.

It'll be okay

I just wanted to add to my last post that it'll be okay.

When I get back I am going to make sure I can volunteer at the zoo in Fargo.

In the summer of 2007 I will do my best to get an internship somewhere at a very good zoo. (which may be hard monetarily, but will need to be done if I plan on ever working in a zoo).

When it comes time I will apply for internships/jobs for after graduation. Who knows, maybe my other qualifications will make up for not as much experience (such as speaking 2 languages, having completed research in another country, having had an interniship {hopefully} somewhere, preferably at a good zoo, having worked with dogs/cats for 3 years {better than nothing}), and if not, then I do what I've always planned on doing: finding an internship or working full time while volunteering somewhere until I prove myself/get enough experience/find a job.

It'll be tough. But that's life I suppose, huh?

And besides, right now I have a lot of other things to do with the rest of my year here. In the next three weeks I need to:

1. Learn the stuff for my test in April.
2. Come up with a new research project (my old one is pretty much worthless I learned yesterday).
3. Start research/make plans to research/etc.
4. Work on my Photo Journal for my year here.
5. practice German.
6. Excercise.

So, that stuff should keep me busy. Then Dad and Bev come to visit (yay) then school starts, and I will be really busy with that. But I'm still sad I can't volunteer (though I'm still trying to get ahold of the people at a Birds of Prey Park nearby.)

The biggest problem may be beating the competition for the jobs I apply for eventually. After all, there are lots of people out there who have spent time in high school and in college (like, lots of time) volunteering, or interning at zoos and will have several years more experience than I will have, though we are the same age and apply for the job at the same time. This could be bad. I will have to hope that getting good contacts out there and working really hard to prove myself as a volunteer will be enough to get me a job. It isn't my own capabilities that make me wonder if getting work at a zoo will work, it is the experience of others which scares me.

Okay, seriously, I spend too much time alone thinking and worrying too much. I need to get out. That is the main reason why I'm sad volunteering doesn't work someplace: I need to get out of the apartment a couple of times a week for several hours. Maybe I can volunteer somewhere else...?

hmmmmm....

bummed

I'm sad.

I can't volunteer at the zoo here in Saarbruecken or in Neunkirchen (a town nearby) because they don't take volunteers, and they don't have any intern positions available until the end of July (when I go back to spain, and then back to the US in August).

So I don't know what I'll do. Probably will have to wait on getting experience working/volunteering in a zoo until the fall, when I'm back in the states.

Seems like I'm always waiting because I can't drive that far to volunteer at the zoo (in high school)/the woman in charge of volunteering never is available or calls me back/I don't have time (fargo)/there aren't any positions available/we don't take volunteers (germany)...

sigh... I need 2 years of experience (at least) + bachelor's degree in order to apply for a position in a zoo. If I can volunteer in Fargo when I get back, when I graduate (which will be in Winter 2007 most likely, so that I'm not so stressed, and have time to volunteer and work) I will have 1.5 years... then if I can either get an internship or continue to volunteer or whatever for half a year or so, maybe I can find a job in a zoo. maybe.

Sigh. Its tough.

Movie at 11 PM - Real Begin TIme =11:40

So, we went to see a movie last night, with a bunch of Fabian's friends, and we had a blast! We saw "Last Holiday Movie" (Is that the english name?) with Queen Latifah, and it was very funny...and I'm sure even funnier in English (since in German some jokes and funny things about the way they talk as people is lost).

The movie was supposed to start at 11 pm. We first went and played pool (I sunk in the 8 Ball to win one game for my team! woo hoo!), then headed over to the theater, getting there a bit early. We found our row and seat number on our tickets, and took our seats (we were in row c, i was in seat 10...fabian on my left in 9). Yes, that's right. In Germany, you often have specific rows and seat numbers to sit in. Not always, and after the show starts you can usually find a new space nearby that is better if you like, as long as it is still open...

Anyways, the theaters darkens slightly at 11 and the commercials begin. Yes, you heard me. Commercials. And a few movie previews (but mostly commercials). These are usually the same ones that are on TV here, with the exception of the Malboro commercial which isn't allowed to be on TV (no cigarrette commercials on TV are allowed over here). These commercials last for 30-45 minutes. Yep. sometimes 45 minutes. Then, the lights come back on, and there is about a 15 minute "intermission" in order to buy ice cream or other refreshments. You know, in case the ones you bought 1/2 an hour ago are gone already. Often times a refreshment guy even comes in offering ice cream.

Then the previews for the real movie begin.

And 10 minutes later (now any where from 40-60 minutes after the movie was scheduled to "start") the real movie begins.

Ahh the joys of Cinestar, the theater we were at last night.

Thankfully other theaters only usually have 10 minutes of commercials (including normal movie previews), if that. Some don't have anything except the previews. Is it that bad in the states yet?

GOOD NEWS!!

I have GREAT NEWS! So, the class schedules for NDSU Fall 2006 came out recently, and I spent my morning checking up on which classes I can take next fall, spring 2007, and which ones I can take this semester in Germany...and if it all works out (cross your fingers, and druecken die Daumen!) ....

I COULD GRADUATE FROM NDSU IN MAY OF 2007!!!!!

That means, I would graduate on time, despite being abroad a year, and would be DONE WITH COLLEGE!

Oh my gosh! I'm so excited, and scared, and happy, and hoping really badly that it all works out.

In order to make it work, I need to first complete my schedule for the next semester here, contact NDSU and Concordia (where I need to get some german credits for my german minor) and get the OK on the classes I'm taking, and the credits I'll be recieving when I get back... and also check with my advisor at NDSU to make sure that my fall 06, and spring 07 tentative schedules will work... (because I will have to take four science classes each semester which may be alot... but they would be basically all I'm taking, so I think I could do it!).... and then of course, I have to get in to all the classes I want.... which shouldn't be too hard since I will have junior or senior status next year (probably senior, but I don't know technically).

So, yeah, it'll be a massive amount of work, but I could get done in Spring 07 maybe instead of Winter 07, which would mean paying less money to NDSU, getting done sooner, and getting into the working world sooner! AHH!!! I really really hope it all works out. But it is a really big IF right now, so I shouldn't get too excited! (too late)!

Wish me luck!

Oh, and by the way: even if it DOESN'T work out... and I have to graduate in Winter of 07, I can have smaller course loads each semester until then, which would mean I could work more too... but I'm hoping it works, I would love to graduate college in a year! :)

Okay, off I go to do some errands! :)

History, Harry Potter, the Zoo, and Working Out.

History - As we all know, or perhaps have forgotten, school for Mindy right now is non-existant... almost. What I mean, is that there is currently the semester break right now here in Germany, so classes themselves don't exist, however there are still things to do for the last semester. For me, there is basically only my History of East and West Germany class to study for. I have pretty much the entire semester worth of information to read about, and memorize before the middle of April (like the 18th of April), so I should get crackin (my parents are coming the first two weeks of April, so I want to be done by the end of March)...but yet, I just keep procrastinating. Even now I'm procrastinating. Hmmm.... I hate having to study.

Harry Potter - Well, I started Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisheit (aka Harry Potter, book 1) recently, and I LOVE IT! Okay, so I figured I would... but since I'm reading it in German (and the beginning seemed a bit boring) I was a bit skeptical. But, the reality is, I love it. My German is well enough that I don't have to look up every word (only the occassional word), so I can really enjoy reading in German, which is really a first for me (all other books that I've tried to read have been boring thus far). I can't wait to finish this book, and buy the next!

The Zoo - So, I called the zoo here in Saarbruecken yesterday about volunteering, and I was told to call back next week and talk to the secretary. So, next week I'm going to call, and hopefully I can volunteer there on a regular basis (I need something to occupy my days, which occurs outside of the four walls of our apartment). I really hope it works out this time.

Working Out - So SELF Magazine has this thing they do every year called "The SELF Challenge." It is a workout/eat healthy/lose weight program which runs for three months. I decided to join it this year, in the hopes that it would help me stay on track with an eating right and working out program. I have made a few changes to the program, but overall I'm sticking to the work outs which it gives me and such, and feel healthier already, even though I'm only on day three! (Could have to do with the fact that I was sick, and now am not so much, but you know... I like to look at the bright side). Since I'm not trying to lose weight, I follow a healthy 1800-2000 calories/day "diet" (which means, that I just try to eat a healthy amount of grains, fruits, veggies, milk, protein, and fats), and do three days per week of cardio (bike riding... oh boy is that hard), and strength training (excercises they tell you... this month focuses on abs and arms.. and my arms are S.O.R.E. today). If anyone else wants to do it (or check out their other plans hey have on the site: such as the "couch potato's plan" or the "diet plan" or a "set your own goals plan", just click here to go to their site, and click around to find what you are looking for! It is very informational, and helpful, and has already taught me a few things about eating healthier (for instance, I get just as full and content for a small amount of cereal, and a couple of servings of fruits for breakfast, instead of from a huge bowl full of at least somewhat unhealthy cereal!). I still need to learn to eat enough Veggies, and not so much fat however.. oops...

So here's to a happier, healthier me - to having way too much free time, stuff I can procrastinate on, and a wonderful book to read and enjoy!

Typo Correcto

Oops... I wrote I'd be coming into Chicago on February 9, 2006... I meant AUGUST 9, 2006!!!

lol.

Updates

Yeah, Yeah... I know... I'm horrible. I'm always forgetting to update, or not feeling like it... etc. etc. I apologize.

So, here goes: My camera is getting fixed. I found the warranty card, got the guy at the store to stamp it for me, and they sent it in for me. It will take 4 - 5 weeks, and the warranty may not cover the problem, but at least I will know, and then can decide to fix it or not.

I also bought my plane ticket. Maybe I should e-mail people first, but I thought I could just get out a big update now. I will be flying in to Chicago on February 9, 2006 at 6 something. The ticket was more expensive then I wanted, but overall not bad, considering. I did what I could.

It makes me sad. It makes me realize how quickly my time has gone here. What also makes me sad is the fact that my boyfriend gave me a really nice photo album to put pics in and write about my year in. It's supposed to be done (except the last few pages) before I go... but I keep putting it off because it makes me sad to think about all the time that has already gone by and how quick the rest will go! I hate to admit it.. but I'm even putting it off right now. I love it, and I want to do it, it's just a bit sad.

Well, I think that's it. I'm going to go hang out with Kelleen tonight, so I'm excited. Talk to you all later!

I recently got sick (again) and asked my boyfriend why it is I get sick so much here.

My boyfriend answers, "Because you worry too much and think too much about everything."

I then proceed for the next two days to worry about whether I'm worrying so much that I'm making myself sick.

Quite pathetic. I don't even know when I started worrying so much or why. I mean, I'm the girl who had an ulcer in like the 7th grade because I worried too much!

While I don't know if worrying so much is what is bringing my immune system down, I do know that it makes me unhappy, and anxious, and that I always assume the worst will happen with a lot of things, and then proceed to worry about it.

I've been praying about it, since the talk with my boyfriend, and reminding myself to not worry so much about everything. Hopefully I can start beating this worry thing. Anyone know any good therapists (that are FREE? ha ha ha).

Wait, I know one! GOD!

yay! (does a little rejoicing dance).

oh, and by the way: I officially finished my paper for my 19th Century Novels class. That means I now only have a test to study for, which is in April... yay!

Okay.. I now have to go turn in my paper.

ta ta.