Thursday, July 27, 2006

MALLORCA!

well, as you may have guessed from the title, I have somehow managed to survive all of my classes in Germany and all of my tests are over. I came out of the semester with solid B´s across the board, so I´m happy. It will probably bring down my GPA just a tiny bit back at NDSU, but I´m okay with that. I just want to get credit now for my classes.

Anyways, I´m currently in Mallorca, an island of Spain. Fabian´s grandma lives here and it is just beautful. There are mountains, there are plains... there are ruins from windmills all over the place, and the ocean is everywhere you look it seems. I have swam in the ocean every single day since Friday morning when we arrived, and the way it looks, it´ll stay that way. I´ve somehow managed to not get a sun burn until today, after sitting on a beach for about half an hour to an hour reading Harry Potter - book 4. Everyday I think about how great it is to be here, how nice it is to not have class anymore or anything to do besides read, swim, sight see, and work on my scrap book. Fabian´s grandma has been nice enough to let us stay with her and she is a sweet lady. We get along great! Fabian and I have rented a car for a week, and have been touring around the island looking at the small towns and checking out the beaches. Today we found the perfect beach - rocky, off the beaten path, with crystal clear blue waters, sandy bottoms and no seaweed whatsoever. Today we came back a bit early (around seven pm) and I finally got a chance to get online at an internet cafe, where the keyboard is spanish and crazy. Being here makes me want to learn spanish too!

Less than two weeks until I come back to the states, and I´m scared out of my mind. Scared of what it´ll be like to be back, scared I won´t fit in there anymore, scared I´ll not be able to leave Fabian, scared I´ll be unhappy... just scared of the unknown I guess. Crazy to think, that a year ago I was having these same thoughts about coming to Germany and Europe! But, I try my best not to think about it, and when I do think about it, I try to remind myself that I get to see my family and friends again, and that I get to have my very first apartment and that Fabian will eventually come join me. So, I´m surving until then, and just really really enjoying my vacation. I´ll show you all pics when I can, and update when I can again (may not be until August). Take care everyone!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

"All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking,
It's early morn.
The taxis waitin',
He's blown its horn
Already I'm so lonesome,
I could die.


So kiss me and smile for me.
Tell me that you'll wait for me.
Hold me, like you'll never let me go.
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again..."


Even though I'm not leaving Fabian for another 2.5 weeks (first it's off to Spain, yay!) I woke up with this song in my head. I packed my bags last night, so I could decide how much I could keep in my suitcases and how much I'd have to ship back to the states. I'm leaving four books here, because I just don't want them anymore (if I haven't used them over the last year, I don't need them), and am carrying some stuff in my carry-on, and I still just barely make it under the weight! I can only have 50 lbs in each check in bag... on the way here I could have 70 in each I believe. So that sucks. Cause I literally still have room in my suitcases, but it can't be anything heavy that goes there or else I'll go over weight. And all the rest of my stuff is heavy. So, today I get to spend 42.00 Euros ($52.00) to ship 10 kg (22 lbs) of stuff back to the states. It sucks. But, it's all stuff thats gotta come back.

Anyways, tonight it's off to Frankfurt, and tomorrow morning at 5 AM its off to Mallorca. I'm excited for the trip... but at the same time, a bit sad because I know that soon I'll be leaving Fabian here. I don't know if I'll be able to post while in Spain. If I can I'll sneak up a post now or then. If not, you all may not hear from me again until I'm back in the USA...

So if my posts take an overall (more so than usual lately) depressed turn, you all know why. It's going to be tough for me at first, I know... there's always an adjustment period after being with him, to adjust to going back to our long distance lifestyle... the adjustment period'll be tough, so just hang with me and send me some happy comments, when it comes to that time, okay? And for now, dear readers, I'm doing what I should be doing: trying not to think about it, and enjoying every second I get with him.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Over? What? *sigh* not yet

I've said goodbye to everybody except my closest two friends here, Ellen, the international advisor, my german class comrades, and Fabian. I've completed all requirements for 4 out of 6 classes. I got B's for two of those classes, a "pass" grade for one, a "I participated" certificate for another and need to complete the homework for the 5th one tonight before bed (it's already 9:17, I babysat too tonight), and give a short speech along with do a test for the last one on Thursday. Tomorrow I pick up the rest of my Scheine (things that say my grades on them) that I can before I go, pack up my things and decide what needs to be shipped home. Then I need to ship the stuff home Thursday, plus choose pictures for the rest of my scrap book and make sure I have enough paper for the rest of it, so I can do it over vacation. I need to decide to take books with on Greenpeace or not on vacation, as I am doing that project now (yep, switched again) for my international major, as soon as I get the OK and am using the Gorilla research for credit for Zoology.

I got the cutest picture of the girl I babysat today, on my last day... and left her crying with her dad when he wouldn't let her come with me when I left on the bus. Though she asked me multiple times if today was my last day ever, we don't think she quite understood the concept yet. Thankfully. Next week she'll probably ask about me, and the week after... but eventually she'll probably all but forget me (though I'm planning on keeping in contact, so hopefully not). It was still sad though, and her cute giggle and "gut? gut!" will be missed.

*sigh* life goes on, friends move apart, people say goodbye, and life changes. It's been a great year here...I don't know what else to say. I'm going to miss my home here.

Monday, July 17, 2006

I have no brain power to title this post

so... tired... of studying..

please.. just make it go away...

hi everyone. i'm mentally exhausted, physically sun burned (we went to the North Sea on Sunday w/Fabian's dad and girlfriend. Was a blast, but am now burned), tired and feeling run down. I've decided to only get a "I attended this class" certificate for one of my tests because I don't care if I don't get credit at NDSU, cause I'm not superwoman (I can't do it all, even though I try sometimes) and because I really didn't get the class....

I have a test on Tuesday, homework (6 pages) due on Wednesday morning (gonna be pulling a partial nighter for that one I'm afraid), a test on Thursday and a presentation on Thursday (both of which should be easier). Plus I have a bunch of other things to do before I go to Mallorca.

Just make it all go away please.

Friday, July 14, 2006

oops

the no comment thing was my fault. I turned on a "approve all comments before publishing" thing on my settings, and forgot.

i'm so blonde sometimes, I scare myself.

wooo.

thanks for all the comments guys! you've been supportive, and I didn't even know! awww... yes suzie, me leaving everybody and having to say good bye makes me sad, but it's cute that you said it makes you happy! :) I am excited to see you all again. Leaving is such a weird feeling.

But now I gotta go.. today's my last day at the bird park.

Did I tell you all that I got the 1 bedroom apartment I wanted in University Village?

YAY!

So, I had my second test of the semester yesterday! It went very well, and I only studied for 1.5 days for it (that's how much time I had, I found out about it last minute). Anyways... here are the results of things so far:

Zoo Research: done :)
Women and Gender History: B- (3)
Social Psychology: B+ (2)

I still have:

Music Test
Cognitive Psychology
German Culture Test
German Culture Presentation
Homework assignment (basically an essay) for Anthropology

So, there's still a lot to do... but at least two are down with good grades! :)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Anybody there?

* knocks on computer screen*

Hello? Is anyone out there? Are you still reading me? I haven't seen any comments in a long time... no words of encouragement, no congratulations on getting better grades than you thought, no wow the diablo thing is cool/horrible/dumb/different... do you still exist?

*sighs, walking away* I feel so lonely in this world called cyberspace.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

THIS JUST IN:

So, I e-mailed the guy here who is responsible for sending my grades back to NDSU in the american system, and he told me that a 3.0 on the German scale is really a B- in american! YAY! And since we don't have any "+" or "-" grades at NDSU, that means that I really got a B in those classes! YAY! ALL IS NOT LOST! I MAY BE ABLE TO USE MY CLASSES FOR CREDIT AFTER ALL WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT HURTING MY GPA TOO MUCH!

YAY!

I'm sooooooooooooo excited, and relieved.

Okay. Now I need to get ready for class.

I'm a Goner

Not really, I'm just going to be really busy in the next fews days and I don't know if I'll have time to post, so I thought I'd warn you all ahead of time. Here's my schedule:

Wednesday - 2 classes, study for test for tomorrow
Thursday - Test (which I just learned I had on Thursday YESTERDAY!)
Friday - Bird Park: My last day :( afterwards Fabian is coming and we're all barbecuing.
Saturday - Fabian's dad's place, to see them one more time before I go.
Sunday - Fabian's dad's place, again.
Monday - class, study for tests
Tuesday - 12:00 test ; 2:00 test ; 4-8 babysitting - last time. :(
Wednesday - turn in homework assignment.
Thursday - may or may not have test (it might be on this thursday). Take train to Frankfurt and sleep in airport....
Friday - 5:00 AM flight to Mallorca (spanish island) until August 7th


So, there you have it. I have way lots to do, and little time to do it in. So... I'm a bit stressed out. Anyone want to trade lives?

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Dude, did you just hear that - Germany got 3rd Place?

It happened. Germany first lost against Italy. In the last minute of overtime, Italy scored 2 goals and Germany was out of the running for the World Cup Final. Germany played again last night against Portugal for 3rd place, and WON! :) WOO HOO!

Now, you may be thinking: third place? BIG DEAL! Actually yeah. Germany came further than anyone thought they would, they lost a bunch of games at the start of the season, and they beat Argentina, the favorite for the World Cup.

So yeah..I'm proud. Congratulations Germany.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

My Travels

So, I found this on Suzie's Blog and decided to create a couple myself. Here's where I've traveled to in the U.S. (I marked California, because technically I've been there, but we really only drove through a corner way in the bottom). You can easily see the parts of the country that I need to get to more:



create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide


I was going to put one up of Europe too, but since they don't separate the countries on the map, it looks like I've been all over Europe, when really I've only been to a few of the larger countries. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Dissapointment

I had my first test yesterday. For the last two weeks I have done hardly anything else, besides study for this test. I copied off information from books on the subject, got information from offline, used my notes, and used notes from a German girl who is in that class. I learned gobs of information, which I could explain from memory.

Then I went to the test yesterday. It was a spoken test. I was so nervous and hoping that all my hard work would pay off that I cried, which was really dumb of me. I couldn't control. This time I at least just left, calmed myself down, and came back and things went fine again. Before that they were fine as well. During the test I was able to answer all buy one question. I was nervous and she was looking at me as if I was dumb or something (it seemed) so I added a lot of "I think" or "I believe" at the end of my sentences which probably didn't help either. At the end I got a 3 which is like a C in the American system. Now, I know a C isn't bad, but I'm still disapointed.

Why? Because I did everything in my power to do well on this test. I knew that I would end up missing some points because I don't speak German as my first language and I end up missing things in class sometimes. But I was hoping for a B. I feel like the information I gave, and showing how much work and effort I put in to it, and how much stuff I did know (despite the fact that I didn't know a couple of things) should have earned me a B. The way she made it sound she actually wanted to fail me, but was giving me a C to be nice (they don't have D's here) cause "the grades don't really matter for you anyways." uh... hello? If the grades didn't matter I wouldn't be taking a test - I'd get a "teilnahmbescheinigung" which is a peice of paper saying I went to the class and took part.

So, I'm bummed and frustrated cause other than not cry and be more self confident, I don't feel like I could have done anything better. School is usually easy for me, so it's a little tough on me to have worked so hard only to have gotten a lower grade. I know other people haave this all time, and that here it is really only because of the language... but I feel like I did so much better, and that I actually deserved a better grade. That's what's frustrating, you know? If I deserved a C or even an F I'm fine. Then I got what I deserved. But I don't feel like I deserved this grade. And I have two more of these spoken tests in other classes, so now I'm more nervous for them as well. Will all that hard work again, only pay off in a 3 (C)? I'm going to e-mail the professor later to see what I could have done better to get a better grade, then apply that info to my next tests.

At least I have one class done with.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Reflections: 1 Year Blogging & (soon) I Year in Germany

On this fourth of July, I can't help but reflect back on the previous year, as my blog was begun exactly 1 year ago today from the office in my parent's house with this post.

I started out this adventure then, with so many ideas in my head of how it would go, all the friends I would make, the German I would be able to speak, and the way my relationship with Fabian would turn out after this year. I was scared and excited all at the same time, I wanted everything I could possibly get out of this year.

And now, here I am, just a little over one month before I leave: 54 days or so. I feel like I'm thousands of miles away from that girl who started out this year scared and excited, but at the same time I feel like the same girl. I guess it's the same feeling anyone gets, when they start out their life with one mind set, and then go through the real deal and change their mind set. That is what happened to me this year. There were great times, and scary times, and plain old not so good times. I've been lucky to have this year here, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Here's what I've learned:

1. Learning a second language is a constant process. You never stop learning and you never stop making mistakes occassionaly, but that's okay.
2. College in another language is T.O.U.G.H.
3. Spoken tests are just like 20 minute presentations, except you don't get any notecards.
4. No matter what happens in my life, I'll be okay.
5. It's easy to take for granted the little things in life that you don't get in another country: like drinking fountains (from the states) or brötchen (aka rolls: Germany).
6. I'm a procrastinator at heart.
7. I tend to stress myself out with too much things on my plate to do. But I always get things done.

8. In Germany they only put one space between sentences. Now I only put one space between sentences.

9. I tend to become a hermit when I'm too stressed out.

10. I didn't make nearly as many friends as I thought I would, but the ones I have are good. And I've learned how great it is to just spend the evenings/weekends with Fabian.


So, here's cheers to one year and hoping that the next year teaches me just as much as this past year has. Life is always a learning experience. With all the learning I've done this year, I've made some great memories and created a new me who I like.

In celebration of my one here on blogger, here are a few of my favorite posts:
* Diving
* I am
* News Conference

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE! (enjoy your day off. me, I still have class/work).

** Edit: Upon rereading this blog, my reflections sound almost negative about my year and I want to make sure you all know: my year here has really been wonderful. I'm really really lucky. I'm just also really really tired right now, which is why I think I sould a bit more pessimistic. It's too early to be chipper! :)

Monday, July 03, 2006

Diablo

Hey everyone. So, here's another video! Woo! This is a video done last Tuesday at my Juggling group thing. "Group" is a loose term, since there are 2 of us learning how to juggle (me and a guy from... um... eastern europe named Alish. I don't remember which country), the instructor, and two acrobates. The quality is a little poor, but you get the idea. The thing I'm doing is called a Diablo in german, and I don't know what it's called in English. These are the few tricks I can do (exciting huh?) that I've learned, except the last one didn't work very well... anyways.. enjoy!

Create your own video at One True Media

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Davinci Code: The Last Supper

Probably the main theme of the Davinci Code is the idea that Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ were actually married and had a child together. Click here to visit Spark Notes and read a summary of the book, for those of you who haven't read it. In this post I don't want to go into details about whether or not Jesus and Mary were or could have been married, but instead I want to focus on a piece of artwork used in the novel to "prove" that it's true.

This piece of artwork, as many of you already know, is none other than The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. The original painting itself measures 460 × 880 cm (15 feet × 29 feet) and can be seen in the convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan. Leonardo created the painting over a four year time period (1495 to 1498), although it was not worked on continuously during that time period. Though often referred to as a fresco (and reportedly done so in The Davinci Code itself) the painting was actually created on dry wall, and cannot be called a true fresco. It is due to this fact that the painting has not withstood time very well, and has gone through a variety of renovations since it was completed.

According to the book, the Holy Grail (said to be the chalice/cup that was used for the wine of the last supper) was never really a chalice, but rather a metaphor for a person - Mary Magdalene. Leigh Teabing, the character who explains this in the book, goes on to show that Leonardo da Vinci knew this, and that is why there isn't one chalice in Leonardo's The Last Supper. He goes on to say that not only is there no real chalice/cup, but the person who is really the Holy Grail is in fact in the painting and is sitting to Jesus's right hand. History says that this person is really the apostle John. That however, is not true..According to the book. The book argues that Leonardo da Vinci put hidden symbols in the painting in order to secretly show the world the truth about Jesus and Mary. It is these symbols that I want to look at a little closer. I have included pictures of the painting which will draw your attention to the details I want to focus on, however if you click here you'll find a link to a full screen, high quality version of the painting, which you can zoom in and out of wonderfully. I suggest using it, in order to take a better look at the painting as you read.

One of the first thing that the book points to is the appearance of a "v" which is said to be the symbol of woman or a feminine symbol (I'm not sure the exact term used by the book). It is pointed out that this "v" shape is created in the painting by Jesus and the figure to his right, as seen below.Now, as you can see, this is a legitimate claim. The painting really does form a "v" shape. However, as was pointed out to me in a recent lecture I attended on the topic, that isn't the only "v" found in this painting. Can you see the other one?
See it? Yep.. that's right. There are TWO "v's" in this painting - at least two quite obvious ones. Was Leonardo just making more symbols for women? Could be. But it sort of takes away from the claim that Leonardo was referring to the figure to the right of Jesus as a female based on the fact that he body forms a "v" with Jesus's.

One of the next claims that the book makes is that the figure seems to have a feminine bosom, feminine facial features, and a graceful/womanly posture. Look at the painting closely. Do you see a feminine bosom? If you do.. please let me know: I can't seem to detect one at all. I do admit, however, that the figure has feminine facial features, and probably a womanly posture. The figure is said to be "swooning" by some, and this works. Keep in mind the actual seen being depicted in this painting: Jesus just told the disciples that one of them would betray Him. They're all shocked/angry/upset. It would then be logical to think that the "swooning" being seen here by the figure in question is just a result of the shock that someone will betray Him, this person they had left their lives behind for. Still not convinced? Also keep in mind that the apostle here - John - was the youngest of the apostles and the most devoted to Jusus and was therefore often portrayed as more feminine in nature, in order to distinguish him from the others. Doesn't it at least seem logicalal idea that this figure, who was often more femininely drawn, may then "swoon" when told someone would betray your Teacher?

Okay, but for arguments sake, let's assume that this person is indeed more feminine, for other reasons. Let's not forget the many paintings we have all seen at one time or another in which men were painted feminine. I'm sure you've all seen them in your history classes back in high school, or at an art museum or somewhere. And if that's not enough, take a look at a couple other figures in the painting...
If you ask me, they look every bit as feminine as the figure to Jesus's right. They almost look as if they could have been sisters to the figure on Jesus's right.

Another aspect that I want to touch on from the book is the fact that the figure on Jesus's right is wearing clothes which are an inverse of Jesus. Jesus is wearing a red shirt and blue shawl (may be termed something else, but I don't know the right terminology) while the figure to His right is wearing a blue shirt and a pink/red shawl. This is pointed to, in order to show that they are indeed a pair. However, if we are to take this as true, it would mean that the same figures I pointed to above would also have to be pairs to Jesus - they also are wearing inverses of Jesus's clothing! The one the right is easy to see, pink/red shawl and blue shirt. The one on the left is harder to see, but if you look closely at his arm, you see a bit of blue fabric, which points to the concept of a blue shirt, and a red shawl. Do you see it? Granted, Jesus and the figure's clothing are more obvious, because the clothes are nearly identical looking, except in color... however if you are going to use the color as a reason you have to include the other figures who also have inverse colors of Jesus.

And last but not least... The figure on the right of Jesus and Jesus seem to form the letter "m" to mean "matrimony" or "Mary" however, I find this conclusion a little funny. It is so easy to find something when you are indeed looking for it. And, even if Leonardo meant for it to be an "m", that means nothing. After all, "m" could also stand for Mindy or Maryland or marshmallow.


There are other arguments as well. There's the fact that all the names of the figures in the paintings were written out by Leonardo himself and is agreed on by art historians. If it was Mary, why wouldn't he tell us? And, where was the other disciple? After all, if Mary took the place of one of the disciples, we're one person short in the painting. Where did the other one go? Someone would have noticed, and said something. There has been reports of a "floating" hand with a knife, which seems to belong to no one, but it actually does belong to a figure that we see, it simply is an uncomfortable position. If you can't find it/see it in the picture, let me know and I'll post a picture pointing to it. As you look to the left side of the table, you should see it.

To sum it up, I don't personally believe that Leonardo painted Mary in his depiction of the Last Supper. Leonardo chose realistictc approach to the painting of the scene..Therere wasn't one large chalice drawn, because realistically they probably didn't actually have one large chalice, and if they did it wouldn't have been the gold/diamond encrusted one that we all generally picture. And if Leonardo really did paint Mary, and if he really believed they were married and had a child, it doesn't prove anything, besides one person's thoughts/beliefs/ideas. It's important to look at the historical facts and contexts of thing, before we just blindly believe them. The same goes for this little (big) article, don't believe me: go find out for yourself. I merely have compiled several different arguments and ideas that I have come across lately into one article on the topic. The links are below, go check them out yourselves. Go to the library, check out books on the topics. And, leave me a comment, let me know what you think! :)

Resources:

The follwing resources were used in this article. I tried not plagiarize anyone, merely to put all the info I have found/heard into one place. Please, go check out the sites!

1. A lecture on The Davinci Code and the Bible, by a visitor professor for biblical studies from the University in Munich.
2. Wikipedia article on "The Last Supper". Website: click here.
3. A website on the Davinci Code. Website: click here.

Unfortunately I do not have the time to devote to this as I would like. I would love to do a full blown research paper complete with books by various experts who talk on both sides of the issue and everything.. however I simply do not have the time right now. That is why I stress, please don't believe me... go find out for yourself. I simply feel as though I should share some of what I have learned. I don't know how many of you have wondered if what Dan Brown says is really true.. I know I did until recently. Anyways, there will be more in this series, let me know if there are any specific topics that interest you all!